IT WAS A JOKE!

Remember back when I said they should bring back Harry Osborne? I was joking. It was a joke. I was throwing out some ridiculous thing. I love Harry. I would love to have him back. That doesn't mean that I thought bringing him back was actually a good idea. Marvel already brought back Norman.

Anyway, do I tell the guy at the comic book shop that I'm dropping Amazing Spider-Man from my pull list tomorrow, or should I wait until the first issue of "Brand New Day"?

I <3 Jeff Parker

Jeff Parker is awesome, and there is an interview with him up at Newsarama. Here's an excerpt:

JP: Because the suggested line-up I was originally given mentioned only one woman (I think I suggested Storm) and assumed Giant-Man would be in there. I knew the Wasp had gone gigantic before, so I originally suggested her as being able to go tiny or giant. The editors and VPs thought it might be too confusing, so we opted for her as Giant-Girl only. My thinking was, if I only have two women on this team, then I'm going to make one of them really hard to miss. I'd still rather it be three women. Just like if I were magically in the Marvel offices in the 60's I would beg Stan and Jack to make Angel a girl so the X-Men would have had a different dynamic from the beginning.

I love Giant-Girl, so I am really glad she's there, but I do not understand why having her be able to go tiny or gigantic would be too confusing. That's just dumb. I also love Jeff Parker for wanting to put three girls on the team. That would have been awesome. I wonder who he would have wanted them to be. Good for him for making her stand out as much as possible too. I don't know about making Angel a girl though. (When I was a little girl, I had a crush on him. He was blue then, and I thought the whole blond hair, blue skin and wings combo was really pretty.) That explains the X-Men First Class, vol.2 #1 story with Marvel Girl and the Invisible Girl though, as well as the friendship between Jean and Wanda, both of which I am so grateful for. It's so rare to see girls bond in comic books. It's even more rare to see a mentor relationship between two female characters. As a matter of fact, I don't know that I had ever seen that before. What he did there was so fresh and awesome, and yeah, it really is a very different dynamic.

Anyway, so much love for this man. Go read all his stuff, especially the Spider-Man/Fantastic Four story he did with Mike Wieringo, because it's a totally fun Spider-Man and Fantastic Four story drawn by Mike Wieringo. I can't wait for all his upcoming stuff too. I didn't read any of the 1602 stuff after the first miniseries, even though I liked it a lot, but I am all over this one.

Oh, and the Hulk screaming "Earth just want to be friend!" is my favorite part of "Ego the Loving Planet" too.

Also, 150th post! Woo Hoo! And it was about something positive. Yay for unintentional celebration.

Scout Attacks! Sensational Spider-Man #41

Uhg. I have responsibilities now. There are more important things that need writing, but "One More Day" is so bad that things just need to be said. So, let's just start at the beginning.

The one good thing I have to say about part 3 of "One More Day" is that the art has gotten a lot better. Quesada's got his weird noses under control. However, the covers are still the same covers.

That red haired troll looking thing sandwiched between the "Who are they?" and "What deadly secret do they share?" That's supposed to be the little girl from the story, who is actually kind of cute, if creepy. That thing is just stringy haired and ugly.

Speaking of the little girl, there is some alternate version on Peter and Mary Jane that are terrible parents.

First of all, they let her go off by herself just because she's smart? Yeah, being smart is totally enough to save her from predators. Also, she's smart, but she'd rather be pretty like her mother? Whatever. Stupid comic book.

Let me just say this, I have a hard time believing that any daughter of Peter's wouldn't take at least some pride in being smart. I also have a hard time believing that any daughter of Mary Jane's would be self-conscious about her looks. Also, Peter, if a little girl expresses insecurity about her looks, you assure her of how beautiful she is. You do not tell her she will grow up to be beautiful. I am not surprised that some alternate version of you is an awful parent. You obviously suck at dealing with kids.

Moving on to the less trivial and nit picky complaints and getting on to the more serious reasons to hate this issue:

I hate the fact that everything this little girl is saying is true. That is exactly how JMS and Quesada have been characterizing him since "Civil War." It's like they are saying "Look! This is what Spider-Man has become. Don't you want us to change that? Oh, and by the way, he's only acting this way because he's married. It's all the marriage's fault."

But that is not what Spider-Man has become. That is how they are currently portraying him in order to justify this crappy story arc. This is the worst kind of writing - making your characters fit your stories instead of your stories fit your characters. It is everything a writer is not supposed to do.

I am not even going into those alternate versions of a powerless Peter that he runs into, because they are just too dumb and insulting. I just want to point out the naked girl in the champaign glass.

I'm probably reading too much into this, but I'm just getting this vibe. This vibe of them retconning the Lee/Ditko era to make it more like the freaking movie. I have no words for this, if my suspicions are true.

Back to the bad writing:

I was trying to think of what could make this worse. What could possibly be more random than JMS pulling Mephisto out of his ass as a deus ex machina in the penultimate issue of this arc? All I could come up with is if JMS had actually written the Marvel editorial staff into the comic book. But then, at least, that would be honest. Mostly, this is just stupid because Mephisto's whole motivation for caring is literally that he is the devil. That's it. How does this even count as a story anymore? Also, on the final page, Mephisto says there's a part of their soul that will remember and scream out in pain for what they have lost. What's stopping them from meeting again, and getting married again? So dumb.

I was going to post the last two pages too, but it doesn't matter. The whole "I want your marriage" thing is so ridiculous that it seems pointless to go on. I will say this, though. What they did by having MJ be the one to want to hear Mephisto out is significant. JMS did the same thing when Peter was deciding whether or not to unmask. Both times Peter has dismissed the huge status quo changing decision out of hand, while Mary Jane has been the one to think it over. Basically, JMS is laying the blame at here feet, while simultaneously writing her as if she's the reasonable one so that the reader will be duped into thinking that the decision that is made is well thought out, and ultimately the right one. Well, not wanting her husband to abandon her and Aunt May to become a fugitive does not make her a villain. Neither does wanting to do anything to save Aunt May. It also doesn't mean that the decisions that are made are the right ones, especially when the writer fails to have the characters thoroughly explore all the reasons why the characters shouldn't make the decisions that they ultimately end up making. (I will, however, point out that during JMS's run, he has had Aunt May learn that Peter is Spider-Man and retconned Gwen Stacy's death so that it is the result of her own actions rather than Peter's, thereby removing two of the biggest reasons for Peter keeping his identity a secret. That doesn't really change the fact that Gwen Stacy's death should have at least been brought up in that particular conversation.) But, while none of this makes Mary Jane a villain, it does make Peter a coward for never really being an active participant in his own life. As long as he's not at fault though, right? Because that is what would ruin the character.

