Not the Barry Manilow Song

I watched Daybreak, the Lost fill-in show on ABC, o Wednesday. It was OK, but I couldn't shake this feeling of familiarity, and it wasn't just because of the premise. Shouldn't this have been a Denzel Washington movie? Maybe Taye Diggs is making a bid at being Denzel-lite: the TV version. He's good looking enough, but he's going to have to start showing off some of that charisma that made an utterly generic show like Kevin Hill watchable for a full season.

Also, the show is completely wasting the considerable talents of Adam Baldwin. I sincerely hope that they put him to better use in the coming weeks, especially since the mere fact that he is on the show is going to keep me watching for its entire run.

Spider-Man 3 Trailer Thoughts

OK, there was a lot going on in this, and I am all excited and worried and this is going to be rambly and, well, here it goes...

Flint Marko did not kill Ben Parker. That's just wrong, and it smacks of John Byrne style revisionism and I don't think I like it. OK, now that I've gotten that over with, I can get on with everything else.

I had thought we were going to get a glimpse of Venom in this one, but if we did, I missed it. However, we did get a look Harry going all Green Goblin-lite and trying to get revenge on Spidey. I'm kind of glad he didn't actually become the Green Goblin with the suit and all. I had no desire to see that particular costume again. James Franco is so great as Harry Osborn, and I think that whole subplot will be amazing. I know it happened the comics, but I hope they don't kill him off. I guess that's exactly why they should kill him off though.

There was plenty of Sandman in the trailer, and aside from what I mentioned up top, it looked great. Thomas Haden Church looks perfect, and while I am happy about the aforementioned revisionism, I think the character stuff for Peter will be amazing. I'm still disappointed about how they are depicting the symbiote from what we have seen so far. It was much cooler in the comics, but maybe this is just part of the restrictions of live action. I don't know, and we still don't even have a hint of why the symbiote wants to bond with Peter.

Kirsten Dunst still sucks, but at least she didn't seem all passive aggressive, which I suppose is a side effect of being in on the whole Peter Parker is Spider-Man thing. I guess I still hold out hope that, while we can't stop Kirsten Dunst from being awful, the writing will start making the character resemble the Mary Jane we currently have in the comics (since we can't go back and re-do the whole evolution of the character). I love Mary Jane almost as much as I love Spidey and I just want her to be awesome. The addition of Gwen Stacy actually makes me wonder about Mary Jane's fate. I think she's either being introduced just to be killed off, or she's being introduced as a replacement love interest in case Kirsten Dunst doesn't want to do any more movies. As much as I don't like the films' portrayal of Mary Jane or Kirsten Dunst in the role, I think I would hate the latter option even more. What can I say? I've loved Mary Jane since I was a little girl and Gwen Stacy was just way too prone to hysterics for my taste.

Uh, I don't know. I've only watched it once so far. I'm sure I will have more thoughts after I have watched it a dozen more times. There's going to be so much going on in this one. It makes me nervous, especially after the X3 debacle.

Wanna See Something Really Scary?

Do you know what character I think would make for a really scary Halloween costume?

Jessica Fletcher.

I'm serious. That old broad brought death and destruction everywhere she went. At first, her evil was contained to the sleepy New England town of Cabot Cove, but eventually she ran out of people to kill there. (Eventually word had to get around of what was going on, and once that happened, not even the best tourism board in the world could keep up the influx of has-been, B-list, elderly celebrities who regularly made trips to the town.) The Angel of death spread out, bringing death to the streets of New York, and even plaguing Magnum PI on at least one occasion. The worst part is, no one ever caught on to her game. Jessica Fletcher continued her killing spree beyond the confines of her show and into several television movies.

How Come the Stripper Doesn't Get to Be an X-Man?

Now that we have met Nikki's husband, on last night's episode of Heroes, I'm a little upset that she's not a Colossus rip off since he's the Kitty Pryde of the show. (He should have tried phasing a baseball bat through Nikki's head. That's apparently how Kitty would deal with a betraying spouse.) My big revelation from last night was actually that Nikki seems to be a take off on The Sentry, what with the multiple personalities and all, though her powers aren't as close to those of The Sentry as the other characters are to their corresponding X-Men characters. Maybe I am missing someone and there is an X-Man with a super strong alternate personality.

