Wanna See Something Really Scary?

Do you know what character I think would make for a really scary Halloween costume?

Jessica Fletcher.

I'm serious. That old broad brought death and destruction everywhere she went. At first, her evil was contained to the sleepy New England town of Cabot Cove, but eventually she ran out of people to kill there. (Eventually word had to get around of what was going on, and once that happened, not even the best tourism board in the world could keep up the influx of has-been, B-list, elderly celebrities who regularly made trips to the town.) The Angel of death spread out, bringing death to the streets of New York, and even plaguing Magnum PI on at least one occasion. The worst part is, no one ever caught on to her game. Jessica Fletcher continued her killing spree beyond the confines of her show and into several television movies.

How Come the Stripper Doesn't Get to Be an X-Man?

Now that we have met Nikki's husband, on last night's episode of Heroes, I'm a little upset that she's not a Colossus rip off since he's the Kitty Pryde of the show. (He should have tried phasing a baseball bat through Nikki's head. That's apparently how Kitty would deal with a betraying spouse.) My big revelation from last night was actually that Nikki seems to be a take off on The Sentry, what with the multiple personalities and all, though her powers aren't as close to those of The Sentry as the other characters are to their corresponding X-Men characters. Maybe I am missing someone and there is an X-Man with a super strong alternate personality.

The other big non-surprise of the night was that Mohinder's annoying neighbor s orkin for Claire's dad. That was so obvious.

The past couple of weeks haven't been as good as the previous episodes, but I am by no means disappointed. This show rocks. Also, November sweeps will have started by next week, so I am expecting things to really amp up, because that is what happens during sweeps.

Where the Hell is Jesus on This Thing Anyway?

A few authors got together and wrote this book of the 101 Most Influential People Who Never Lived. It's a list of the most influential fictional characters ever.

I haven't read the book, so I can't judge the authors' reasoning, but the list seems a bit wonky to me. For one, no matter what my personal opinions of the characters, I do think Superman (#64) has been more influential than Buffy the Vampire Slayer (#44) and Batman (#60). Is Buffy even old enough to really judge it's level of influence? Also, so many of these characters feed off the other characters on the list, or off of characters that don't even make the list. Isn't it a bit redundant to have both King Arthur and Luke Skywalker on there. Since Luke is more clearly derivative of traditional allegorical figures, wouldn't Han Solo be the more influential character since you can't throw a stone in the sci fi world without hitting one of his clones.

As for characters that were influenced by characters that didn't make the list, Batman borrowed a lot from The Shadow, so where's he? If you're going to include superheroes, where's Spider-Man, a character that, while definitely drawing upon and reacting to what came before him, turned that stuff on it's head? And I daresay Buffy would not exist if Peter Parker hadn't existed first.

Furthermore, I can not think of a single reason why the Marlboro Man came in at #1, especially when they have Joe Camel selling the smoking image at #78 and the American Cowboy selling the Western hard-man image at #19. Isn't the Marlboro Man just a derivation of the American Cowboy used to sell cigarettes. I won't even go into the irony that the Marlboro Man was developed as a way to start marketing a brand to men after the release of milder cigarettes with filters became preferred among the women the brand originally targeted. Essentially, the Marlboro Man is the result of a corporate sex change.

I can't really comment on the more literary and mythological figures. I will just trust that they deserve their ranking.

"Welcome Wagon"

Veronica Mars is back! Finally!

The premier was so good, better than the season 2 premier. We met a few new characters, like Parker and Piz. I can already see how the Neptune sheriff's department is going to handle the rape investigation, because, as we know, Lamb is a complete ass and will surely hold Parker's sexual history against her. I immediately liked Piz. He is adorable and is clearly going to come between Veronica and Logan. The fact that he is so immediately lovable also makes him immediately suspicious. He can't be the Hearst rapist, because he wasn't at Hearst last year, but mark my words, by the end of the season I am sure we will find out something really bad about him. After Beaver Casablancas, I don't trust anyone.

I will also go on record right now as saying that I do not think Dick is the Hearst rapist. (He is an eligible suspect because while he wasn't at Hearst last year, he was in Neptune.) After that ending, it would be far too obvious. I do wonder what he did though. Also, I think that Logan's friendship with Dick will come between he and Veronica also. As much of an idiot as Dick is, he stood by Logan through everything. Logan's not likely to forget about that, and Veronica isn't likely to cut Dick much slack if she suspects him of something.

Fun Fact: The criminology professor, who Veronica's classmate was drooling over, was also the hot anthropology professor on Saved By the Bell: the College Years. By the way, how funny is it that Veronica is taking an introductory criminology class? I'm guessing she'll do well.

Finally, I was so happy to see some of my favorite recurring characters get bumped up to regular status this season. I'm looking forward to seeing more of Tina Majorino (Mac) and Michael Muhney (Lamb) this season. Unfortunately, I am not digging the new credits. I get slowing down the theme song (again) to accommodate the ever expanding cast, but I really miss the sketches. I guess I will just start fast forwarding through the credits now. Eh, whatever, my favorite show is back. Woo hoo! I can't wait to see what happens next.

Astonishing X-Men #17

(I hate when I can't think of more interesting titles for my blog entries.)