I've written all this without even going into the fact that all this magical, mystical crap is completely inappropriate for a Spider-Man story. After six years, that's kind of a moot point.

On a final note, if the next issue doesn't have Peter and Mary Jane giving it some thought, and coming to the conclusion that taking Mephisto's deal is the last thing that Aunt May would want them to do, it will just prove everything I have had to say about this story, and about the whole "Back in Black" story. For once, it would be nice if Peter would actually consider what she would think of everything he is doing.

Geektress

I haven't mentioned this before, but one of the reasons for the increasing lack of posting is that my time has been occupied by another project. Some friends and I have decided to start a website. It hasn't officially launched yet, but it should be soon. It's called Geektress and the whole point is that it's just a bunch of girls writing about geek stuff, and it's only girls, just because we thought that might be cool. Anyway, the site may not be launched yet, but we decided kick things off with our very own podcast.

We're still getting the hang of all this, so if you listen, be kind. We're beginners. In the first episode, we mostly talk about Wonder Woman #14, with a little bit of discussion about James Marsters in Dragon Ball Z and In Like Flint. Brenda, Rania and myself had a lot of fun, so we hope that others have fun listening to us, and if anyone's got any helpful advice or constructive criticism, we're open to it. (Yes, we have already discover that we say "like" a lot and just generally sound like 1980s Valley Girls.)

Click here to get your own player.

Where the Boys Are

Last year, a friend of mine had a son, and as a joke, I offered to pay her to name him Bruce Wayne. She didn't accept, of course, but the habit of me calling the baby Batman stuck, so when another one of my friends found out that she was going to have a daughter, it was decided that she would be Wonder Woman. It's weird, I know, but my hope is that one day, both of these children will grow up to love superheroes. That's my gift to them, for better or worse. My intent was to get them gifts that had something to do with their respective superhero mascots. It's very hard at their age, since there isn't much superhero stuff made for infants. So far, I have gotten some stuff for Batman, but I have yet to find anything for Wonder Woman. I was expecting that. Sadly, there isn't a lot of superhero merchandise out there for little girls, if any at all. (I did anticipate there at least being a movie during her toddler years that would lead to more Wonder Woman toys, but I guess that's not happening.)

Anyway, when the DC Super Friends Action Figures came out, I was thrilled. Sure Batman and Wonder Woman were still too young for them, but they would grow into them. I was going to buy them now, so I could make sure I got them. (I remember how hard it was to find some of the figures in the Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends line when we were getting them for my nephew. I had to order Cyclops from Canada.) The problem is, there is no Wonder Woman. I've looked in stores. I've looked on-line. Mattel doesn't even have the toys listed on their website. I have found Green Lantern, Flash, and Aquaman though. Aquaman! The character everyone makes fun of. He gets an action figure before Wonder Woman.

So what am I supposed to do? Do I get Batman his toy and not get anything for Wonder Woman? That would suck. It would have been awesome to be able to get a Batman and Batmobile and Wonder Woman and her invisible jet. Now I probably won't get anything. Why don't you want my money Mattel? I really love the My First Batmobile too, and the Batman, with his little smirk. This sucks.

And while I'm bitching about the lack of representation for my gender, is it just me or are the female characters disappearing from the Legion of Superheroes cartoon? I still think it's a really great show, and my favorite characters weren't any of the girls (I like Superman and Brainiac 5 the best), but I at least appreciated that they were there. This week's episode didn't have a single female character in it, not even to just stand there and look pretty. Have we even seen Triplicate Girl since she became Duo Damsel? I would like some follow up on that. On the plus side, we did get both Supermen this week. I love when we get both Supermen.

Oh, yeah, and what the hell was with the JLA forming on The Batman without a single female character. No Wonder Woman. No Black Canary. I expect better from my Saturday morning cartoons, or at least better than Smallville. One would think women would have gained some ground since the 1970s Superfriends cartoon, not lost it.

Wasn't This Initially Supposed To Be Weekly?

MARVEL ANNOUNCES ONE MORE DAY DELAYS

And we're supposed to believe Marvel will be able to make the thrice monthly schedule on Amazing Spider-Man.

I Suppose This Is Accurate

I like the quiz that said I was Dark Phoenix better though. Rogue has terrible taste in men, except for Magneto. (What? Don't judge me.) Beyond that, her life kind of sucks too.

What female superhero are you??? Rogue Your powers are a curse to you, and often alienate you from the ones you love. You're choatic and confused due to absorbing so many personalities and struggle to maintain who you are. On a better note, you are empathetic to other's problems.

Click Here to Take This Quiz Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

Because People Loved It So Much In Spider-Man 3

Marvel gives us a 5 issue mini-series of Spider-Man acting like a douche.

Was This Supposed To Scare Me?

Because it totally did. I think it's her head. It's too big or something. Also, I don't know if this was intentional or not, but her popping up at the end like that and telling Peter she could help reminded me of the little girl in Last Temptation of Christ, the one that turned out to be Satan.

Meh.

Alex Ross has designed the new Captain America.

I am not really happy about the gun. Also, the ultra shiny and the black so do not go together. It looks slightly better in Epting's not so shiny version:

I still don't like the black, or the gun. I want Steve back. I don't want a stupid time travel story though. I want them to unkill him. Captain America just doesn't mean the same thing if he's not Steve. Bucky can continue to be awesome as Bucky. He doesn't need to be Cap. Neither does Hawkeye, even though being Ronin is lame.

Whatever. I'm going to be petulant about this for a while. Also, unimpressed. Seriously? Why the black? It's ugly.

It Could Have Been A Lot Worse

I debated whether or not to do this, but what the hell. I now offer to you my real time reactions to the season premier of Smallville. I have an alcoholic beverage this time, so I think I'm ready.

Previously on Smallville, nothing entertaining happened. Also, please note that the guy who claims to be "[Clark], only a little more bizarre" is very much not Bizarro, so I will be calling him George. That's bound to be important.