The other big non-surprise of the night was that Mohinder's annoying neighbor s orkin for Claire's dad. That was so obvious.

The past couple of weeks haven't been as good as the previous episodes, but I am by no means disappointed. This show rocks. Also, November sweeps will have started by next week, so I am expecting things to really amp up, because that is what happens during sweeps.

Where the Hell is Jesus on This Thing Anyway?

A few authors got together and wrote this book of the 101 Most Influential People Who Never Lived. It's a list of the most influential fictional characters ever.

I haven't read the book, so I can't judge the authors' reasoning, but the list seems a bit wonky to me. For one, no matter what my personal opinions of the characters, I do think Superman (#64) has been more influential than Buffy the Vampire Slayer (#44) and Batman (#60). Is Buffy even old enough to really judge it's level of influence? Also, so many of these characters feed off the other characters on the list, or off of characters that don't even make the list. Isn't it a bit redundant to have both King Arthur and Luke Skywalker on there. Since Luke is more clearly derivative of traditional allegorical figures, wouldn't Han Solo be the more influential character since you can't throw a stone in the sci fi world without hitting one of his clones.

As for characters that were influenced by characters that didn't make the list, Batman borrowed a lot from The Shadow, so where's he? If you're going to include superheroes, where's Spider-Man, a character that, while definitely drawing upon and reacting to what came before him, turned that stuff on it's head? And I daresay Buffy would not exist if Peter Parker hadn't existed first.

Furthermore, I can not think of a single reason why the Marlboro Man came in at #1, especially when they have Joe Camel selling the smoking image at #78 and the American Cowboy selling the Western hard-man image at #19. Isn't the Marlboro Man just a derivation of the American Cowboy used to sell cigarettes. I won't even go into the irony that the Marlboro Man was developed as a way to start marketing a brand to men after the release of milder cigarettes with filters became preferred among the women the brand originally targeted. Essentially, the Marlboro Man is the result of a corporate sex change.

I can't really comment on the more literary and mythological figures. I will just trust that they deserve their ranking.

"Welcome Wagon"

Veronica Mars is back! Finally!

The premier was so good, better than the season 2 premier. We met a few new characters, like Parker and Piz. I can already see how the Neptune sheriff's department is going to handle the rape investigation, because, as we know, Lamb is a complete ass and will surely hold Parker's sexual history against her. I immediately liked Piz. He is adorable and is clearly going to come between Veronica and Logan. The fact that he is so immediately lovable also makes him immediately suspicious. He can't be the Hearst rapist, because he wasn't at Hearst last year, but mark my words, by the end of the season I am sure we will find out something really bad about him. After Beaver Casablancas, I don't trust anyone.

I will also go on record right now as saying that I do not think Dick is the Hearst rapist. (He is an eligible suspect because while he wasn't at Hearst last year, he was in Neptune.) After that ending, it would be far too obvious. I do wonder what he did though. Also, I think that Logan's friendship with Dick will come between he and Veronica also. As much of an idiot as Dick is, he stood by Logan through everything. Logan's not likely to forget about that, and Veronica isn't likely to cut Dick much slack if she suspects him of something.

Fun Fact: The criminology professor, who Veronica's classmate was drooling over, was also the hot anthropology professor on Saved By the Bell: the College Years. By the way, how funny is it that Veronica is taking an introductory criminology class? I'm guessing she'll do well.

Finally, I was so happy to see some of my favorite recurring characters get bumped up to regular status this season. I'm looking forward to seeing more of Tina Majorino (Mac) and Michael Muhney (Lamb) this season. Unfortunately, I am not digging the new credits. I get slowing down the theme song (again) to accommodate the ever expanding cast, but I really miss the sketches. I guess I will just start fast forwarding through the credits now. Eh, whatever, my favorite show is back. Woo hoo! I can't wait to see what happens next.

Astonishing X-Men #17

(I hate when I can't think of more interesting titles for my blog entries.)