OK, that post about Heroes was a brief respite from the recent theme of this blog, but really, we must be getting back to the Joss Whedon gushing. I've actually been meaning to do some gushing on this topic for almost a week. That's right, it's time to throw some praise on Astonishing X-Men #17. Did you read this thing? It was amazing. Up to this point, #14 had been my favorite of this arc. Then issue #16 comes out and it's a pretty dead heat. (That issue did teach us just how badass Kitty's powers can be, after all.) Now #17 comes along and blows away, not only every other issue in this arc, but possibly of the entire series to date. So now I give you random bits of Astonishing X-Men #17 love:

• Kitty Pryde continues to be my new favorite character - I thank god that she's on the side of the angels, 'cause that thing with the pipe in the head was scary
  
• Victorian child Logan
• The end of Victorian child Logan - apparently beer is his spinach, which is just priceless
• Whedon and Cassaday fucking pulled focus in a comic book. Unbelievable
• Lockheed: WTF? That's just...really unexpected
• Cassandra Nova is the scariest looking old bald lady ever
• Cyclops: badass!
• the cover

I also have a question. What is Teenage Negasonic Warhead's power, besides having the coolest name ever? Have I just completely forgotten seeing her use it? I'm going to have to go through the past issues and check that out. I hope I don't have to pull out my E is for Extinction trade paperback, because I have no idea where it is. While I'm at the question asking, why does Scott have a gun?

Honestly, I just can't say enough good things about Whedon, Cassaday, and the whole team on this book. I had forgotten why I once loved the X-Men, and while I have recently decided to give Uncanny and adjectiveless X-Men another chance, and am finding that I mostly enjoy those titles, it's such a joy to be able to just pick up and read an X-Men title without having to worry about whether I am caught up on all the crap baggage that normally comes with reading an X-Men title. With Astonishing I can just enjoy the story and the characters. I can't wait to see how Whedon is going to wrap "Torn" up in the next issue. There are so many balls in the air. We have two Emmas, Ord, Danger, Cassandra Nova's psyche (which was just all kinds of ewww), Teenage Negasonic Warhead (I just like the name), and whatever Emma did to Cyclops' powers. I can only imagine some of that stuff is going to carry over into the next arc, because surely not even Whedon and Cassaday can cram that all into one issue.

On a non-X-Men, but still comic books related note, is anyone reading and Sensational Spider-Man and Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man? I had given both titles up for being completely sucktastic, but now I feel like I'm missing out on stuff. I'm still not sure I am happy about the events of Civil War with regard to Spidey, but I can't deny that it has put Amazing Spider-Man back at the top of my pile of books to read whenever it comes out. JMS is just handling it incredibly well. (The fact that it gets us away from crap like "Sins Past" and "The Other" doesn't hurt at all.) Have the other two books experienced the same bumps in quality?

Shows Named After Bowie Songs Rock

First of all, I have to admit that I am already a bit confused by Heroes. I felt a bit like I started watching it halfway through. However, I am more than willing to go along for the ride and try to make sense of everything that is going on. I thought the premier was fantastic. My favorite character so far is Hiro. He quotes Star Trek, references the X-Men (and Kitty Pryde no less), and you just can't beat the pure unadulterated joy he feels about being superpowered. Conversely, the cheerleader from Texas (I think) really annoyed me, but I am going to cut her some slack for now because her mom is weird and her dad is clearly evil. The character I was expecting to hate but actually kind of liked was the guy played by Milo Ventimiglia (the nurse who thinks he can fly). The press painted him as some whining, mopey youth and he really wasn't. He was just a guy trying to make sense of his place in the world, which I think makes him very identifiable. Sure he was a bit broody, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Some of my favorite characters brood. The storylines I am finding most intriguing write now is the internet stripper and how she did what she did (it was awfully messy), not to mention what the hell is up with her reflection, and the Indian geneticist, because he obviously has some of the answers.

Next week we get to see Greg Grunberg. YAY! I love him and I hope that this role really gives him a chance to shine. He deserves it. Also, I just found out that Tim Sale is doing the heroin addict psychic's art, so keep an eye out for that because Tim Sale is amazing.

(I posted the answers to the Buffy trivia questions in the comments, so if you're interested, go check that out.)

Buffy Sing-A-Long

I know this is several days later than I said it would be, but look! I have visual aids! Those are the "instructions" for the audience participation. I was going to type them out until I remember I've had a scanner since February that I have never used and that Blogspot has a nifty little photo insert feture that makes it really easy. This is a momentous event. I posted my first picture on this blog. Look forward to many more in the future...or not. The fact that I now how to do it now doesn't really preclude my laziness. Anyway, on to my account of the Buffy Sing-A-Long...

My friend and I arrived at the IFC Center at around a quarter after 11PM and there was already a really long line of people waiting to get in. Soon after we arrived, the line became much longer. All the tickets sold out in advance of the show and there were actually people going up and down the line offering a minimum of $20 for the $10.75 tickets.

Inside, the theater was small and very crowded. The organizer, a thirty-something, heavy set man dressed like a watcher, was selling paper bags with the various items that would be used during the show for $2. Some of the bags were "special challenge" bags, meaning that there were some extra things that the people who chose those bags would have to do. My friend and I didn't take those bags because we didn't want to be made to do anything we didn't know about in advance. Next time I am so going to take one of those bags.

Before the show, there were a couple of competitions, or whatever you want to call them. First up was a Spike line reading competition, followed by an Anya line reading competition where three people were chosen to read a line in the manner of the character with the winner being chosenby the audience applause. The Spike line used was from "Tabula Rasa," when an amnesiac Spike realized he was British: "You english men are always so... bloody hell! Sodding, blimey, shagging, knickers, bollocks. Oh god.. I'm english." The Anya quote was from her seduction of Xander in "Harsh Light of Day": "I like you. You're funny and you're nicely shaped. And, frankly, it's ludicrous to have these interlocking bodies and not... interlock. Please remove your clothing now."