Oooo, water pretty. Cute dog.

Yep, that's a broken dam.

Clark and George have a deep philosophical discussion. Then Clark punches George. That's what I like to see. Maybe we're off to a good start.

Oops, except that's followed by Clark evaporating all the water with his heat vision, which is cheesy. He should have used his re-build-o-vision. I like Clark acting heroic, and towards people he doesn't know even, so points for that, even if it is lame.

Shiny new credits. Michael Rosenbaum finally replaces Kristin Kreuk in the number two slot, where he always should have been, and Allison Mack finally gets the bump up she deserves as the only other cast member in all 22 episodes. Much better Smallville. Unfortunately, Erica Durance has added more fetish-ware to her two credits shots. It was probably hard to find her wearing anything else. They're not even pretending that anyone died by adding the new credits now though. It would have been pointless anyway.

Well there's Kara. If Jeph Loeb was still writing for this show, she'd be naked.

The suck thing about network television is that we did not get to see that beam, or whatever, get run through George or a really good look at the guy burning after he needlessly heat visioned him.

The entire silver hot pants army has drowned! I am so disappointed. I think I will cry.

Lionel's not there Clark he's on Broadway...or washed up somewhere to be saved by some faceless guy.

Uh, how does everyone not know he has superpowers? So dumb. And just stand there and stare at dead Chloe. Good job guys.

Woohoo! Shirtless Tom Welling, and it looks like he's been working out.

One of Supergirl's many powers: having perfectly dry and bouncy curls immediately after getting out of the water. That is impressive.

Shouldn't Lois at least still have blood on her shirt and a hole in it. Wait. Did she change clothes?

1) I still hate Lois. 2) I really hate the word "cuz." Who the fuck says that?

Lex has a female minion. Please be Mercy.

Blah, blah...angel...blah, blah...Lana. I hate that I don't care about Lex scenes.

Lois' ass makes George's face go cracky. Her ass is like the sun. Also, how did that slap not break her hand? And ewww. Why do they have to have scenes like that all the time? What purpose does sexual harassment serve? Couldn't we have just not have had a scene where George grabs Lois' ass and she kind of likes it? That's just so degrading and inappropriate. Oh, and completely pointless.

OH NO! Chloe's dead....or not. Moving on.

That was quick. She's already in the morgue? Also, that had to be freaky to film. Miss Sullivan's immediate family? Like her cousin? Not her dad. Couldn't have that. Nobody would call someone's parents at a time like this.

I have no idea what that spinning thing was. I would have thought there would be more emotion to that scene. Dying did no favors for Chloe's hair.

A person of color! And he's dead. I am so surprised. The phantom is all about the guts, isn't he?

George has all of Clark's twisted thoughts and memories and knows that what Clark and Lex really want is to run away together and rule the world.

I like the deeper voice on George. Is that Tom Welling doing that, or is it digital? It sounds much better than when they deepened Justin Hartley's voice. I like it. Very sexy.

Transformers on DVD October 16th! Awesome!

She was a suck friend, Chloe. She's not worth your tears.

I love Chloe telling him he has to get on with the flying.

Yay, Martian Manhunter! He knows everything about you, Clark. He can read your mind.

Clark has faith in humans? Kidding. I actually liked that little talk they had. Conversations like this between these two are long overdue.

Also, I'm pretty certain whatever the sun can do to George, a good moisturizer would clear it up.

Aww, poor Lex gets knocked out again.

Seven years and they are just addressing the fact that he gets his powers from the sun.

Yay! Punchy! Was that Martian Manhunter flying George out into space or something? Clark looks so proud of himself. I like that.

They really need to stop with the Superman wanting to kill everyone.

Yes, a perfectly natural reaction to the woman you love dying is grabbing your ass, Lois. It combats grief and cures world hunger.

I don't even know how to feel about all this "embracing my destiny" talk now. Last season I loved it, but there's so much back tracking and stalling that it's hard to take seriously.

Musical montage! With FIRE! Eww...and Lana moping. OK, that wig is hilarious. Oh, and Kara found pants. I'm very happy for her.

Well, that was better than expected, and certainly much better than the season finale. Maybe it was the alcohol. It still had crappy pacing though.

Stream of Consciousness

This morning I past by a newsstand in the train station and was confronted with Smallville's Lois Lane and Supergirl on the covers of Maxim and Stuff respectively. They were in their underwear, heavily airbrushed, and very vapid looking. I was disturbed, but not surprised.

One of the many things I love about Manhunter is that Kate Spencer wears sensible pants suits. Comic books need more sensible pants suit wearing type women.

I liked that Lois Lane wore pants suits in Superman: Birthright, which is probably my favorite Superman story ever. However, when I flipped through it last night I noticed that when Lex threw her out the window she was wearing a skirt. Ordinarily I wouldn't think twice about that sort of thing, but since I was specifically thinking about sensible pants suits, I was left wondering if there was a reason for the change.

Not that a woman can't wear a pants suit one day and a skirt the next. Personally, I would rather wear a skirt as long as I don't have to wear stockings.

I've never actually wrote about Manhunter on this blog, which is a huge oversight on my part. I've read the first three volumes and they are awesome.

I never write about Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane or my love for all things written by Jeff Parker, especially X-Men First Class. I should do that too. They are also awesome.

I planned out a series of posts on the top 10 reasons why I love X-Men First Class during lunch. Well, sort of. I figured out what the 10 reasons were. Hopefully I will actually get around to posting that one.

I plan a lot of posts that I never get around to. I am lazy.

CBR has an X-Men First Class #4 preview. Isn't Bobby Drake from Montauk? I don't remember Montauk being overrun with rednecks.

I didn't realize how much I loved Jean Grey until she was gone...again. I'd be willing to give that crappy looking, 90s-esque X-Force with Wolverine a try if Marvel would bring Jean back.

They'd have to promise never to tell another Phoenix story again though. There's no point bringing her back if they're just going to pull that crap again.

I'd probably hate Emma Frost a lot less if Jean was still around. Well, that and if she dropped the faux-British thing. The X-Men didn't need a Madonna wannabe.

I haven't done a comic book review in a while. The comics just keep piling up. I should probably just go back and review Buffy #6, except all I really have to say is that, while I think Whedon tells better stories, Brian K. Vaughn is a better writer for comics. The end result is a better comic that I care less about.