OK, that post about Heroes was a brief respite from the recent theme of this blog, but really, we must be getting back to the Joss Whedon gushing. I've actually been meaning to do some gushing on this topic for almost a week. That's right, it's time to throw some praise on Astonishing X-Men #17. Did you read this thing? It was amazing. Up to this point, #14 had been my favorite of this arc. Then issue #16 comes out and it's a pretty dead heat. (That issue did teach us just how badass Kitty's powers can be, after all.) Now #17 comes along and blows away, not only every other issue in this arc, but possibly of the entire series to date. So now I give you random bits of Astonishing X-Men #17 love:

• Kitty Pryde continues to be my new favorite character - I thank god that she's on the side of the angels, 'cause that thing with the pipe in the head was scary
  
• Victorian child Logan
• The end of Victorian child Logan - apparently beer is his spinach, which is just priceless
• Whedon and Cassaday fucking pulled focus in a comic book. Unbelievable
• Lockheed: WTF? That's just...really unexpected
• Cassandra Nova is the scariest looking old bald lady ever
• Cyclops: badass!
• the cover

I also have a question. What is Teenage Negasonic Warhead's power, besides having the coolest name ever? Have I just completely forgotten seeing her use it? I'm going to have to go through the past issues and check that out. I hope I don't have to pull out my E is for Extinction trade paperback, because I have no idea where it is. While I'm at the question asking, why does Scott have a gun?

Honestly, I just can't say enough good things about Whedon, Cassaday, and the whole team on this book. I had forgotten why I once loved the X-Men, and while I have recently decided to give Uncanny and adjectiveless X-Men another chance, and am finding that I mostly enjoy those titles, it's such a joy to be able to just pick up and read an X-Men title without having to worry about whether I am caught up on all the crap baggage that normally comes with reading an X-Men title. With Astonishing I can just enjoy the story and the characters. I can't wait to see how Whedon is going to wrap "Torn" up in the next issue. There are so many balls in the air. We have two Emmas, Ord, Danger, Cassandra Nova's psyche (which was just all kinds of ewww), Teenage Negasonic Warhead (I just like the name), and whatever Emma did to Cyclops' powers. I can only imagine some of that stuff is going to carry over into the next arc, because surely not even Whedon and Cassaday can cram that all into one issue.

On a non-X-Men, but still comic books related note, is anyone reading and Sensational Spider-Man and Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man? I had given both titles up for being completely sucktastic, but now I feel like I'm missing out on stuff. I'm still not sure I am happy about the events of Civil War with regard to Spidey, but I can't deny that it has put Amazing Spider-Man back at the top of my pile of books to read whenever it comes out. JMS is just handling it incredibly well. (The fact that it gets us away from crap like "Sins Past" and "The Other" doesn't hurt at all.) Have the other two books experienced the same bumps in quality?

Shows Named After Bowie Songs Rock

First of all, I have to admit that I am already a bit confused by Heroes. I felt a bit like I started watching it halfway through. However, I am more than willing to go along for the ride and try to make sense of everything that is going on. I thought the premier was fantastic. My favorite character so far is Hiro. He quotes Star Trek, references the X-Men (and Kitty Pryde no less), and you just can't beat the pure unadulterated joy he feels about being superpowered. Conversely, the cheerleader from Texas (I think) really annoyed me, but I am going to cut her some slack for now because her mom is weird and her dad is clearly evil. The character I was expecting to hate but actually kind of liked was the guy played by Milo Ventimiglia (the nurse who thinks he can fly). The press painted him as some whining, mopey youth and he really wasn't. He was just a guy trying to make sense of his place in the world, which I think makes him very identifiable. Sure he was a bit broody, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Some of my favorite characters brood. The storylines I am finding most intriguing write now is the internet stripper and how she did what she did (it was awfully messy), not to mention what the hell is up with her reflection, and the Indian geneticist, because he obviously has some of the answers.

Next week we get to see Greg Grunberg. YAY! I love him and I hope that this role really gives him a chance to shine. He deserves it. Also, I just found out that Tim Sale is doing the heroin addict psychic's art, so keep an eye out for that because Tim Sale is amazing.

(I posted the answers to the Buffy trivia questions in the comments, so if you're interested, go check that out.)

Buffy Sing-A-Long

I know this is several days later than I said it would be, but look! I have visual aids! Those are the "instructions" for the audience participation. I was going to type them out until I remember I've had a scanner since February that I have never used and that Blogspot has a nifty little photo insert feture that makes it really easy. This is a momentous event. I posted my first picture on this blog. Look forward to many more in the future...or not. The fact that I now how to do it now doesn't really preclude my laziness. Anyway, on to my account of the Buffy Sing-A-Long...

