Did She Just Say Heart of Steel? Because That Would Explain Alot.

I think I'm kind of partial to the mullet though.

Scout Attacks!: Still Catching Up Part 3

I dropped the week number. It's meaning less at this point. I'm not even sure when these comics came out.

All Flash: This was little more that a super powered revenge story, which was a little off putting. It's not that it wasn't justified, it just was weird. Anyway, I picked this up because I thought it would give me an indication of whether I want to read the new (or return to old, or whatever) series. It didn't really give me an indication of what to expect, except that something weird is going to happen with Batman's costume and Wally's going to have his super powered kids trailing along. I don't really like kids. Some of the art in this issue was really good. Some of it wasn't at all.

Amazons Attack #4: There's so much wrong with this whole event. I don't even know how to review it. It's like a train wreck. Major events of this issue are Supergirl and Wonder Girl doing the stupidest thing ever and Batman and Superman being patronizing and awful. Seriously. When Superman was making his little speech to the Amazons towards the end, even though he was right, all I could think was that they should just beat the crap out of him. What an asshole. I'm beginning to think all these people are skrulls.

Birds of Prey #108: Gail Simone's last issue. Fortunately, it's a good one. It was so awesome seeing Babs, in her Batgirl shirt, beat up Spy Smasher. And then to have Spy Smasher confronted by all the superheroes who came out in support of Babs, rounded up by Black Canary, of course. This was just a total "Fuck Yeah!" issue. We also got Misfit's origin at the end, which was very touching. I love that kid.

Black Canary #2: We get another fun flashback at the start of this issue, this time from Green Arrow's perspective. Also in this issue, Sin starts at the special school for dangerous kids that Dinah's ex found, and Ollie gets a bit needy and insecure about the fact that Dinah's ex has shown up and she still hasn't accepted his proposal. Of course, the school thing is just a set-up so that the League of Assassins can kidnap Sin. I must say that Sin actually is kind of adorable, mostly when she is kicking people in the face, which she does to all the assassins and two cops. Unfortunately, Merlyn shows up disguised as Ollie, who Sin trusts, and she goes with him. That's why, when I was a little girl being hunted by the League of Assassins, I had a code word. I wasn't supposed to go with anyone who didn't know it. Dinah really needs to work on her parenting skills. Anyway, this was another solidly entertaining issue. The only problem is that it's not really about Black Canary.

The Brave and the Bold #5: I read somewhere that Mark Waid has suggested that the reason this book isn't selling as well as it should is because people keep describing it as "fun," and that has come to translate to inconsequential. That's certainly believable, though I don't really understand why people don't want to have fun. "Fun" is why I initially decided to pick this title up. Just in case though, I'm not going to call this book "fun" anymore. This book isn't fun, it's awesome. You will not in any other book see Batman engage in a mid-air fight with Karate Kid. It's way better than that other Batman and Karate Kid fight. There's also a story here, with that book they are trying to track down and the Luck Lords showing up at the end, all of which keeps this series from being inconsequential, if that's the sort of thing you care about. I just don't happen to care about that stuff.

Justice League of America #11: Meltzer produces an adequately tight and tense story here, even if trapped in an enclosed place stories are a bit cliche. The art is amazing and Ha does an incredible job of heightening the mood here. All that makes this a pretty good issue for anyone who is picking up the book for the first time. What made it really frustrating for me was that the set up to get to this story was horribly contrived. It felt a little like Meltzer was just trying to trump up Roy's character, but I guess he was trying to trump up Vixen as well, except Vixen doesn't really do much but whine and reveal that she kept a very important secret from the rest of the team. Roy's narration says a lot of good things about her, but that's just talk, so it's pretty meaningless. Also, everyone in the Justice League and the Justice Society are freaking morons for not realizing that cheetahs can't run as fast as the Flash.

Spike: Shadow Puppets #2: This continues to be a light and entertaining story that relies solely on the premise that anything + puppets = funny. That's not really a flaw. The puppet horse head in the bed kind of proves that. We get to see some returning characters from Spike: Asylum, which is cool, and we get introduced to an entertaining new character. There are also tons of great little moments. However, the real strength here, as it was with Spike: Asylum, was how good a handle Lynch has on Spike and Lorne. He doesn't fall into any of the traps that other writers have, like relying too heavily on British slang. It's just really good.

Captain America #28: This is another one of those comics that's hard to review. The quality is so consistent, that it's hard to say something different about every issue. This title is very good. Everyone should be reading it. I will say a couple of things though. The Serpent Squad's S.H.E.I.L.D. disguises aren't going to do much good if they put them on over their regular costumes. That goes double for the guy with the cobra head. Also, I find it hard to believe that, in a world where psychics are fairly common and there existence is widely known, there would be some kind of law against using them to question suspects. That's got to be some kind of civil rights violation. Now, I'm not saying that it's necessarily wrong to bring down Cap's killer by any means necessary, but as Tony Stark is now a government official instead of a superhero, it's pretty sketchy, almost, I don't know, Fascist.