After that was Buffy-oke where three sets of people were chosen to act out a scene karaoke style. For this competition, the organizer chose the scene from the season 2 episode "Innocence" where Buffy went to go find Angel in his apartment the day after they had sex not knowing that Angel was now Angelus. He chose it because, in his opinion, it was the most heart breaking scene in the history of the show (and I agree that it deffinitely ranks near the top of the list) and because "a dulcet choir of pretty little birdies" was one of the best lines ever. While the other two competitions were entertaining, this one was especially hilarious, especially because two of the pairs chosen were same sex, one made up of two women, the other of two men. It was the mixed gender pair that one though, since they were by far the best actors.

Then they showed the musical, "Once More With Feeling." Finally. This was so much fun. I, of course, did not need the subtitles to know the lyrics to any of the songs. They are indelibly etched on my brain from numerous home viewings of the episode and countless hours spent listening to the soundtrack. Anyway, everyone sang and cheered and waved their little monster finger puppets around. During "They Got the Mustard Out," some of the people with special challenge bags had to get up on stage to dance around with dry cleaning bags. During "Walk Through the Fire," other people with special challenge bags had to throw around red streamers. Unfortunately, neither my champaign popper nor my kazoo worked. My odd vampire mouth noismaker did though.

After the show, they showed the unaired half hour production pilot, which I had seen in college when it was making its rounds on the internet, but that was several years ago. It was very bad, and there was the "very bad, terrible, wrong Willow" (an actress named Rif Reagan, not Allyson Hannigan, played Willow in the production pilot and she could not act at all), but all the seeds for what would become an amazing show were there. Having just watched the two hour premier, "Welcome to the Hellmouth" and "Harvest," on Sunday I can say that the production pilot may not have had the production values, or the Willow, of the final product, but the humor, charm, and originality were all present. Thank god the WB had the foresight to see past the low-budget to see the brilliant concept.

Well, that's it. Hopefully, this will become a widespread phenomenon and everyone will get to enjoy it in their own cities. The IFC Center already has another Buffy Sing-A-Long weekend planned for November. I'm going to finish up by posting the questions from the Buffy Trivia Challenge that was also in the goody bag. If you reply to this entry with your answers, I will post a reply with the correct answers in a few days.

1. Name the Broadway musicalthat launched Hilton Battle's career. (hint: It was made into a 1978 film staring Diana Ross)

2. Name one of the songs sung by Giles on BTVS before the musical episode.

3. In which episode does Anya forst reference her fear of bunnies?

4. "Respect the cruller and tame the doughnut!" is a reference to what movie?

5. What pop singer was going to provide Buffy's singing voice before SMG decided she needed to do it herself?

6. Which season 7 episode features a flashback sequence with another musical number from Anya?

7. Who is the only character to appear in the original Buffy production pilot and the series finale of Angel?

Farewell, Old Friend

I fully intended to post an update about the awesome Buffy Sing-A-Long I wet to last night, but I think there is something I bit more pressing and monumentous that I should address first. Today marks the final day of programming for the WB before it becomes the CW. To honor the event, The WB aired "A Night of Favorites and Farewells," including the series premieres of Felicity, Angel, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Dawson's Creek. Naturally, I felt obligated to tune in for the networks final five hours.

I thought the shows that they chose to show were very interesting. All were shows that have been of the air for a few years, and while Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Dawson's Creek were both flagships that helped define the network, none were the huge rating successes along the lines of 7th Heaven and Smallville. Felicity and Angel never even seemed to be all that appreciated by the network when they originally aired. That said, I do think that these shows, along with the aforementioned 7th Heaven, will be what the WB is remembered for. And I think the reason for choosing these shows was to showcase the talented young creators (J.J. Abrahms, Joss Whedon and Kevin Williamson specifically) that were given their start by the network.

Over the years, I have bitched about the network's handling of shows, meddling, fostering of the likes Joey Potter and Lana Lang as positive female characters, the overemphasis they place on the hair length of their stars, and the continued existence of 7th Heaven, but there really was a lot of good there. After all, The WB gave Buffy the Vampire Slayer a chance when no other network would (for that alone I can forgive almost all sins). They also gave us Gilmore Girls and four wonderful seasons of Everwood, one of the most intelligent and interesting family dramas ever. Many of the actors and actresses have gone on to bigger and better things as well. Who would have ever expected Jaime Fox to go on to win an Oscar?

I also loved that their final five hours of programming included showing some of the old WB ads, which were always entertaining, if completely bizarre. I especially liked the "Watch the Frog" campaign, which is hard to explain. Essentially, two of the network's stars would be engaged in a supposedly candid conversation (two that were aired tonight featured Michael Rosenbaum talking to Tom Welling about padded bras and Kristin Kreuk and some actress I did not recognize talking about how going to couple's counseling is easier than going through all the work of a break up) and then happening upon Michigan J. Frog, the network's former mascot, and one of them saying "Watch the frog," presumably before the other actor or actress stepped on him. Like I said, the ad campaigns were bizarre. They also re-aired a series of ads that featured James Vander Beek and Scott Foley on a road trip. There were also montages of the bumps featuring all the actors and actresses throughout the years. Say what you will about the talent level of most of the shows, but you can't deny that they were among the most attractive people to ever grace television screens (well, aside from Vander Beek).