Or I'm just not as enamored of Faith as everyone else seems to be.

Faith is cool. Buffy is better.

Sugarshock is the awesomes, craziest thing ever.

I was going to write a review of "One More Day," but "slightly more readable than the previous issue" and "this still doesn't make much sense" is getting repetitive and I am bored with it.

I definitely don't feel the need to review the Green Arrow/Black Canary Wedding Special, as the internet has seen plenty of those since last Wednesday.

For the record, I found the opening scene far more troubling than the end, even though the end was pretty sucky as well. The middle was highly enjoyable though. I especially liked Superman.

I hate the fact that I am going to buy Green Arrow/Black Canary #1, just to get the explanation for what happened, even though I thought the end was fucking stupid and Judd Winick is a terrible writer, at least based on the three issues of Green Arrow I read.

I like Green Arrow and Black Canary better when written by anyone but Winick. I even like the Black Canary mini-series that everyone else seemed to hate, so why can't Tony Bedard write the Green Arrow/Black Canary series?

I watched the Legion of Superheroes and The Batman premiers this weekend.

I wasn't thrilled with The Batman's interpretation of Superman. He was kind of a dick. I liked bumbling, Christopher Reeve inspired Clark though, as well as the fact that they had George Newbern and Dana Delaney provide the voices for Clark and Lois. I was especially happy to hear Clancy Brown voicing Lex Luthor. Best Lex Luthor ever.

The redesigns for Legion of Superheroes are going to take some getting used to. I likes the young, cute versions. The episode was pretty kickass though. I can't wait for next week.

Could Brainiac 5 be any gayer for Superman? That went way beyond text. I haven't watched Superman: Doomsday yet. I look forward to really getting a feel for which is more homoerotic. Given the fact that James Marsters sexes up even non-sexual sounding stuff, I'm guessing Lex Luthor has a slight edge.

Smallville is premiering this week, but I don't think Supernatural is premiering until next week. That sucks because after sitting through Smallville, one really needs to watch something that is actually enjoyable.

No, I don't know why I still watch Smallville. I suspect there is some self-loathing involved.

I'm psyched about Heroes premiering tonight. Can't wait to see how the Petrellis make their return.

Is Kristin Bell going to be in the premier? I'm psyched about her too. Oh, and Sark from Alias is going to be on. Love him.

I love Adam Baldwin too. I hope Chuck is a great show and huge success.

I'm still mad at Nathan Fillion for signing on to do Desperate Housewives. I don't want to watch that show.

I'm going to watch Journeyman also, because Vorenus was my favorite character on Rome. I read a rumor somewhere that he might play Thor. That would be cool, as I think he can be badass and pull of the goofy language.

I have a strong suspicion that the JLA movie is going to suck. Also, I don't think Tom Welling is going to be in it, which sucks too.

Brandon Routh might be in it, which would be OK, but I'm upset that there isn't going to be a Superman Returns sequel. I wanted to see where Singer was going to take it. If this is true, then I really hope Brandon Routh is in the JLA movie, because I loved him. I might even like him better than Tom Welling.

Damn You Brian K. Vaughn!

Marvel Knight's next big miniseries the three-issue "Logan," starring Wolverine and written by Brian K Vaughan and drawn by Eduardo Risso. "I'd expect first quarter of 2008," Alonso said of the series' debut. "Eduardo's just about done."

What happened to only doing creator owned stuff from now on, huh? Why you gotta go and write a Wolverine story? I don't wanna read a Wolverine story, but now I have to. Don't I? Not cool, BKV. Not cool at all.

Spidey Cartoon!

Blog@Newsarama has some stuff on the upcoming Spectacular Spider-Man cartoon, like Sean Galloway's character designs from his blog (above). (There's a link to an interview with director Victor Cook.) Pretty cool looking, right? I'm super excited about this cartoon. Yay! for new Spidey cartoon. Okay, I'm calming down.

Anyway, I think they all look really cute. Peter's possibly too cute, but it's so hard to make guys look geeky anymore. If they put him in a sweater vest, like Ditko did, he'd look like a hipster. I'm guessing his geekiness will come across more in how the character is written. Harry's got Osborn hair. I'm very happy about that. Osborn hair makes the character. I would believe anyone who had that hair would go insane. His pant legs are too baggy at the bottom though.

It looks like, in the latest attempt to reinvent Gwen Stacy so that she doesn't completely suck, they've turned her into a geek-girl. I guess that works. Actually, since I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that Mary Jane is going to be the primary love interest as that's just what people are more familiar with, I wonder if they aren't going to go with characterizations similar to those in Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane for Gwen and MJ. That would work, I think. I hope we won't get a movie-MJ characterization. That MJ sucks. Also, I hope Liz Allen, Flash Thompson, and Betty Brant are going to be in the cartoon. I want to see as much of the supporting cast as possible.

I cannot wait for this cartoon, and it's gotten picked up for 26 episodes already. Saturday morning is going to be so awesome, with Legion of Superheroes, The Batman, and Spectacular Spider-Man. It'll be like the '90s when FOX had Spider-Man, X-Men, and The Tick, except, I actually think Spectacular Spider-Man is going to be better than the '90s cartoon. I've read a bunch of interviews and stuff and the creators say all the right things and really seem to get it. I hope I'm not disappointed. I can't take any more Spidey related disappointment.

Peter Parker Was A PIMP

THE WIZARD RETROSPECTIVE: SPIDER-MAN AND MARY JANE:

JOE QUESADA (Marvel Comics editor-in-chief 2000-present): I liked MJ being the girl out of [Peter’s] league. That’s something we can all identify with at some point or another.

Couple of Quick Questions:

How many girls did Peter date that weren't out of his league?

• Betty Brant - the older woman
• Liz Allen - the popular girl dating the quarter back
• Gwen Stacy - scientist/beauty queen
• Mary Jane - model/actress
• Felicia Hardy - the Black Cat. You've seen her. I don't think I have to say more than that.
  
• Deb Whitman - OK, I'll give you this one. She was normal.
  

And the kicker, they fought over him! That was despite the fact that most of them were being chased by guys who, at least on the surface of things, had a lot more to offer them, like actual time to go out on dates and stuff. So, I guess this is my follow-up question:

If a girl actively pursues a guy, is she really out of his league?