My friend and I arrived at the IFC Center at around a quarter after 11PM and there was already a really long line of people waiting to get in. Soon after we arrived, the line became much longer. All the tickets sold out in advance of the show and there were actually people going up and down the line offering a minimum of $20 for the $10.75 tickets.

Inside, the theater was small and very crowded. The organizer, a thirty-something, heavy set man dressed like a watcher, was selling paper bags with the various items that would be used during the show for $2. Some of the bags were "special challenge" bags, meaning that there were some extra things that the people who chose those bags would have to do. My friend and I didn't take those bags because we didn't want to be made to do anything we didn't know about in advance. Next time I am so going to take one of those bags.

Before the show, there were a couple of competitions, or whatever you want to call them. First up was a Spike line reading competition, followed by an Anya line reading competition where three people were chosen to read a line in the manner of the character with the winner being chosenby the audience applause. The Spike line used was from "Tabula Rasa," when an amnesiac Spike realized he was British: "You english men are always so... bloody hell! Sodding, blimey, shagging, knickers, bollocks. Oh god.. I'm english." The Anya quote was from her seduction of Xander in "Harsh Light of Day": "I like you. You're funny and you're nicely shaped. And, frankly, it's ludicrous to have these interlocking bodies and not... interlock. Please remove your clothing now."

After that was Buffy-oke where three sets of people were chosen to act out a scene karaoke style. For this competition, the organizer chose the scene from the season 2 episode "Innocence" where Buffy went to go find Angel in his apartment the day after they had sex not knowing that Angel was now Angelus. He chose it because, in his opinion, it was the most heart breaking scene in the history of the show (and I agree that it deffinitely ranks near the top of the list) and because "a dulcet choir of pretty little birdies" was one of the best lines ever. While the other two competitions were entertaining, this one was especially hilarious, especially because two of the pairs chosen were same sex, one made up of two women, the other of two men. It was the mixed gender pair that one though, since they were by far the best actors.

Then they showed the musical, "Once More With Feeling." Finally. This was so much fun. I, of course, did not need the subtitles to know the lyrics to any of the songs. They are indelibly etched on my brain from numerous home viewings of the episode and countless hours spent listening to the soundtrack. Anyway, everyone sang and cheered and waved their little monster finger puppets around. During "They Got the Mustard Out," some of the people with special challenge bags had to get up on stage to dance around with dry cleaning bags. During "Walk Through the Fire," other people with special challenge bags had to throw around red streamers. Unfortunately, neither my champaign popper nor my kazoo worked. My odd vampire mouth noismaker did though.

After the show, they showed the unaired half hour production pilot, which I had seen in college when it was making its rounds on the internet, but that was several years ago. It was very bad, and there was the "very bad, terrible, wrong Willow" (an actress named Rif Reagan, not Allyson Hannigan, played Willow in the production pilot and she could not act at all), but all the seeds for what would become an amazing show were there. Having just watched the two hour premier, "Welcome to the Hellmouth" and "Harvest," on Sunday I can say that the production pilot may not have had the production values, or the Willow, of the final product, but the humor, charm, and originality were all present. Thank god the WB had the foresight to see past the low-budget to see the brilliant concept.

Well, that's it. Hopefully, this will become a widespread phenomenon and everyone will get to enjoy it in their own cities. The IFC Center already has another Buffy Sing-A-Long weekend planned for November. I'm going to finish up by posting the questions from the Buffy Trivia Challenge that was also in the goody bag. If you reply to this entry with your answers, I will post a reply with the correct answers in a few days.

1. Name the Broadway musicalthat launched Hilton Battle's career. (hint: It was made into a 1978 film staring Diana Ross)

2. Name one of the songs sung by Giles on BTVS before the musical episode.

3. In which episode does Anya forst reference her fear of bunnies?

4. "Respect the cruller and tame the doughnut!" is a reference to what movie?

5. What pop singer was going to provide Buffy's singing voice before SMG decided she needed to do it herself?

6. Which season 7 episode features a flashback sequence with another musical number from Anya?

7. Who is the only character to appear in the original Buffy production pilot and the series finale of Angel?

Farewell, Old Friend

I fully intended to post an update about the awesome Buffy Sing-A-Long I wet to last night, but I think there is something I bit more pressing and monumentous that I should address first. Today marks the final day of programming for the WB before it becomes the CW. To honor the event, The WB aired "A Night of Favorites and Farewells," including the series premieres of Felicity, Angel, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Dawson's Creek. Naturally, I felt obligated to tune in for the networks final five hours.