Scout Attacks! week 7: Still No Title and It's Too Late to Come Up with Anything (except there's a title now)

OK, really late this week. I blame the weather. Monsoons just make me depressed and lazy. Fortunately, this week's comics didn't.

52 Week 49: The JSA have come to Mad Scientist Island to rescue Black Adam. Will Magnus has recreated the Metal Men and I don't think that all the king's horses and all the king's men could put Egg Fu back together again. Also, Atom Smasher really didn't want to believe that Black Adam killed an entire nation's population. Too bad it's true. I'm still on Black Adam's side though, even now that World War III is going to start because of him. What do I care about the people of Bialya. It's fictional, and I know zilch about it. On the other hand, the image of poor Osiris getting eaten is still burnt into my memory. Perhaps Black Adam should just show Atom Smasher that issue. This was a pretty exciting issue. I don't think I'm going to pick up the World War III miniseries (I'll judge whether it's worth the expense on the reviews), but I am interested to see how it ends up. This issue also brings up something that I've never seen dealt with before (though it might be old to people who know the DCU better than I), and I think it's interesting. If your super team has America in it's name, you really should expect that other countries are going to think you are in some way representative of America.

Wonder Woman #7: Well, I thought this was better. The opening fight with Circe was decent, and it was cool to see Diana get pissed off. Some of the humor this time around was actually funny. I liked when she dropped Nemesis on his ass after his "desert toppings" comment, and for some reason, Nemesis' willingness to eat dog biscuits makes me like him more. Best of all, Diana's inner monologue is no longer annoyingly repetitive. It still has a lot of problems. The pacing is off, and I really think Picoult is out of her depth in the medium. I think there's a lot of really interesting stuff going on that's not being served as well as it should be. Still, we've now got the reason why the Amazons are going to be attacking in the near future, which is something I'm looking forward to, and the reasons why Wonder Woman is wanted for questioning, even after being cleared in the World Court, is becoming clear. I do, however, wonder if Diana will be spending the next four issues being held captive by a Nick Fury wannabe and a bunch of Shield rejects.

Fables #60: This is more like it. You can just tell that some huge things are coming up. My heart breaks for Flycatcher, and I thought Ride was way too harsh on him, but I guess that was what he needed. It looks like a lot of interesting secrets are about to come out as well. I love the way Willingham turned around what was an amusing little subplot about Bufkin so that it ultimately is going to have a much bigger impact. That's the sort of thing that is what really makes this such a wonderful series. There's so much going on, and the characters are so rich that you never really know what seemingly minor thing could turn out to be something majorly important. Actually, the fact that we are now getting an entire arc about Flycatcher probably exemplifies that better than anything. Also, Beauty is a lousy interrogator, and I feel stupid because I never even thought of the fact that Frau Totenkinder is still killing kids in some way or another. She makes an interesting references to all her investments being legal though. I wonder what that's all about. I can tell already that this arc is going to be awesome.

The Loners #1: I picked this one up for a few reasons, the first being that I really enjoyed the appearance of Excelsior (now just a nameless support group for former teenage superheroes due to the fact that Stan Lee has a copyright on "Excelsior") in the first volume of Runaways. I thought it was a really great idea, and really did want to read more with those characters. Also, I have liked Moline's art since his work on Whedon's Fray, and Penance from Generation X is supposed to show up at some point. (That's the real Penance, not the former Speedball Penance, who has that crappy, emo, self-cutter costume with the no eye holes. Dumb.) Anyway, this is a really promising start. Moline's art is great, and I love the Breakfast Club inspired cover. The support group set up is a clever conceit to the fact that readers are going to need an re-introduction to a lot of these characters, and Cebulski is pretty adept at giving them little moments that help give a feel for their personalities. There's nothing earth shattering here, but it's entertaining, and despite the fact that it's about characters facing their demons and their pasts, has a nice, light tone. I do have some questions about the group's standing in light of the post-Civil War MU, and what happened to them since their Runaways appearance, since things seem markedly different than they were left off. It's only the first issue though, and there's time for all that, and ultimately, if the story's good, I don't know if I will care if those questions are answered or not. No Penance in this one though. (Why the hell hasn't Generation X been collected in trades yet?)

The New Avengers #29: You know who owns this issue? A friggin' lawyer, that's who owns this issue (and if you knew me, you would know how hard it is for me to say anything nice about a lawyer). Danny Rand's lawyer completely shuts down the Mighty Avengers in this issue. (Too bad the whole exchange just got me wondering why none of the superheroes who have outed secret identities but oppose registration haven't fought the law in the courts. Honestly, if they are going to expect me to view the current Marvel Universe as more like the real world, then I'm going to do just that. As far as most Marvel books go, I have no more suspension of disbelief.) Dr. Strange was fairly awesome too, just not as awesome as when he's being written by Brian K. Vaughn. Still, making all Mighty Avengers confront their worst fears is a nifty trick. I can't help but think that the fact that Iron Man's worst fear is a zombie Captain America is significant, and possibly foreshadowing something to come. There have been an awful lot of zombies at Marvel lately, and he is a futurist. Anyway, the Mighty Avengers eventually track the New Avengers down to Dr. Strange's place and that's when they decided to beat a hasty retreat to Japan and rescue the former Ronin. I assume that Jessica, the baby and Wong are back on the plane, because they couldn't have just left them in New York, though it's possible that one of them is the new Ronin. Am I the only one who thinks it would be cool if Wong were Ronin? Probably. There's also ninja stuff and Elektra's crotch. It's an OK issue. I'm still pissed about the whole Spider-Man thing I talked about last week, so that didn't really help my enjoyment. (ETA: Maybe Ronin is Zombie Cap. It could totally happen.)