Basically, Peter Parker got any girl he wanted once he bothered to show them a little attention, and MJ may have actually pursued him more than most (aside from Felicia, who was needy an obsessive), as she continued to flirt with him even after he and Gwen became a couple and she started dating Harry. The fact that she got all commitment phobic later on is a separate issue.

I'm just getting really confused over where this idea that he was some sort of sad sack who couldn't get a date has suddenly cropped up from. Dan Slott mentioned it in an interview too. Sometimes I get the impression I read different comics than these guys did. Did they change something when they reprinted them? Is there some version out there where Peter was the Urkel to MJ's Laura?

Also From the Retrospective:

BENDIS: I was a youngster when the marriage took place and I received an invitation drawn by Bill Sienkiewicz in the mail from Marvel. I didn’t send [Peter and Mary Jane] a present, but it was marketing gold.

I want it! It's so 80s, with MJ's frosty blue eye shadow. Now I'm upset that my Mary Jane Barbie, who is sportin' the wedding gown, doesn't have frosty blue eye shadow. The irony, of course, is that I hate weddings in real life. Comic book weddings are fun though, probably because there are super villains and I don't have to buy a new dress for them.

Ah, well, I will probably have more to say on this at a later time, because I am me, but I'm done for now.

HBO Is Showing X-Men 3 Right Now

Cyclops has this reaction:



I think my hate of this movie has slightly subsided. It's still really awful though. They couldn't even be bothered to come up with an original title sequence.

No...no...still hate it.

How do you craft a film that makes me hate Hugh Jackman? I don't even know how that's possible.

Well, Scott's dead now, so I better turn this thing off before I start getting angry.

It's Probably Because I Am Such A Big Geek

Which Heroes character are you? Your Result: Hiro Nakamura   You are Hiro Nakamura. You can bend space and time with your mind. You always try to do what is right and you are very innocent. Maybe too innocent. You took a trip to the future and saw NYC blow up. Now you are focused on saving the world. You also love sci-fi.
Issac Mendez
Claire Bennet
Peter Petrelli
Nathan Petrelli
Sylar
Matt Parkman
Niki Sanders
Which Heroes character are you? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Scout Attacks! Amazing Spider-Man #543 and Sensational Spider-Man #40

I'm finally getting around to some reviews that I found really difficult to write. There's this one, and, hopefully, an Astonishing X-Men #22 one coming up soon. We'll see.

To be honest, I could not even finish reading Amazing Spider-Man #543. It just becomes increasingly obvious that the people at Marvel have not even been trying to tell good Spider-Man stories in years. They have been intentionally driving the character into the ground so that when the inevitable reboot happens, we will cheer and thank them for getting rid of this crap.

So, the blood transfusion that Peter gave Aunt May didn't work and a reverend is coming around asking MJ if any thought has been given to what arrangements May would want made if she died. This is the first thing that pissed me off, because Peter's reactions to all this were completely selfish. For starters, I find it hard to believe that, as practical, not to mention old, as May is, she would not have let Peter know what she wanted when she died. What would Aunt May want done if she died, Peter? Well, what about whatever you did the last time she died? (As an aside, I wonder if they ever did anything about the fact that they buried an actress as Aunt May.) Also, considering the fact that Aunt May has been shown to be a Church-goer within the pages of JMS scripted comics, the whole conversation about what May believed in was just really bad.

Then we get to the part where the detective is investigating May's shooting. This is where Peter's actions went from selfish to nonsensical. It was just a lot of overreaction. For starters, I don't understand how knocking the police officer out so that he and Mary Jane could get away didn't still fall firmly into the category of breaking the law but knowing that he was right. It was tying the cop up that really crossed the line. Also, why the hell did he take May? If he had left her there, the hospital would have had to continue to give her medical attention. She might have been transfered to a cheaper hospital, but since he's transferring her anyway, it doesn't really make a difference. Anyway, it was when he started counting off his felonies that I had to stop reading. I tried going back to it later, but the best I could do was skim through the last few pages. When I first read this issue, or part of it, I was really upset. How could they do this to Spidey? Thinking about it now though, I realize that really, all these lines that he's supposedly crossing is just a huge overstatement of what is actually happening. This storyline just grows increasingly idiotic with each issue.

I enjoyed Sensational Spider-Man #40 a lot more. It's really just another story just another story where Peter realizes that for all the bad things that have happened, being Spider-Man was ultimately worth it because of all the good he has done helping others, this time by having a little chat with God in the guise of a homeless man who looks like an uglier Iggy Pop. I liked when Peter asked if he had really saved thousands upon thousands of people and God answered "Well, I'm counting team-ups, but...yeah. At least." (If God's counting team-ups, then Peter's helped save the entire world as recently as the Spider-Man and the Fantastic Four miniseries "The Silver Age.") This issue also began with a nice little recap of Spider-Man's history. Bonus points for remembering Liz Allen's existence and having Peter count Harry among all the people that he has lost. I could have done without the "His first, and some say truest love, Gwen Stacy" line though, and not just because of my personal feelings about Gwen Stacy. The story is being narrated by God. If Gwen Stacy was Peter's truest love, he would know. He wouldn't need to comment on what "some say," and since it is narrated by God, and not just an anonymous narrator, it makes it sound like people within the world of the comic book, as opposed to the readers, are sitting around debating the point. What do I know though. Maybe that's how Betty and Flash spend their dates. (I now realize that I just devoted several lines to a very minor quibble, but it's like they can't mention Gwen Stacy in a comic book without saying "his first, and some say truest love" like it's her full name. It's irritating, and especially so when it doesn't belong.) This issue also gets points for the fact that Clayton Crain made Peter Parker look like Billy Crudup. Looking like Billy Crudup is never a bad thing.

Peter and MJ make for a ridiculously hot older couple.

What I liked most though was that this issue left us off with some hope for Peter's future. That's not something we get a lot of in Spider-Man comics anymore, and it was certainly something I needed after Amazing Spider-Man #543. All in all, this was a nice wrap up for what has been a pretty uneven series.

I Am So Proud of My Italian Heritage

Scientist suggests super-sticky Spidey suit

Also, I so want one of these things. Next, these Italians need to apply their magnificent brains to creating some web shooters. Or would I have to come up with that myself, y'know, like Spidey did?