I thought the shows that they chose to show were very interesting. All were shows that have been of the air for a few years, and while Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Dawson's Creek were both flagships that helped define the network, none were the huge rating successes along the lines of 7th Heaven and Smallville. Felicity and Angel never even seemed to be all that appreciated by the network when they originally aired. That said, I do think that these shows, along with the aforementioned 7th Heaven, will be what the WB is remembered for. And I think the reason for choosing these shows was to showcase the talented young creators (J.J. Abrahms, Joss Whedon and Kevin Williamson specifically) that were given their start by the network.

Over the years, I have bitched about the network's handling of shows, meddling, fostering of the likes Joey Potter and Lana Lang as positive female characters, the overemphasis they place on the hair length of their stars, and the continued existence of 7th Heaven, but there really was a lot of good there. After all, The WB gave Buffy the Vampire Slayer a chance when no other network would (for that alone I can forgive almost all sins). They also gave us Gilmore Girls and four wonderful seasons of Everwood, one of the most intelligent and interesting family dramas ever. Many of the actors and actresses have gone on to bigger and better things as well. Who would have ever expected Jaime Fox to go on to win an Oscar?

I also loved that their final five hours of programming included showing some of the old WB ads, which were always entertaining, if completely bizarre. I especially liked the "Watch the Frog" campaign, which is hard to explain. Essentially, two of the network's stars would be engaged in a supposedly candid conversation (two that were aired tonight featured Michael Rosenbaum talking to Tom Welling about padded bras and Kristin Kreuk and some actress I did not recognize talking about how going to couple's counseling is easier than going through all the work of a break up) and then happening upon Michigan J. Frog, the network's former mascot, and one of them saying "Watch the frog," presumably before the other actor or actress stepped on him. Like I said, the ad campaigns were bizarre. They also re-aired a series of ads that featured James Vander Beek and Scott Foley on a road trip. There were also montages of the bumps featuring all the actors and actresses throughout the years. Say what you will about the talent level of most of the shows, but you can't deny that they were among the most attractive people to ever grace television screens (well, aside from Vander Beek).

Think of me what you will, but most of the shows I watched since the start of the WB have been WB shows. They were very much the pop culture touchstones of my generation since the beginning. I don't know if the CW can really live up to that legacy. Their line up barely features much new programming, let alone anything innovative, and it seems much more focused on reaching out to advertisers than gaining a following with young viewers by providing an alternative programming to the other networks. Veronica Mars is the only risky show they have in their line up and it's going into it's third season. It's a bit depressing really, since burgeoning networks have in the past built themselves up on shows like The X-Files and Buffy the Vampire Slayer before they went all corporate. However, like the WB before it, the CW will be showing the majority of the shows I will be watching.

Tomorrow: the Buffy Sing-A-Long, a.k.a. the geekiest thing I have ever been a part of.

Best. News. Ever.

Joss Whedon is going to take over writing Runaways after Brian K. Vaughn leaves. I had actually hoped this would happen, which is what kept me from being completely devastated when I heard that BKV and Adrian Alphona were leaving the book after issue # 24. This is just so cool. I read about it late last night and I got entirely too happy. What can I say? I am a total Joss Whedon fangirl. I would not have even discovered Runaways if it wasn't for him since I had never heard of the title until I read that it was Whedon's favorite.

Joss, of course, has some interesting and entertaining stuff to say about taking over the titles. He also made some comments over at Whedonesque.com (scroll down and you'll find all three). This is what a big fangirl I am. Even Whedon talking about Runaways delights and entertains me, but when he's joking about jockeys hitting eachother with baseball bats, putting Molly on Planet Hulk, and how he's going to kill half the team, it's hard not to love the guy. Also, putting Molly on Planet Hulk isn't such a bad idea, though I'd rather see her beat up Wolverine. (But Whedon's got Wolvie acting all Victorian and wussy over in Astonishing X-Men, so I'm happy for now.) I'm excited about putting the Runaways on the run again too. This is going to be so cool, and anyone who isn't reading this book should deffinitely catch themselves up by next April so that everyone can share in my joy.