Think of me what you will, but most of the shows I watched since the start of the WB have been WB shows. They were very much the pop culture touchstones of my generation since the beginning. I don't know if the CW can really live up to that legacy. Their line up barely features much new programming, let alone anything innovative, and it seems much more focused on reaching out to advertisers than gaining a following with young viewers by providing an alternative programming to the other networks. Veronica Mars is the only risky show they have in their line up and it's going into it's third season. It's a bit depressing really, since burgeoning networks have in the past built themselves up on shows like The X-Files and Buffy the Vampire Slayer before they went all corporate. However, like the WB before it, the CW will be showing the majority of the shows I will be watching.

Tomorrow: the Buffy Sing-A-Long, a.k.a. the geekiest thing I have ever been a part of.

Best. News. Ever.

Joss Whedon is going to take over writing Runaways after Brian K. Vaughn leaves. I had actually hoped this would happen, which is what kept me from being completely devastated when I heard that BKV and Adrian Alphona were leaving the book after issue # 24. This is just so cool. I read about it late last night and I got entirely too happy. What can I say? I am a total Joss Whedon fangirl. I would not have even discovered Runaways if it wasn't for him since I had never heard of the title until I read that it was Whedon's favorite.

Joss, of course, has some interesting and entertaining stuff to say about taking over the titles. He also made some comments over at Whedonesque.com (scroll down and you'll find all three). This is what a big fangirl I am. Even Whedon talking about Runaways delights and entertains me, but when he's joking about jockeys hitting eachother with baseball bats, putting Molly on Planet Hulk, and how he's going to kill half the team, it's hard not to love the guy. Also, putting Molly on Planet Hulk isn't such a bad idea, though I'd rather see her beat up Wolverine. (But Whedon's got Wolvie acting all Victorian and wussy over in Astonishing X-Men, so I'm happy for now.) I'm excited about putting the Runaways on the run again too. This is going to be so cool, and anyone who isn't reading this book should deffinitely catch themselves up by next April so that everyone can share in my joy.

In unrelated, but still comic booky news, I think I may have found the very first Manga title that I am interested in checking out. Return to Labyrinth sounds pretty cool, and I would really love to know if the Goblin King can possibly be as cool in print as he was when brought to life by David Bowie. I have no idea if the too tight pants, crazy big hair, and disturbingly sexual nature of his performance can be captured on the page, but I really want to find out. I suspect it will involve a lot of inappropriate, yet essentially harmless touching.

More Fun With Lists

The whole not including cartoon characters or puppets rule really made compiling the list of my favorite television characters tough, so I've decided that I needed to make a list just for them. For this list, I ignored the rule about having to be a regular character, because that would have eliminated some awesome characters that just could not be ignored. All the characters did have to come from series though, not movies or specials. Sorry, still no Barney Rubble.

As always, this list is in random order.

1. Buffy the Vampire Salyer

OK. Fine. She never actually made it into cartoon form, but it would have been awesome. I'll start over now.

1. Spider-Man
2. Winnie the Pooh
3. Grover
4. The Tick (the only character to make both lists - unless you count Buffy)
5. Gonzo the Great
6. She-Ra
7. The Question
8. Harley Quinn (the most adorable psychopath ever)
9. Lex Luthor (nothing but love for the Super Friends version, but I'm talking Timmverse all the way)
10. The Flash (again, Timmverse)
11. Kermit the Frog
12. Cyclops (included not because he was ever in a very good cartoon, but because I first became aware of him through a cartoon, and that deserves acknowledgement)
13. Brak
14. Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law
15. Brock Samson
16. Homer Simpson
17. Firestar
18. Iceman
19. Ms. Lion

Hehe...Just kidding...

19. Optimus Prime
20. Bumblebee
21. Skeletor
22. Snuffleupagus
23. Oscar the Grouch
24. Snoopy
25. Charlie Brown
(I figure there are enough Peanuts specials out there for it to be considered a regular sort of thing and therefore they can make my list.)

You know what? I don't actually think that's a great list. I bet if I limited it just to a top 10, it would be a really strong list. Maybe I should have just done a list of my top 10 JLU characters. Whatever. I'm leaving it the way it is.

Fun With Lists

A of at Whedonesque.com directed me to James Gunn's blog and I realized two things: 1) James Gunn is very cool, both as a person and as the director of the Dawn of the Dead remake, and 2) this blog needs more lists. So, in that spirit, I am going to list my 25 favorite characters, just like James Gunn did. Later I might even take another page from Mr. Gunn's book and list 100 things I love and 100 things I hate. Anyway, a note before I begin, unlike James Gunn and Joss Whedon's lists, Whedonverse characters will be all over this motherfucker. However, I will try to stick to the rules of not including any puppets or cartoon characters (making it a very difficult list to compile) and to only include characters that are regulars on the show.

Now on to the list of my 25 favorite television characters, presented in no particular order:

1) Buffy Summers (Sarah Michelle Gellar, Buffy the Vampire Slayer) - OK, this one actually is in order, since she is deffinitely my favorite television character ever.

2) Jack Bristow (Victor Garber, Alias)

3) Sydney Bristow (Jennifer Garner, Alias)

4) Veronica Mars (Kristen Bell, Veronica Mars)

5) Malcolm Reynolds (Nathan Fillion, Firefly) - James Gunn may have left him off but I sure as hell wasn't going to.