JLA Movie

There are a ton of rumors going around about the upcoming JLA movie that appears to be getting the fast track at Warner Brothers. Blog@Newsarama has a pretty good rundown of all the news, complete with links to relevant articles.

Frankly, I have a pretty strong suspicion that the movie will suck. I got pretty discouraged when I read the words "OMAC" and "Maxwell Lord." I want Solomon Grundy, damn it! Or the Legion of Doom. Who doesn't want to see that awesome, swamp-dwelling Darth Vader head in live action? No one, that's who. And I'm sure we can all agree that movies would be far more fun if they had more talkig Gorillas. Gorilla Grodd needs to make the jump to the big screen. Basically, I want the JLA movie to be fun.

Then there's the casting news that is sure to make my obsessive compulsive, continuity loving head ache. Neither Christian Bale nor Brandon Routh are going to be in the movie. That makes me sad. I am, however, kind of excited by the idea that Tom Welling might be playing Superman in the movie. Smallville sucks, and they haven't done right by the character of Clark Kent in years, but I still think he was perfect casting for the role. Unfortunately, Millar & Gough are being bitchy about it. They own Welling's soul or something.

Then there's the unfortunate rumor going around about Katie Holmes as Wonder Woman? After not wanting her back for The Dark Knight, would Warner Brothers want to give her such a high profile role? God, I hope not.

Ryan Reynolds seems to still be the go to guy for Flash, which, no complaints here.

The best casting rumor so far though is Laurence Fishbourne as Martian Manunter (via CBR). That would be friggin' cool. He's awesome.

I can't even begin to imagine who should play everyone else. Christian Bale is so unbelievably perfect as Batman that I have a hard time even consdering anyone else. I'm still in favor of Joss Whedon's choice for Wonder Woman, Cobey Smulders. Oh, and I don't know if Green Arrow is going to be in the movie, but if they go to the Smallville well for that too, and cast Justin Hartley, I will be pissed. He can play Aquaman though. I thought he was really good in that pilot.

Hells Yeah!

John Romita, Jr. Returns to "Amazing Spider-Man" in 2008!

Finally something to be happy about.

In Praise of Red Sonja's Belly

There was a comment to on my Spider-Man/Red Sonja #1 review asking who the artist was, and I thought I should just do a quick post on it, because I really should have mentioned it in the first place. Pencils were done by Mel Rubi, with color by Brian Buccellato. It was written by Michael Avon Oeming.

This was a big oversight on my part because 1)it's always important to give credit to the creative team, and 2) the art is very good. If I am going to take the time to call out Michael Turner on his general Michael Turner-ness, I should take the time to mention that Rubi did a great job on the interior art. My only defence is that I was distracted by all the awesome.

As my anonymous commenter pointed out, and I quote, "MJ's got belly! She's not stick-thin or inhumanly tuned, she's actually curvy and fleshy and realistic!" I believe that Rubi is the regular artist on Red Sonja, so I would assume that he always makes Red Sonja look like this. It's good to know that she's being drawn to like like someone who could, conceivably, carry a sword.

Anyway, Spider-Man/Red Sonja is not a book you should judge by it's cover. Rubi draws a pretty cool looking Spider-Man too.



Issue #2 isn't coming out until September 19th, and I'm already impatient for it.

And to anyone who came over here from When Fangirls Attack, thanks for reading. It's made me all self conscious though. I am suitably embarrassed of all my typos. Not embarrassed enough to go back and fix them, but embarrassed all the same.

Faith is Batman!

Oh, like you didn't think the same thing. Anway, here's the rest of the preview.

This Movie Is Going To Be So Friggin' Cool

A quote From Entertainment Weekly's preview of Shoot 'Em Up:

''There's a gunfight while everybody's free falling out of an airplane,'' says Davis. ''You can say, That's a little bit too much, Michael. Well, yeah, but do I want to see
a gunfight in midair? Yes!''

I think that pretty much says it all.

I Must Have These

McFarlane Toys is coming out with How the Grinch Stole Christmas figures.

I am a complete sucker for Grinch-related merchandise. I buy the multiple Grinch ornaments that Hallmark releases every year. I even have Grinch and Max stuffed animals. Basically, what I'm saying here is that these figures are the coolest things ever and I need them now, especially this one of the Grinch and Max. Max might be the only thing I love more than the Grinch. He's so adorable.

Seriously?

I found this Livejournal entry via When Fangirls Attack. In it Kate Willaert gives more specifics about the Spider-marriage related discussions that went on at the various Marvel panels (including the X-Men panel - apparently X-fans support MJ too) at Wizard World Chicago, which was only hinted at in the Newsarama and CBR reports. The whole thing is interesting, but this is the meat of it:

I didn't hear any "boo"ing from the crowd at the Mondo Marvel panel, but the MJ marriage once again dominated the Q&A portion of the panel, though you wouldn't guess from the three-sentence summary it gets in Newsarama's report. The CBR report actually mentions a few of the specific questions/answers addressed, but misses what I thought was the money-quote of the hour, which at least Newsarama paraphrases in their aforementioned three-sentence summary. When asked why we need Spidey unmarried in the regular books, when you can read new young-unmarried-Spidey stories in Ultimate Spider-Man, Joe responded that there are all sorts of things you can do with regular Spidey that you can't do with younger, Ultimate Spidey, because younger Spidey can't do things like "have sex, or download porn."

Yes, have sex, and download porn. That is an exact quote...I am not making that up. My roomie crazy_elf_girl turns to me in disbelief and whispers "those are the stories he wants to tell...??"

After he's finished answering the next question (a non-MJ one), I decide to raise my hand, hoping to get him to elaborate on the sex/porn thing. Joe points right at me, but there were two guys in front of me and slightly to the sides, and one of them launches into his question, thinking Joe was point at him...oh well. After that question has finished up, I raise my hand, and Joe calls on me again. My question goes like this:

"One of the things I really like about the way the Spider-man books is set up, is that with Ultimate Spider-man you can read about younger, single Spider-man, and in Amazing Spider-man you can read about the older, mature, married Spider-man, which allows you to be able to tell a greater variety of different stories. So I'm confused, are there really stories you want to do with an older unmarried Spidey, that couldn't be done with Ultimate Spidey-- [Joe tries to start his answer, but I briefly cut him off to finish the rest of my question] --because I don't think "having sex" and "downloading porn" make for real interesting..."