Spider-Man and the Fantastic Four #1: I really liked this. Much like Parker's X-Men First Class series, it's just fun. Not surprisingly, it's either out of continuity, or set at some point in the past, because it is impossible to right a fun, exciting story with these characters actually acting like superheroes for a change in current continuity. The Spidey angst isn't of the extra strength variety. Mr. Fantastic isn't going on about the joys of McCarthyism. It's nice. Also, there are aliens, and Mr. Impossible, and a story that looks like its going to be pretty cool.

Hmmm...happy news? I think I'm going to hold on to that for now, since it's late and I want to go to bed, but look how pretty. (Well, modern Peter isn't pretty. He looks like he has a soul patch, and modern Mary Jane is pretty, but looks a little to much like Liv Tyler for my liking. Everything else is really pretty though.) I don't normally read Sensational Spider-Man, but I am excited to pick up this annual. I'm such a sucker for flashback stories.

I Wouldn't Count On That, Robert Downey, Jr.

I found this Robert Downey, Jr. quote talking about Iron Man from The Telegraph via CBR:

"He's a superhero who is just a man," says Downey. "Not that I wouldn't play a guy who got bit by a spider or who has some freaky connection with bats, but I think this is a little more accessible. I guess that when Stan Lee created the character back in the mid-1960s -- to see if he could base a superhero on a hard-partying, womanizing billionaire who manufactures weapons, and still make him likable enough to sell comic books -- he clearly won his bet. Tony Stark is someone who has the ability to be right at the forefront of science and we are finding out more and more nowadays that science and mythology are becoming somewhat interchangeable. Some of the things that seemed really far-fetched aren't any more." [emphasis added]

This just strikes me as funny, because those are Iron Man's likable traits. I bet Iron Man was a lot more fun when he was on the sauce. In theory, I always liked Tony Stark because of his potential to be a cool, Howard Hughes, minus the obsessive compulsive keeping his urine in a jar crazy, style superhero. There's fun to be had there. I just never found the execution all that interesting. I was (note the past tense) kind of looking forward to the movie because I thought we'd get to see some of that. So I guess Downey's right. Stan Lee did succeed. Then Mark Millar and Joe Quesada stepped in, but then, those guys clearly think any character assassination is a good idea.

(Seriously. Click on the link and read all about it. Then consider yourself lucky that you weren't subjected to the scan I saw last night, which constituted the first time I was learning about this comic. Remember the rumors from a while back that said Marvel was going to do a story revealing that Uncle Ben molested Peter? This isn't that bad. I think it's got "Sins Past" beat though. The sad thing is, a romance comic with the Dodsons on art is a good idea. The ick factor is just way too high here.)

The CBR link also includes the news on the latest superhero casting news. Edward Norton as Bruce Banner. I'm a little bit shocked by that, knowing how picky he is about his roles, but I can't say it isn't perfect casting. I'm one of the original film's few defenders, and I was disappointed that not only was this movie going to be another Marvel licensed project scripted by Zak Penn, who sucks, but also that Eric Bana wouldn't be returning. I think they may have actually traded up here though. This movie suddenly got promising.

Sadly, this bit of positive comic book movie news comes after the news that David Goyer plans on making a Green Arrow movie without Green Arrow. Not only does this sound like it could be a Steven Segal movie from the 90s with any old hero filling in for Green Arrow, but it's not going to have favorite thing about the character. No, not the bow and arrow, or the frequent need to call people fascists and fat cats. I'm talking about the goatee. It is mighty. Does Green Arrow even have any big villains that belong to him to even make this project interesting? The only plus side I can see to this is that, being set in a prison, the homoeroticism will be rampant. That's always amusing. But wouldn't a Green Lantern/Green Arrow Hard Travellin' Heroes type movie be just as effective in that regard?

I had previously heard that Warner Brothers was going to make a Green Arrow movie based on "Long Bow Hunters," which was going to have a more gritty, indie movie feel. The only thing I know about "Long Bow Hunters" is that Mike Grell Women in Refrigerator-ed Black Canary, which I'm not so keen on, but I thought more low budget take on the superhero genre would be really interesting. I was a little bit excited about that movie.

Scout Attacks! week 3: Iron Isn't Just His Suit, It's His Cross

Please tell me I don't have to explain that title. Sorry the reviews are late this time around, but I was doing other stuff. Also, I had to write them over the course of two nights.

Superman #660: I could have done without this issue. It was entertaining enough, but I certainly wouldn't have missed it if I had...uh...missed it. I didn't really like the art either. Also, the page where the Prankster dumped the money all over the city with his picture on it reminded me of the 1989 Batman movie. "I want my face on the $1 bill."