6) Wonder Woman (Lynda Carter, Wonder Woman)

7) Jayne Cobb (Adam Baldwin, Firefly)

8) Brother Justin (Clancy Brown, Carnivale) - the rules say no cartoon characters, but Clancy Brown had to be represented, even if not as Lex Luthor

9) Agent Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan, Twin Peaks)

10) Spike (James Marsters, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel)

11) Spock (Leonard Nimoy, Star Trek)

12) Bill Haverchuck (Martin Starr, Freaks and Geeks)

13) The Tick (Patrick Warburton, The Tick) - Thank god there was a live action version

14) Captain Kirk (William Shatner, Star Trek) - Shatner's Roast is on right now and I realized that there is no way the greatest Star Trek captain does not make my list

15) House (Hugh Laurie, House)

16) Buster Bluth (Tony Hale, Arrested Development)

17) Gob Bluth (Will Arnett, Arrested Development)

18) Willow Rosenberg (Alyson Hannigan, Arrested Development)

19) Rob Petrie (Dick Van Dyke, The Dick Van Dyke Show)

20) Dr. Bob Hartley (Bob Newhart, The Bob Newhart Show)

21) Wesley Wyndham Price (Alexis Denisof, Angel)

22) David Brent (Ricky Gervais, The Office UK)

23) Stephen Colbert (The Colbert Report)

24) Aeryn Sun (Claudia Black, Farscape)

25) Timmy(Josh Ryan Evans, Passions)

Man, that list was so hard to come up with. I didn't think I could make it to 25 without cartoon characters, but now that I'm done I feel like I left people out. Oh well, I'm sticking with it. Who do you think I should have put on the list?

From the Man Who Made Ninjas Boring...

Marvel needs to stop hiring Zak Penn to write everything because he fucking sucks. I couldn't even watch Elektra, and I think I have made my feelings about X3 perfectly clear.

At least he's not writing Captain America, so I can have hope for that. I think I am going to write a letter to David Self and ask him to include Cap's "Do you think this A stands for France?" line from Ultimates. As I have mentioned before, I really want to hear that line in the movie. It just says it all.

Finally, do you think Hank Pym is going to beat his wife in Ant-Man movie?

Embarrassing Admission of the Day

I am actually looking forward to watching Gene Simmons Family Jewels tonight. I'm the first to admit that the world doesn't need any more reality shows, especially not of the kind where some celebrity puts himself and his loved ones on display for cash, an image change, or some desperately needed exposure. I'm sure this show is an attempt by Simmons to return to the spotlight and appeal to a new audience, much like The Osbournes did for Ozzy. (Eventually, KISS is going to have to make good on those retirement claims.) That's actually the main reason for my emabarrasment. Nothing Simmons ever does seems to have a motivation other than profit and self-aggrandizement. A reporter recently asked him if he was worried that the show would hurt his image, and therefore his future earnings. Simmons responded by saying that it might, but he already had enough money. I have to wonder how much money he's still making off that image now anyway. The KISS Army is there, and I don't think anything he does is going to lessen there willingness to buy anything he slaps a picture of his giant tongue on, but I don't think that image is really pulling in the kind of profit it used to.

The clips I have seen look pretty amusing though, and you know that Simmons' ego, which is bigger than his platform boots, isn't going to be able to remain intact with teenager children. Seeing him get taken down a few pegs just by being in a domestic setting. (I saw Being Mick. Even Jagger doesn't get to play rock god with his family.) However, I mostly think this show is going to be interesting because the Simmons Family, while unconventional, seems pretty functional. That alone sets it apart from other shows of its kind. I remember some conservatives complaining about The Osbournes, but they should be far more concerned about a show like this. Here we have a rock star and a former playmate who have never wed and aren't even monogymous raising two well adjusted, intelligent and apparently very un-Osbourne-like children. That's pretty subversive stuff when you think about it.

On a somewhat related topic, the newest Entertainment Weekly had a small feature on Gene Simmons' past television roles. While that was amusing, and I welcome any mention of KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park and the bizarre casting choice for Ace Frehley's body double (too bad they didn't work in a mention the fact that that wasn't even Peter Criss' voice), it's a shame it was limited to television. I can't be the only person who wants to talk about Wanted: Dead or Alive, where Rutger Hauer memorably shoved a live grenade in Gene Simmons' mouth. That was good stuff right there. Man I miss the 80s.

By the way, if you didn't figure it out, this whole post was just a flimsy excuse to mention an almost twenty-year-old Rutger Hauer movie. Why would I do such a thing? Because I am at work and have nothing to do and no supervision, thereby eliminating the need to pretend like I am doing work. Also, it's always a good time to mention Rutger Hauer. I would do a whole blog entry on him, but quite frankly I can't remember much about his films besides little details like shoving a grenade in Gene Simmons' mouth. Good times.

Sadly, Cesar Romero Has Not Been Resurrected to Reprise His Role as the Joker

After rumors swirling around for a wile now, it has finally been confirmed that Heath Ledger will play the Joker in the Batman Begins sequel to be titled The Dark Knight. I won't lie. I think casting the Aussie as the classic Batman villain is as weird as everyone else does. It's not that I don't think he can act. I have always believed him to be a bundle of untapped talent and charisma just waiting for the right roles, and while Brokeback Mountain* still sits on my desk in its Netflix envelope waiting to be watched, I'm fairly certain that his performance in that film has brought the general public around to my way of thinking. And while most people don't enjoy A Knight's Tale nearly as much as I do (there's no crime in enjoying jousting, pretty people and classic rock), it at least shows that he does more than brood. I think Heath Ledger probably has a lot of tricks up his sleeve that we haven't seen yet, especially given the limited number of good roles he has had. Also, I think it is safe to assume that, given the tone of the first film and Goyer and Nolan's emphasis on realism, we will be seeing a slightly different Joker than we are used to anyway.