And then I trail off to let Joe start his answer. Which is basically once again asserting that, yes, there are all sorts of stories you can only tell with an older unmarried Spidey, but without being able to cite any more convincing examples.

Y'know, I remember being a young girl, reading reprints from the Lee/Ditko and Lee/Romita eras. More than stuff like Spider-Man's first battle with Doctor Octopus, or anything like that, what I really responded to was when Peter would sneak those porn mags or screw Betty Brant in the Daily Bugle's supply closet. Yeah, those were the good old days.

Kidding aside though, isn't that precisely the kind of question they should be prepared to answer for the fans in all seriousness? Don't they owe the fans that? And I don't mean fans that are upset at how MJ is treated as a character by this editorial regime, or fans that are just opposed to anything that messes with the status quo, though I probably fall into both categories. I mean the fans as potential consumers. Shouldn't they get some assurance that they will be getting a unique product and that it will be worthwhile to buy both comics in the future?

Quesada and company is supposed to be trying to sell us on a concept so that we will want to read their comics, and they are doing a piss poor job of it. Right now, people are so pissed that I'm not sure they will buy whatever Marvel has planned for Spider-Man even if it's the best thing ever, unless, of course, that this is all just an elaborate misdirection. I really don't think that's the case though, and if it is, that's lame. The only thing worse than manufactured controversy for the sake of sales, is false manufactured controversy for the sake of sales.

Anyway, wasn't the whole point of making Spider-Man single again to make him more relateable to nine-year-olds, or some such nonsense? It would be so much easier to be more reasonable about proposed changes to the status quo if the powers that be could actually get there heads out of their asses and provide actual logical and consistent reasoning for wanting the changes to be made. Quesada seems to be getting upset that fans are getting so upset over this issue, but he created the issue in the first place, and if he hasn't been able to speak about it in any rational manner, I don't see why he should expect it from the fans. I feel the same way about when he complains about the personal attacks towards himself and other creators. I personally think that's wrong. It's something I try to avoid, though I am sure I fail on occasion, but I also think that you reap what you sew. When you intentionally bait the fans ire, you are not going to get pleasantries, or even respect, in return. That's just how it goes.

To try to spin this in a positive direction for a second, as a long time fan of Mary Jane, it's gratifying to see so many people vocally supporting the character and the pairing. It's a bit odd, but she may be the most high profile female character in the Marvel Universe right now. It's sad that so much of that attention has come out of negative things, like the statue, all this Spider-marriage controversy, etc., and I'm not really happy that she's probably best known as the character Kristen Dunst portrays in the movies (a character that is so totally not the Mary Jane I know and love), but hey, at least now the word is out there that a lot of people think Mary Jane Watson is awesome.

Whatever happens in "One More Day" and "Brand New Day," at least we have the good times. Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane will still be there, albeit without Sean McKeever, and they can't take away our copies of Spider-Man Fairy Tales #1:

or the Sensational Spider-Man Annual:

And while the marriage might be over, there's always the hope that the new comics will feature significantly more dancing!

Scout Attacks! Spider-Man/Red Sonja #1

So, I wanted to to a post tonight, and it was seriously running the risk of being another whiny "But the Spider-marriage is so wonderful" post. I didn't want to do that. It's coming, I'm sure, because it's all consuming lately. I think I might have to change the name of this blog to Peter & Mary Jane Matter. (I'm just giving Quesada what he wants and I hate myself for it.) I wanted to do something more positive, though. I have an X-Men post that I want to do too, but that's going to require more energy than I generally have, and when I do have that much energy, I have more important things I have to do. Anyway, this is still a Spidey & (sorta) MJ post, but it is one that's made of awesome. This is about the super fun Spider-Man/Red Sonja #1.

Let's start with the cover:

Ah, Michael Turner, your awfulness never fails to entertain. I just want to point out the, uh, pointy-ness of Red Sonja's ears. I almost think that I'm being too hard on his inability to render a realistic human figure when it is so clear that he isn't even trying to draw a human. And in the spirit of being kinder to Michael Turner, why won't somebody write the epic lesbian elf porn that he was so clear born to illustrate? This is actually one of his better covers though, possibly because Sonja's feet are obscured. In the variant cover she is literally standing on the tip of her toes, as if she were a Barbie doll whose feet are permanently molded to high heels. That's a pretty decent Spider-Man he's got going on there though.

The interior's a lot better. First, there's an amusing phone conversation between Spidey and MJ:

First, the nitpicker in me needs to point out that she would never say she is doing MacBeth. She's an actress, and she is in a theater. It's "The Scottish Play." Calling it by it's name is a bigger no-no than wishing someone good luck. Clearly, whatever happens in "One More Day," Mary Jane has brought it on herself by tempting fate like that. But it's Peter's behavior that is more troubling. He likes it when she dresses up like a cat? I'm sure MJ is the fun, adventurous type, but a girls got to draw the line somewhere. If she's dressing up like a cat for him now, next he'll be having her don a blond wig and a miniskirt and directing her to play dead.

Enough about Parker's kinks. Let's get to the wacky, but first, one of the cool things about this issue is that it has more Robbie than possibly JMS's entire run on Amazing Spider-Man. Look:



Two whole panels! And hey, do you think Venom's going to show up at some point?

I've read some complaints this issue was all set up, but I didn't mind, not when that alone is fun to read. If you don't already know, this story is a follow-up to the awesomely cracktastic Marvel Team-Up #79, where a museum exhibit causes a bunch of wacky creatures to pop up in New York and people to get possessed. Naturally, Mary Jane gets possessed by Red Sonja, while some random guard gets possessed by Kulan Gath, the bad guy. Well, all that happens again, except this time the whole city gets transformed, even Spideys cell phone:

Frankly, I think Parker made out pretty good here. Even a small sack of gold has got to be worth more than any cell phone he could afford. Where does Spidey carry his cell phone anyway?

Another cool thing about this issue has got to be the continuity with the earlier story. Kulan Gath is determined not to let Spider-Man and Red Sonja team up and spoil his plans again.