New Avengers #28: Luke Cage is awesome. Jessica Jones is even awesomer (it's totally a word). Even Wolverine knows this to be true. Speaking of whom, why is he even there? He's a mutant. This whole Registration Act thing doesn't apply to him. Dr. Strange is OK, but not nearly as awesome as he is in Brian K. Vaughn's Dr. Strange: the Oath. Spider-Woman is, sadly, kind of dumb in this issue, but I guess I can't blame her for wanting to believe her best friend. The pro-Regs pull the most despicable stunt to capture the New Avengers in this issue. Really. Explain to me how they are not evil. Also, the whole flashback to explain how they got out of America is still leaving a lot of questions unanswered. How did the New Avengers end up hanging out at Dr. Strange's house? How and why did Jessica Jones and the baby get back from Canada? Can someone explain to me, a person who is completely unfamiliar with Iron Fist, if this guy has a distinct personality? He traditionally hangs with Luke Cage, right? That means he has to be cool, but I'm not getting any sense of who he is here. Another problem is that despite the fact that black isn't just supposed to be Spider-Man's costume, it's his mood, he's being written exactly the same. I feel like he should be more angry. I don't mind the humor, because he's Spidey and he's going to mask the pain with humor. It's what he does, but I feel like that sense of anger should be coming across too. Also, where's MJ? I suppose she might be sitting at Aunt May's bedside (it would certainly be nice if someone were), but she's just as likely to get arrested as Peter is, if only as a way to get to Peter. I still think it would have been way better if, instead of this whole Aunt May getting shot thing, they did a story where Peter sent Aunt May and MJ to Canada to hang out with Jessica and the baby. I would have totally bought that Civil War tie-in mini series. It would have been like the Odd Couple, except with hot chicks instead of Tony Randall and Jack Klugman, a stern but loving Aunt character, and a baby. Hell, they should pitch that to NBC for a fall 2007 sit-com. My last little gripe is that, while I really like Leinil Yu's art, all his women look exactly the same. It doesn't help that three of them even have the same hair color. I think that an artists ability to draw distinctive looking women should be taken into account when choosing one for a team book, but then I guess Marvel would have to find new artists for both their Avengers titles.

52 Week 45: How pimpin' is that cover? JG Jones rocks! Is it just me, or does Bruno Manheim look like Josef Stalin? I should have scanned a picture and included it here, but I'm far too lazy. Just trust me. He looks like Josef Stalin. That just makes me think of the Josef Stalin from "The Tick vs. Arthur's Bank Account. "THUMBS UP FOR EVIL!" I hope at the end of 52, Manheim runs off with Tuun-La. This hasn't really been a review of the comic, has it? Oh well. I still say "Kill 'em all, Black Adam!"

Fables #28: I think this may have been one of my least favorite issues of Fables ever, not that that really means much, since I still really enjoyed it. It's just a bit underwhelming after that last, absolutely stellar, story arc. Also, sometimes I just feel like Bigby suffers a bit too much from Wolverine Syndrome. He's getting to be too cool. Too unbeatable. I think it's time for him to get his ass kicked, just so the readers don't get too secure in his supremacy at everything. I also think it's time for Snow to do something other than worry about Bigby and/or her cubs. (What? That's what they are.)

Wonder Woman #5: While I'm still pissed about how all the delays have screwed this book over, and that we're not getting the final part of the Heinberg/Dodson story, I'm really glad DCU manned up and gave us something here. I enjoyed the story quite a bit too. I know they're a comic book cliche, but I always enjoy stories about how a superhero can make a difference not just through their actions, but also through the example they set for others. If we are supposed to believe these characters are inspirational figures, then every once in a while that idea needs to be reaffirmed by actually showing them inspiring others. I loved seeing how Diana empowered those women. I'm a bit confused by the ending, since this was supposed to be a one-shot fill in story, but I like the moral complexity of the stories they are telling in this series. And we still got a Dodson cover, despite the fact that they didn't do the interior art. It's gorgeous.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season 8 #1: I'm going to try and post something a bit more in depth about this, so for now I will just leave it with my one word review: AWESOME!

Did you expect it to be anything else?

Civil War: The Confession: And now we return to the continuing adventures of Iron Fascist... I know I said I didn't want to ever buy another comic with him in it again, but I saw the preview pages for this and I wanted to see Captain America bitch him out. It made me very happy. Cap's characterization here was a bit too Ultimized, but I don't mind. Iron Fascist was being a total asshole. I do have to admit though, that when Bendis writes Tony Stark, I like him a lot more than in any of the other characterizations I have read during this whole thing. He's still the bad guy, but he's a sympathetic bad guy, like the way some authors write Magneto. He's wrong, but I get why he's doing it, and I can sympathize with what he must be feeling about this whole thing. (It's a good thing I read this before New Avengers though, because what him and the rest of the pro-Regs did in that issue really killed my sympathy.) Still, I'm sure the fact that Tony didn't take a drink through this whole thing would have been cold comfort to Cap, y'know, if Tony had mentioned it to Cap when he was alive. Something that did bother me was Iron Fascist's reiteration of Joe Quesada's standard party line that he knew he'd be the bad guy because everyone roots for the underdog. That's not why I think he's the bad guy. It's the Machiavellian tactics that make him the bad guy. Last I checked, heroes don't normally believe that the ends justify the means, and Tony admitting that it wasn't worth it now is completely meaningless unless he does something to make it right.