My problem with casting Ledger as the Joker, since I initially read the rumors, has been purely based on his looks. He's just so pretty. He's not like Cillian Murphy either, who is so pretty with a side of creepy. Heath Ledger is just straight up attractive. Not at all like the Joker. At least that's what I thought, but then I saw the picture that went along with PopWatch's item on the casting announcement. Check out all those lines he gets around his mouth when he smiles. The whole lower half of his face is pretty exaggerated. Dude won't even need any prosthetics, except for the nose. It's still entirely too button-like. It needs a bit of a point to it.

It seems that the second villain in the movie has also been confirmed as the Penguin. I find it amusing that Nolan wants Phillip Seymour Hoffman for the part since he is being reimagined as a British arms dealer. The only American in the movie would be playing a Brit. I can't be the only one who thinks that's funny. Actually, I'm disappointed -- not about Phillip Seymour Hoffman, because casting him is always a good idea, but because I was hoping we would get to see the Scarecrow again. Cillian Murphy did such a great job and he had so much potential to become an even bigger threat. I'm also a bit disappointed that they are still going with the two villains per movie thing. The Joker is a strong enough character to pose a threat on his own. Many of Batman's rogues are, which is why his rogue's gallery is the strongest in all of comics. I just hope they don't kill the character off at the end. That's a pet peeve of mine. These characters never get killed in the comics. I'm not cool with Batman letting them die either, but that's another issue involving what is generally perceived as acceptable behavior for a superhero by the public versus what has always been the standard behavior in the comic books -- a debate for another time.

Finally, I would like to put out a suggestion for the third movie. I know I am jumping the gun, but I figure there's no reason why I shouldn't be first. I'd like to see Poison Ivy. I know it's been doe before but 1) so has the Joker, and 2) Batman & Robin really shouldn't count. She's just such a wonderful femme fatale character. I would love to see a really noirish Batman movie, one that highlights his detective skills more than we have seen on film so far, and a great femme fatale would fit in so well with that kind of movie. Sure, you could use Catwoman, another great femme fatale and one the filmmakers could actually hook up with the Bat. The character could use some redemption after what Halle Berry did to her too, but with her, at least we have Michelle Pfeifer's wonderful performance from Batman Returns (truly the best thing about that movie). Poison Ivy only has that campy performance by Uma Thurman. She deserves better. Also, she's a hot chick, ad maybe if they use a hot chick for he villainess, we the audience will be spared a Katie Holmes 2.0 situation. Who says Batman needs a love interest anyway?

*Wasn't Jake Gyllenhaal Nolan's second choice to play Batman? How funny would that be? So funny that I can no longer resist the Brokeback humor...."I wish I knew how to quit you, Joker."

For the Honor of Grayskull!

I am SHE-RA!

Not really, but it would be so cool if I was. For one thing, I would not be suffering the physical effects of helping my friend move yesterday. However, I did just finish watching the Best of She-Ra DVDs. After all these years, my memory of the show was a bit fuzzy. I mostly just remembered the basic story and how much I loved the show. I was a little afraid that it wouldn't hold up, but it turns out there was no reason to be afraid. Sure the style was very different from what we are used to now, even in cartoons, but it was like reading a comic book from the 80s, different but still good.

Overall, the show is still really strong. She-Ra and her alter ego Adora are wonderful characters, every bit the equal of their male counterparts, He-Man and Adam. Actually, Adam could be really insufferable, while Adora was always intelligent and capable. As, J. Michael Stracznski (former She-Ra writer, creator of Babylon 5 and current writer of Amazing Spider-Man as well as several other comic books) notes in the documentary on disc 2, when Adora becomes She-Ra, she becomes even more of who she really is. Embracing her power allows Adora to become more confident and bold. This is illustrated in the episode "The Stone in the Sword," my favorite episode on the disc (and the only one that doesn't feature and characters from He-Man). In this episode, the stone in the sword (hence the title) cracks during battle and Adora loses her ability to turn into She-Ra. In order to save Bow (the show's damsel in distress was naturally a guy), Adora must get the crystal repaired by journeying to the top of Sky Dancer Mountain and down into the Etherian Underworld without becoming She-Ra. She proves that she is worthy of becoming She-Ra and the stone is repaired. That is why she is such a great role model. Also, she kicks ass. The importance of that cannot be underestimated.

On The Secret of the Sword audio commentary and in the documentary, it is mentioned that Etheria was set up with the evil Horde in control as a reaction to Eternia, where the good guys ruled. In short, He-Man works for The Man, while She-Ra is a rebel. It makes sense that they wouldn't want to be telling the same story on both shows, but it also works as an unintentional feminist statement. The rebels, most of the regularly recurring supporting characters being women, are trying to regain power that was taken from them by the evil Horde, lead by the male Hordak. Sure Hordak had several henchwomen, but it's not like there aren't any anti-feminist women. At the end of The Secret of the Sword, She-Ra, He-Man, and the rebel army even restore a woman, Queen Angela, to the thrown of the Kingdom of Bright Moon. I knew this show had to be the root of my feminist beliefs. Thanks, Filmation! Filmation gets bonus feminism points for employing the first ever female director for animation, Gwen Wetzler. It's fitting that she would work on a show that was all about empowering girls. Rock on, Gwen Wetzler!

I am happy to say that my love for She-Ra has been re-ignited. I cannot wait for the full season DVDs to come out. I never bought the He-Man DVDs because they are far too expensive, but She-Ra is worth it. She is the first of many kick ass female action heroes that I love.

Who Wants to Be a Superhero?

Did you see this? It was crazy and unbelievably lame and I absolutely loved it. Pure cheese, baby. Pure cheese.