Turning Mary Jane into Red Sonja and pitting her against Spider-Man makes so much more sense than just keeping her away from the sword and thereby leaving Red Sonja out of the equation altogether. Kulan Gath is a genius! You can't argue villain logic though, especially when the final outcome is as awesome as this:

MJ's not even really possessed. She's just pissed. I'm not getting the impression that Peter told her that she's turned into Red Sonja before. Oh, and let's not forget the cat costume thing. As a matter of fact, I think it would be awesome if this was the real lead up to "One More Day." Not that MJ's pissed at Peter about it, but that after turning back into herself, MJ decides that she rather likes carrying around a sword. Imagine how much cooler your average Mary Jane plot point would be with a sword. Sure it was awesome when she beat the crap out of the Chameleon with a baseball bat, but it would have been awesomer if she had chopped off some limbs. And the next time she has a stalker, she could just impale him. Unfortunately, Spider-Man just can't be married to someone who goes around chopping off people's limbs. Mary Jane has to choose, Peter or the sword. Mary Jane chooses the sword, and all Joe Quesada's problems are solved.

Anyway, the series can only get wackier from here. I can't wait.

Did She Just Say Heart of Steel? Because That Would Explain Alot.

I think I'm kind of partial to the mullet though.

Scout Attacks! Random Comments About Various Comics

So I lied. I am going to do little reviews. Well, not really. These are just things that occurred to me while reading. I would hardly call them reviews.

The Amazing Spider-Man #542: Well, that was ridiculously out of character, and there's still another issue left in this arc. I am so bored. More and more I am getting the idea that Spider-Man has been intentionally written into the ground since issue #500 (that hand in the newly released cover is so Future Spidey) in order to justify whatever stunt they are going to pull at the end of "One More Day."

Batman #666: I actually really liked this issue. It raised a lot of questions that I think are going to be important for the rest of Morrison's run. I've been loving this evil Batman storyline though, even though I don't understand it. It's just a shame Barbara will have such an unfortunate haircut in the future.

Batman #667: And Then There Were None recast with The International Club of Heroes. I've always though that Agatha Christie needed more people in silly costumes. Extra points for the abundance of ethnic stereotypes.

Black Canary #3: This story still might not actually be about Black Canary, but damn if no one kicks more ass than her. That was some hurt she put on Ollie.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer #5 "The Chain": Wow. Just wow. This might have been the strongest issue yet.

The New Avengers Illuminati #4: I love Namor. Has he always been this cool? Also, Tony Stark is totally a Skrull. Either that or he is now so arrogant that he doesn't even consider himself a member of the human race anymore. Wait. That's actually believable too.

The New Avengers #33: I'd just like to point out that Madame Mask is on the cover of two New Avengers covers (this and Illuminati) in a single month. I think that's funny. Also, Spidey shouldn't be on this team anymore, and Hawkeye appears not to be a Skrull. My threat to personally storm Marvel offices and beat the crap out of anyone there if Luke Cage of Jessica Jones is a Skrull still stands.

Sensational Spider-Man #39: Woah! It's Anna Watson. Man, did she pick a bad time to visit from Florida. Also, Peter, Aunt May is older than Yoda. If she wants to go, just let her go.

Spider-Man and the Fantastic Four #4: I love you Jeff Parker. I love that Spidey gets a monument erected in his honor, even if he doesn't know about it. and how perfect is it that the book ends on Peter telling a bad joke and the Impossible Man being coughed up by a cat, like a hairball.

Wonder Woman #11: So they bring in Jodi Piccoult, publicize the hell out of her run, then stick her with a stupid crossover which was obviously at odds with the direction she wanted to take the character in and she doesn't even finish the story arc? That makes no sense. Worse than that, the start of this issue reads like the new writer just randomly decided to do a complete 180 on the events of the last issue. DC has so fucked this title up. But hey, at least we get some nostalgia by having Diana straddle a big rocket. That's something, I guess. It would be nice to see Wonder Woman actually win at something though, just for a change.

Scout Attacks! Supergirl #20

So, I've decided to change the way I do things and just review a couple of comics that I really have something to say about. I've just gotten so far behind and have realized that I have no real desire to catch up. I'm going to start this new era of Scout Attacks! with Supergirl #20.

I have never had much interest in Supergirl, so it's a surprise even to me that I picked this up, let a lone was actually excited about its release. Admittedly, that excitement was pretty much based entirely based on my love for Renato Guedes' art and the pact that the character sketches that had been released a while back looked absolutely gorgeous. However, after reading numerous interviews with writer Tony Bedard, I became really interested in reading his take on the character. It's not secret that Kara's been getting a lot of bad press, and frankly, everything I had seen or heard about the title was a really big turn off. Between Bedard and Guedes, I was getting the idea that Supergirl might be on the road to becoming the kind of superheroine I would like to read about. Then Amazons Attack #4 came out and I got really pessimistic again.

This issue directly ties in to the events of Amazons Attack #4, and that's really a huge drawback. It's not a good event. Furthermore, Supergirl's actions in that issue - she and Wonder Girl hijacked Air Force One and tried to forceably take the President to meet with Hippolyta to end the war - seemed irredeemably and criminally stupid. I really did not believe that any writer would be able to pull the character out of that in any believable way. The fact that Bedard not only manages to do that, but is able to present the story in such a way that it is not completely necessary to have read Amazons Attack #4, is a huge credit to him as a writer. Also, he manages to do it while having Kara fight a huge freaking cyclops. That's just cool.

As much as I enjoyed Bedard's take on the character, what really made this issue worthwhile was Renato Guedes' art. I know I've mentioned my dislike for photorealism before, but he uses it to beautiful effect, without ever being distracting. (I don't look at his work and think of it as some famous actor playing the character. His characters look like themselves first and foremost.) Also, unlike the previous versions of Supergirl that I have seen, this version looks powerful and real. She's still beautiful and a little sexy, but there's a bit of awkwardness too. It's her strength that stands out - strength of character as well as physical strength - like in this image:

It would have been nice if the issue had a Guedes cover too, but that cover is a fairly good representation of the content. Kara screwed up and has to make it better. It's really a bit of a redemption story. This isn't a perfect issue, but it's a good superhero story with both action and character development. It's really a shame that this creative team is only doing three issues, and that they had to be event tie-ins (especially considering how uninteresting the events are), but if Kara continues to be a strong and heroic yet vulnerable character, who is a bit confused but is trying to do the right thing, even if it turns out all wrong, I might continue reading even without Guedes' art.