OK, as I do every week, I'd like to end on a positive note. X-Men First Class is going monthly in June! Believe it or not, this mini series has been my favorite X-book for the last few months. It's fun and refreshing, and it shows how wonderful those original characters were before crappy storylines ruined them. Jeff Parker won my heart when I read this article, where he said, "And frankly I want to show that Scott Summers is not a dick." (I know he's not a dick, Jeff, mostly because I pretend the Morrison run never happened. I'm pretty good at it too, until I see that Beast looks like a cat. Stupid Morrison!) Best of all, it has Marvel Girl! I miss Jean so much.

Scout Attacks! week 2: Just Because I Haven't Read It, Doesn't Mean I Don't Have an Opinion On It

It's that time of the week again, comic book reviews from my pull list. YAY! You're excited right? And after that, I've got some assorted other comments. It was a light week. So, let's get to it. I'll start with the big one...

Captain America #25: OK, so I didn't actually read this one. My comic book shop was sold out by the time I got there. I tried to avoid spoilers until I was able to get my hands on a copy, but that proved impossible. This is why I hate when comic book stuff gets mainstream media attention. All those people who give me weird looks on the train for reading comics start thinking that something is going to be worth money and they buy up my damn comic books and plaster the events all over CNN.com. Look people, he's coming back. Still, I'm going to go on record as saying it sucks. I know what you're going for Marvel. Death of liberty, blah, blah, blah. I know I've said this before, but it's worth repeating. This is not why I read superhero comics!

Mighty Avengers #1: I didn't read this one either. I was going back and forth on buying it. I really wanted to see the return of thought bubbles. Honestly. That was why I wanted to read it. I think thought bubbles are cool. If I ever write a comic book, it's going to have thought bubbles. Finally, after deciding that I was in fact going to buy it, after reading several good reviews, I was about to pick it off the rack and then I saw Iron Man. I don't think I will ever be able to read a comic with that guy in it again.

Justice League of America #6: Wow! It's hard to believe it's been six issues already. Let me rephrase that. It's hard to believe that so little actually happened in this whole six issue story line. What were there? Three issues of Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman sitting around a table gossiping about the other superheroes? It's not so much that I didn't enjoy it the storyline. I did. I just think it could have been told in three issues. As it is, for everything that happened, everything's back at zero, so the whole thing seemed kind of pointless anyway. I really felt sorry for Red Tornado though, so he at least has earned my good will for a while. I'm still not sold on the other characters, especially Vixen. She lost me in the first when she walked into a trap because The Question sent her a note and she though he wanted a date. That was just dumb. Since then she has mostly just confused me. I did appreciate that there was less of the characters calling eachother by their first names in this issue, but I think that was more for lack of characters actually addressing eachother. I wish Meltzer would cut back on the narration also. I hope he doesn't do that in his Buffy Season 8 storyline. I guess what I'm saying is that I'm fairly neutral on this book. I'll keep reading in the hopes for more cool Black Canary stuff.

Detective Comics #829: How come the fill in writer gets to break the stand alone story rule? Or did I miss something and did Dini finish his run? Anyway, this wasn't that great. I can't help but feel that stories like this are a bit misguided. It was OK though. The pacing was good and the tension pretty high. It was nice to know the context for Simone Bianchi's cover. Liquid explosives. Right. I never would have guessed that. It looks kind of...pornographic. Eh, that's pretty much the most interesting thing about this issue.

52 week 44: Page two and there's the half eaten corpse of the cripple kid. Nice. Then there's some really cool action. Well, first Sobek turns out to be one of those villains who won't shut up. Fortunately, Black Adam kills him. (were we supposed to feel bad for him when we saw the pain induced fear? Sense his humanity and therefore the wrongness of Black Adam killing him? Didn't work.) Then there's some really cool action. Black Adam takes out the Four Horsemen of Apokalips, but not before Isis gets taken out by Pestilence. I knew that was going to happen eventually, but I'm still disappointed. I really liked Isis. Anyway, before she dies, Isis reverses her anti-killing stance and tells Black Adam to avenge her and Osiris. Personally, I'm not one of those people who think that superheroes should be allowed to kill people, but when the bad guys are forming a crime based religion and are capable of starving out an entire country, then they go and kill Black Adam's newfound family, it's rather hard to argue against it. I'm totally on Black Adam's side in the upcoming World War III thing. I probably won't read it, but I'm still pulling for him. Kill 'em all, I say. Also, Rene Montoya gets handed The question mantle, but that's a foregone conclusion and not very interesting. Another amazing cover by JG Jones too. That's always worth pointing out.