Stan Lee, of course, made the show. He's so good at selling this shit. Why the man wasn't put on television ages ago, I have no idea. The contestants are a trip though. I'm going to call the winner right now. I bet it's going to be Feedback. I know the guy failed the first test, but he takes it so seriously. He quit his job for this and he has a sob story. Apparently after his father died when he was 14, he looked to Stan Lee's creations as role models. Also, according to the Scifi.com page for his character, he absorbs his powers from videogames. Major Victory has the best catchphrase by far with "Be a winner, not a weiner!" The Iron Enforcer just has to go though. He's an ass.

Then there was this show called Garth Marenghi's Darkplace. It's British and there are no words to describe it. Well, there are, and those words would be "horror spoof." Pretty funny stuff though, especially the "not acting, but truth" of Dean Lerner.

Finally, there was the Amazing Screw-On Head pilot. Why did I never hear of this comic book? How can I find it? I'm not sure if this has actually been picked up for a series yet, but it needs to be. Emperor Zombie rules!

And Now I Turn Into a Total Fangirl

I am really struggling to control my excitement right now, because this is totally awesome. I don't normally blog at work (yeah, even us amateur supervillains need to have day jobs), but I just couldn't resist. I have been looking foraward to the Buffy Season 8 comic books for so long, and now my excitement is doubled, or maybe tripled. My excitement is expotentially higher. I am completely unfamiliar with Georges Jeanty's work, but that cover is gorgeous. I look forward to seeing his rendering of the other characters. I also look forward to finding out if Xander will still be sporting a patch or if he will have gotten himself a glass eye. Now we just need to get an announcement about when it will come out and what other former Buffy writers will be working on the series (I'm hoping for Drew Goddard).

Between this and the Best Of She Ra DVD, today is just so cool.

Superman Returns

I finally got to see Superman Returns last weekend, but I have been dealing with wonky internet access all week, so finally, I give you my review (not that you were holding your breath). Beware of spoilers contained within:

While Superman Returns certainly had its faults, I thoroughly loved the film. It touched on all the things that make me love the character, and the visuals were incredibly stunning. Those action sequences were amazing. Bryan Singer’s visual style just seems to expand and improve with each film, and I thought Brandon Routh was wonderful as both Superman and Clark Kent. I’ll admit, I wasn’t nearly as thrilled with Lois Lane or Lex Luthor, but Kate Bosworth did not bother me nearly as much as I thought she would and Kevin Spacey’s Lex was a vast improvement over Gene Hackman. I didn’t even hate the kid as much as I thought I would.

I thought the emotional aspect of the film worked extremely well, since the whole movie was about Superman's isolation. Many people have complained about Clark/Superman's lack of dialogue. My response to that is to ask who he was supposed to talk to. He had no one. As Clark, he couldn't talk to anyone, because no one knew he was Superman. As Superman, he couldn't really talk to Lois, the only person he had anything to say to, because she had moved on. He just came back from Krypton, finally having come to terms with the fact that he really is the last of his kind, and then his one link to his heritage is taken away from him when Luthor stole the crystals. It was heartbreaking. That's why I found the end so powerful. I wasn't thrilled with the idea of the kid, and I would still prefer they went with a different angle on the whole thing, but you could see just how much knowing he had a son meant to him. He wasn't as alone anymore because there was this other part of him out there in the world, half Kryptonian and half human. Jason represented a link to both his heritage and his adopted world.

The main plot of the story didn’t work nearly as well for me as the emotional angle. I kept wondering about how Lex Luthor’s plan would work in the long run. The whole thing could have stood to have a bit more explanation. However, Spacey’s Lex Luthor proved himself far more menacing than Hackman’s ever was during the beat down he and his henchmen gave Superman. I actually found that scene rather disturbing, and I’m a girl who has been known to root for other versions of Lex Luthor. (Have you read my Justice League Unlimited blog entries?) Also, as I said before, the action sequences were amazing. They really carried the non-love story side of the movie. I went nuts over the plane crash scene and all the other heroics, especially the whole sequence where he saved Metropolis were exciting. I know the budget on this movie was astronomical (mostly because of all the previous failed attempts to get a Superman movie made), but it was worth every penny. Singer worked in the iconic Superman imagery seamlessly. I spent half the movie just completely geeking out.

The entire end of the film, from the beat down to the very last shot was breathtaking – a true testament to just how great a filmmaker Bryan Singer is. The shot of Superman flying up to the sun to recharge was breathtaking. Actually, every shot was unbelievably beautiful. The last movie I saw that looked this good was Peter Jackson’s King Kong. As a matter of fact, King Kong is the movie I would most likely compare it to, both in content and in the fact that it’s not nearly as successful as it deserves to be. It is fitting that both were filming at the same time. Maybe Singer and Jackson can commiserate about their under appreciation.

The acting was less stellar, but I thought Brandon Routh was wonderful. (I’ve got a crush on him now, so you will find it impossible to dissuade me from this point.) As has been noted and criticized, he did not have much dialogue, but he managed to sell so much emotion without saying anything. I never failed to feel for both Clark and Superman. My heart went out to him throughout, and if Routh had not been effective that would not have happened. Kate Bosworth did not annoy me as much as I thought she would, but she wasn’t great. Her acting wasn’t awful, but I think a better actress would have done a better job of making me overlook some of the flaws in the characterization. The way Lois Lane was written in this film just did not fit my ideal version of the character, but I thought it worked within the context of the story they wanted to tell. Kevin Spacey was great acting wise, but I would have preferred a different take on Lex Luthor entirely. However, Perry White and Jimmy Olsen were captured exactly how I imagined them. Next to Brandon Routh, I thought the most impressive performance was turned in by James Marsden as Richard White. As the man who stood between Superman and Lois Lane, he had a difficult task in front of him, but good writing and a considerable amount of talent and charm made Richard as sympathetic as Superman. Also, after X3, it was just really nice to see James Marsden get to play a considerable role in a good movie.