I found this, which expresses something that I felt pretty strongly about from Civil War #7. I would just add that, coming after Tony Stark telling Maria Hill to get him coffee, I didn't take kindly to him calling (I can never remember this character's name) the mother of the kid who died at Stanford "sweetheart." It's jarring too, since it does seem so blatantly out of character for Tony. That doesn't make me hate him or this story, or Mark Millar's writing, any less though. I know I'm in the minority here, but I think Maria Hill is a great character. I don't like the things she does, or how she acts, but I think it was really interesting that she was a woman doing a man's job. She was acting the way she had too, and she didn't get any respect for it. The institutionalized sexism that she was up against was obvious, and I was disappointed that she willingly gave up her position in New Avengers #25. Now I think maybe it was Bendis' way of letting the character he created go out with some dignity. Too bad Millar took it away with one stupid line.

Newsarama has a report up on two panels from WonderCon: "Girls Kick Ass!" and "Gender and Genre." There was some pretty interesting stuff said, and I think Phil Jimenex especially made some interesting points. It makes me a bit upset that I have never read any of his stuff, especially on wonder Woman. That's what trades are for though, right?

Also from Newsarama, according to their report on the WonderCon '07: DCU: Great Expectations Panel, it looks like I am going to have to start reading Green Arrow soon, since Black Canary and Green Arrow are going to get engaged. I read somewhere else that the title of the book was going to change to Green Arrow and Black Canary, or something like that. I'm glad. Marvel should have done that for Storm when she married Black Panther. (Storm is the better known character, after all.) I just hope Judd Winick writes her well. He was at the "Girls Kick Ass!" panel, so I guess he at least cares about writing female characters well. Gail Simone mentioned in a recent interview that they asked her to co-write the series. That would have been awesome, but she didn't think she could do that and continue to write Birds of Prey. Obviously, someone needs to clone Gail Simone, or get some more women writing comic books. I'd be happy with either.

Also mentioned at that panel is Frank Miller's Holy Terror, Batman. They're actually letting him do his Batman vs. Osama Bin Laden story? Is Dan DiDio on crack? That was possibly the worst idea I had ever heard. (Well, it was the worst idea I had ever heard until Spider-Man: Reign #3 and Spidey's deadly sperm. Now the two ideas are duking it out for which is more offensive. Misogyny versus the degradation of the efforts of the men and women in America's armed forces. Who will win? It's tough to say, since Andrew Kaare threw the obvious image referencing of 9/11, but knowing Miller's penchant for making all women whores, it could go either way.) I'd like to think that comic book fans are better than that, and that they will avoid this like the plague. Then I remember that people are buying Spider-Man: Reign, All Star Batman and Robin the Boy Wonder, Civil War, and any number of insulting books. I can't begin to tell you how ashamed I am of my hobby lately.

Wizard has a story about Buffy Season 8, where they talk to the writers of the first three arcs (Whedon, Brian K. Vaughn and Jeph Loeb) where Jeph Loeb shares this bit of information: "There were times I enjoyed 'Angel' more than I enjoyed 'Buffy.' That may just be a male thing; sometimes Joss’ feminist manifesto would get to me, whereas 'Angel' was just a big rollicking detective show with great characters." And this is why I can't get any really great female characters in comic books, people. I think that what Whedon did with his representation of women was great, and a real step in the right direction, but I would hardly call it a "feminist manifesto." I'd be disappointed, but then I remember that he spent years writing Lana Lang on Smallville.

Finally, since I always like to end on a happy note. I am really excited about the upcoming Superman: Doomsday and New Frontier animated direct to DVD movies. (I'm tired of finding the appropriate links, so you'll have to do that yourself.) Bruce Timm's involved, so I really don't think I'm going to be disappointed about them either. It is going to be a bit weird to hear new voices out of all the characters, though. I'll especially miss Kevin Conroy as Batman and Clancy Brown as Lex Luthor, but I do find the voice casting that has been announced already very interesting. With Adam Baldwin as Superman, James Marsters as Lex Luthor and David Boreanaz as Hal Jordan, it's clear that Timm's love of the Whedonverse carries on. Now if we could just get Bruce Timm and Joss Whedon to work on a project together, it would be the best thing ever.

Scout Attacks! week 1: Iron Man Is Everywhere and He's Out to Get You

For a while now I have been meaning to do a weekly commentary on the comic books I read. It hasn't happened for a variety of reasons, the first being my extreme laziness and the second being that I haven't been reading my comic books in a timely fashion. All that is going to change now, so here it goes:

Wolverine #51: It is unbelievable how bad this crap is. No, wait. Bad isn't the right word. It's boring. Jeph Loeb has managed to craft the single most boring Wolverine story I have ever read, and considering the fact that Wolverine is in practically every book that Marvel publishes, that is saying something. I'd also like to point out that here Wolverine can remember a ton of details from an attack Sabertooth made on the X-Men that he wasn't even there for, but in the last issue he couldn't seem to recall that Sabertooth didn't actually rape and murder Silver Fox because it was an implanted memory. She turned up, alive and well, and with a big ol' chip on her shoulder (only to be killed again, naturally), a fact that took me less than five minutes to confirm. (Check it out.) This is actually worse than the stuff that had me originally stop reading this title. In retrospect, Wolverine's powers of total regeneration don't seem that bad. Simone Bianchi's art is awful pretty though. I will give this book that. It's just not pretty enough for me to want to pick up #52.

52 Week 43: Dude! Was that necessary? Really? It's not that this week wasn't good. It was very good. I had started reading 52 because The Question was going to be a major player in it, but Black Adam's story has really been one of the big reasons why I continued reading it. I had never even heard of Black Adam before Infinite Crisis, yet I have really invested in his character, and his new family, Isis and Osiris. Osiris' death has by far been the most impactful on me of all the many deaths there have been in this series, and that includes The Question, the only character I came into the series with and prior knowledge of or interest in. However, the fact that Osiris died is not what I have a problem with, nor do I have a problem with the manner of his death. The fact that he was betrayed by his best friend, coupled with the fact that he was such an honestly good person, was what made it so heartbreaking. And Sobek's reveal as Famine, the fourth Horseman of Apokalips, was, while extremely shocking, actually something that seems heavily foreshadowed in retrospect. though the writers cleverly masked that foreshadowing by making it seem like Sobek's perpetual hunger was merely part of his schtick as comic relief talking alligator. I have a problem with two pages of Sobek graphically chomping away at a cripple kid. Not cool guys. Not cool at all. Also, really, really gross.

Eternals #7: Storywise, this miniseries has been all over the place, but I thought Gaiman pulled it back together and made the whole thing worthwhile here at the end. I actually look forward to seeing some of these characters turn up in the future, especially Ikaris. It doesn't matter though. The real reason why this miniseries was worthwhile was John Romita Jr.'s art. Amazing stuff. Makkari speeding through the Deviants. Ikaris touching down for a landing. He captures movement so well. I'm not the type of person who normally gushes about art, because I know nothing about it, but it's hard not to notice when it's this good. My major complaint is that I could have done without the Tony Stark appearance. Must his smarmy ass show up everywhere?

Action Comics #846: That's a hell of a lot of Kryptonians. Anybody else getting the feeling that this is going to be awesome? I read this stuff, and I wonder why I never started reading Superman comics before. After all, I'm also reading Superman and Superman Confidential now and think they're pretty great too. Then I remember that I have picked up Superman comics at several points in the past and thought they were boring. Clearly what was lacking was Zod. I just hope Supes doesn't get out of the Phantom Zone by getting a cheesy looking crystal from a chick named Raya. (It's actually pretty interesting to me how closely a lot of these ideas are to the events of Smallville's season 5 finale and season 6 premiere, except with much better execution.) There's also some nice Lois, Clark and Christopher moments in there. I loved Lois telling Christopher that he couldn't meet Batman until he was 16 and Wonder Woman until he was 18. Considering she doesn't know the kid all that well yet, I think it best to hold off both meetings until he's 21. I'm still not hugely impressed with Adam Kubert's art on this series. It just doesn't seem like a good fit for Superman. Maybe if the Kuberts switched. Put Andy on Action and Adam on Batman. I don't know.

Doctor Strange the Oath #5: I had no idea Dr. Strange was this cool? Or did Brian K. Vaughn make him this cool? I mean, I always liked Dr. Strange, but he's completely awesome in this series. All the characters and the relationships between them were so fully realized. This series had everything I could want in a superhero comic book: fun, excitement, some really amazing visuals, friendship, romance, heroics, an interesting and well developed plot, nobody getting eaten or being a fascist or complete idiot, and best of all, no Iron Man. And again, I don't normally gush about art, but Marcos Martin is great. I will definitely be looking for titles with his name on them in the future. I read that BKV said at his NYCC panel that he was supposed to do another Dr. Strange mini, but it's not going to happen because Bendis is using the character now. (He's a member of the new New Avengers.) That sucks. Dr. Strange sits out Civil War only to join the underground resistance movement? Dumb. Dr. Strange hangs out with Night Nurse and Wong and is just an all around arrogant badass? Awesome. Which would you rather read?

Runaways #24: This series is not going to be the same without Vaughn and Alphona. Vaughn has a real gift for creating these characters' voices. As for Alphona, other artists have filled in for him, but it's never quite the same. They went out on a high note though. There were so many great moments, that it's hard to really single anything out, but Molly and Victor's version of the Fastball Special was certainly a highlight. I'm even going defend the appearance of Iron Man at the end, because as the current ultimate authority figure of the Marvel Universe, there's no one better to send our Runaways back on the run. I also appreciated what they did with Xavin in the last couple of issues. I was one of those readers who had a problem with the character and his relationship with Karolina, but what they have shown us in the last two issues is that Xavin's just another confused kid. I thought the panel of Xavin lying on the ground, long hair, skrull chin, Human Torch arm and Thing leg, with Molly, the voice of reader unease, finally giving him/her her acceptance was the perfect way to punctuate what they had to say about this character. And a gender confused superhero? That's progressive. Finally, I loved how the story was brought full circle with Nico threatening to rip one of the teammates heart's out if he ever betrayed them, the fight against the Gibborim, and, of course, Alex on the final page quoting Pat Benetar. Vaughn and Alphona are going to be missed, but at least Whedon is a worthy successor and the preview pages for #25 look awesome.