Superman Returns wasn't a definitive interpretation of Superman, and it may not even be my favorite, but it was a completely valid interpretation. I thought everything worked within the context of the story Singer was telling and I was incredibly moved by it. I'm not ashamed to admit that my eyes welled up with tears several times throughout the film. Between the powerful emotional storytelling, the beautiful imagery, plenty of moments to make my inner fangirl completely geek out, and quite probably the best superhero action sequences I have ever seen, I thought it was a completely satisfying movie and far better than a lot of the other superhero movies (like X3, for example). Spider-Man 2 is still my favorite superhero movie since I am 100% biased in favor of Spider-Man and I thought Dr. Octopus worked better as a villain than Lex Luthor; and it is hard to compete with the original Superman films since the are a fond memory from my child and are the standard by which I judge all superhero films; but Superman Returns would definitely be put near the top of my list.

I Know He's Got a Mutant Healing Factor, But Really Now...

I haven't done any of the updates I planned to do, partially because I am lazy and partially because I have had this killer sinus infection for the past two weeks. There's so much to talk about, like the Spider-Man 3 trailer, Superman Returns (which I haven't seen yet, also partially due to the killer sinus infection), Marvel's Civil War, the last issue of season 1 of Young Avengers, and so much more. I had no idea where to start. It's all very overwhelming, so I decided to start with my personal WTF moment courtesy of Wolverine #43. (Spoilers to follow, so don't read if you don't want to know.)

Let me start off by saying that I think this particular Civil War tie-in storyline is pretty good. It's not great, and I personally find Ramos' art a bit weird looking (especially the hands), but I'm enjoying it. That said, I have a question. How the hell does Wolverine heal himself from getting completely incinerated? I'll admit, my biology knowledge is fuzzy, but if all that's left of him is his skeleton, there's not actually anything left to heal. Don't you need white blood cells to heal? And don't tell me it had something to do with bone marrow, because if you can't cut adamantium, you sure as hell can't heal through it. Anybody got an explanation for how this can work? I'll take anything that's remotely plausible, but right now, I'm not buying it. Also, when Magneto ripped the adamantium from Wolverine's body, didn't it take a while for Wolverine to recover from that? I don't remember that well, but I thought it did. In Wolverine #43, Wolverine is all better and beating up Nitro within a matter of minutes.

There's just getting out of control with Wolverine's healing factor lately. I didn't read Ultimate Hulk vs. Wolverine, but didn't Wolverine get completely ripped in half? How did that work exactly? Did his two halves get reunited and kind of fuse back together? Did he grow a new lower body? Seriously, I would like to know. Someone please tell me, because it seems to me that we are getting away from healing and venturing into regeneration, which is something mammals cannot do. Regeneration should be a whole separate power, and one that belongs to a lizard or amphibian-like mutant.

I had a similar problem with Wolverine #32. Let's overlook the fact that the issue sucked and focus on the fact that Wolverine repeatedly got shot in the head. I'm not saying this would kill Wolverine, because he would definitely heal from being shot. However, this was during World War II, before he got the adamantium, and I don't think any of those bullets passed through his head. That means that all those bullets were lodged in his brain. How could he heal properly while having to accommodate the presence of all that lead. Shouldn't he be severely brain damaged?

I don't know, maybe I'm missing something, but this sort of thing is really starting to bug me.

Sometimes I Actually Love the Sci Fi Channel

Normally, I think the Sci Fi Channel is just awful. They have some good original shows, but then they go and ruin it all by adding the ECW to their line-up. How is wrestling science fiction? I have no idea. Then there are times when I think the Sci Fi Channel is the greatest thing ever, like this morning, when I was randomly flipping through the channels, tryint to find something to watch on this lazy Sunday morning. That's when I came across Alien Apocalypse.

Jackpot!

There is no better way to spend a lazy Sunday than by watching a Bruce Campbell movie. Campbell plays a doctor who returns from a 40-year NASA mission with a group of other astronauts to find that the Earth has been conquered by cheesy looking, bug-like aliens. I don't think I'm giving anything away by saying that Bruce, naturally, becomes the leader of the oppressed humans and frees them from the aliens. It's what he does. And of course, he does it all with the typical Bruce Campbell humor.

I love cheesy alien movies. I also love how crappy the production values are, as well as the fact that almost all the the supporting actors seem to be dubbed. (The movie was apparently filmed in Bulgaria, so I'm guessing the dubbing was about covering up all the Bulgarian accents, or even the Bulgarian language.) I think the theory behing movies like this is, "We have Bruce Campbell. We don't actually need it to be good." They're right. Bruce Campbell makes everything better.

Renee O'Connor is also in the movie. I don't know if I was ready to see Gabrielle and Autolycus hook up, but it was cool to see her.

Finally, since I am talking about the awesomeness of Bruce Campbell, I want to let everyone know that the complete series of both The Adventures of Brisco County Jr. and Jack of All Trades come out on DVD on July 18. While Jack of all Trades was exactly what you woppould expect from the people behind Hercules and Xena, entertaining but by no means great, The Adventures of Brisco County Jr. was a very underrated show cancelled before its time. Personally, I'm planning to rent Jack and buy Brisco. I suggest that everyone at least check them both out, purely for the Bruce Campbell factor. For some older Bruce Campbell recs, everyone must see Bubba Ho-Tep and read If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B Movie Actor.