Civil War Frontline #11: If I ever buy a big event comic crossover again, I want someone to kick me in the head. Repeatedly. It will have the same effect and won't cost me as much money. I thought Civil War #7 was awful, with it's bad political analogies, mischaracterizations, and just generally terrible dialogue. (That letter from Reed to Sue may have been worse than the one from Sue to Reed. I'm pretty sure that, smartest man in the world or not, Reed is still a human and not a robot. And the exchange between Reed and Spidey? Reed: "Amazing!" Spidey: "Spectacular!" Me: Vomit!) This may have made it worse. Joe Quesada and Mark Millar both insist that Tony Stark was sincere in the last pages of that issue, to me, he came off as anything but. If sincerity was what Millar was going for, he did a piss poor job. At best he was smarmy and arrogant. At worst, he was a blatantly evil, misogynistic fascist. (And it totally seemed like he was trying to get in the grieving widow's pants.) I've read a couple of reviews for Frontline and a few of them held it up as an attempt to somewhat redeem Tony. I don't agree. While it certainly supported his sincerity, he's still the bad guy. After a ton of build up, we learn the not at all surprising truth that Tony Stark was the traitor. Apparently, Tony Stark manipulated events to start the Civil War, built a big ass prison for criminals in the Negative Zone, but used the non-registered heroes as his guinea pigs, and instigated a war with Atlantis in order to up the registration's ranks. That's in addition to sicking a bunch of psychopathic criminals on his friends and creating a cyborg clone of Thor who blew a freaking hole in Goliath. Then, Ben Urich and Sally Floyd applaud Tony for making the tough choices, isolating himself from his friends and allies through his unpopular actions, and just generally being a hero because he did it all for the greater good. Essentially, it's complete and utter bullshit. Circumventing democracy and using Machiavellian tactics, even if it is with the best of intentions, does not make him a hero. It makes him a dictator.

Don't even get me started on Sally Floyd and her tirade at Captain America that he's out of touch with the American people because he doesn't know what MySpace is or who won the last American Idol. Do even the most shallow and ill-informed people really think that NASCAR is relevant to society as a whole, and if they do, are those really the people we want to be conforming our entire society to? People who make arguments that people are ill-qualified to make a political, moral or societal judgments because they aren't up to date on the latest pop culture phenomena should be beaten with sticks. And that's coming from someone who maintains a blog dedicated to popular culture proudly entitled "These Things Matter." Ben Urich is no better. A character I used to like and respect, who is supposedly a legitimate journalist, is willing to just sweep all of this under the rug. The worst part of all of this is that the Registration Act isn't actually solving anything. Bad guys are still going to attack. Cities are still going to get destroyed in the ensuing battle. Nothing is actually going to change because if any of Tony Stark, Reed Richards and Hank Pym's 100 ideas actually prove effective, there won't be any more stories to tell. It's idiotic and contrived. This is the worst kind of story telling and Millar and Quesada, and the other yahoos at Marvel actually think they have put something into the world that makes a statement about our society, and there may be people out there who believe that, but i can't believe that any of those people actually have any real understanding at all about the post-9/11 political climate. (Honestly, reading all of this has had me mentally defending the Bush administration and the Patriot Act as not being as bad as the policies the Pro-Reg side is enacting. I really don't like having to do that.) All they have accomplished is turning several key superheroes into irredeemable fascists and made every single person who read this piece of crap a little poorer of mind and a lot poorer of wallet.

Between this and Spider-Man: Reign #3, I've actually been thinking about giving up Marvel comics. It's not that Civil War was deeply offensive (like Reign was). It was just really bad, and if this is what is setting up the new status quo for the MU, I don't really know that I want to stick around for that. It's like all the changes they're making to Spidey. Everything's going to be so interconnected now too, that it's going to make it harder to be sellective in my reading. I'm already dropping my last X-Men title as soon as Astonishing ends. I haven't decided yet about New Avengers, but that will largely depend on whether I'm going to continue to read any Spider-Man books after "One Day More." It's hard to imagine me ever giving up Amazing Spider-Man, but right now it's looking likely that that will happen. I'm with Runaways for the long haul, even beyond Whedon's issues if they get a good writer and artist on it; I'll definitely read Young Avengers if that ever comes back; unless they kill off Steve Rodgers, I'll probably stick with Captain America as long as Brubacker does (though it seems like all this Civil War stuff is going to derail the really interesting stuff he was developing prior to all this); but they are going to have to tell some seriously good stories to keep me interested. This just isn't why I read superhero comics. I'll tell you one thing for sure though. I'm not looking forward to the Iron Man movie at all anymore. I'm totally sick of that guy.

Well, my rant is over. How about something more cheerful. I am seriously psyched about the announcement that there is going to be a new Spider-Man cartoon. I'm just bummed that I have to wait until 2008. Also, I hope it doesn't look like the Fantastic Four cartoon that's on the Cartoon Network.or that Iron Man animated movie. Hand drawn animation please.