In unrelated, but still comic booky news, I think I may have found the very first Manga title that I am interested in checking out. Return to Labyrinth sounds pretty cool, and I would really love to know if the Goblin King can possibly be as cool in print as he was when brought to life by David Bowie. I have no idea if the too tight pants, crazy big hair, and disturbingly sexual nature of his performance can be captured on the page, but I really want to find out. I suspect it will involve a lot of inappropriate, yet essentially harmless touching.

More Fun With Lists

The whole not including cartoon characters or puppets rule really made compiling the list of my favorite television characters tough, so I've decided that I needed to make a list just for them. For this list, I ignored the rule about having to be a regular character, because that would have eliminated some awesome characters that just could not be ignored. All the characters did have to come from series though, not movies or specials. Sorry, still no Barney Rubble.

As always, this list is in random order.

1. Buffy the Vampire Salyer

OK. Fine. She never actually made it into cartoon form, but it would have been awesome. I'll start over now.

1. Spider-Man
2. Winnie the Pooh
3. Grover
4. The Tick (the only character to make both lists - unless you count Buffy)
5. Gonzo the Great
6. She-Ra
7. The Question
8. Harley Quinn (the most adorable psychopath ever)
9. Lex Luthor (nothing but love for the Super Friends version, but I'm talking Timmverse all the way)
10. The Flash (again, Timmverse)
11. Kermit the Frog
12. Cyclops (included not because he was ever in a very good cartoon, but because I first became aware of him through a cartoon, and that deserves acknowledgement)
13. Brak
14. Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law
15. Brock Samson
16. Homer Simpson
17. Firestar
18. Iceman
19. Ms. Lion

Hehe...Just kidding...

19. Optimus Prime
20. Bumblebee
21. Skeletor
22. Snuffleupagus
23. Oscar the Grouch
24. Snoopy
25. Charlie Brown
(I figure there are enough Peanuts specials out there for it to be considered a regular sort of thing and therefore they can make my list.)

You know what? I don't actually think that's a great list. I bet if I limited it just to a top 10, it would be a really strong list. Maybe I should have just done a list of my top 10 JLU characters. Whatever. I'm leaving it the way it is.

Fun With Lists

A of at Whedonesque.com directed me to James Gunn's blog and I realized two things: 1) James Gunn is very cool, both as a person and as the director of the Dawn of the Dead remake, and 2) this blog needs more lists. So, in that spirit, I am going to list my 25 favorite characters, just like James Gunn did. Later I might even take another page from Mr. Gunn's book and list 100 things I love and 100 things I hate. Anyway, a note before I begin, unlike James Gunn and Joss Whedon's lists, Whedonverse characters will be all over this motherfucker. However, I will try to stick to the rules of not including any puppets or cartoon characters (making it a very difficult list to compile) and to only include characters that are regulars on the show.

Now on to the list of my 25 favorite television characters, presented in no particular order:

1) Buffy Summers (Sarah Michelle Gellar, Buffy the Vampire Slayer) - OK, this one actually is in order, since she is deffinitely my favorite television character ever.

2) Jack Bristow (Victor Garber, Alias)

3) Sydney Bristow (Jennifer Garner, Alias)

4) Veronica Mars (Kristen Bell, Veronica Mars)

5) Malcolm Reynolds (Nathan Fillion, Firefly) - James Gunn may have left him off but I sure as hell wasn't going to.

6) Wonder Woman (Lynda Carter, Wonder Woman)

7) Jayne Cobb (Adam Baldwin, Firefly)

8) Brother Justin (Clancy Brown, Carnivale) - the rules say no cartoon characters, but Clancy Brown had to be represented, even if not as Lex Luthor

9) Agent Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan, Twin Peaks)

10) Spike (James Marsters, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel)

11) Spock (Leonard Nimoy, Star Trek)

12) Bill Haverchuck (Martin Starr, Freaks and Geeks)

13) The Tick (Patrick Warburton, The Tick) - Thank god there was a live action version

14) Captain Kirk (William Shatner, Star Trek) - Shatner's Roast is on right now and I realized that there is no way the greatest Star Trek captain does not make my list

15) House (Hugh Laurie, House)

16) Buster Bluth (Tony Hale, Arrested Development)

17) Gob Bluth (Will Arnett, Arrested Development)

18) Willow Rosenberg (Alyson Hannigan, Arrested Development)

19) Rob Petrie (Dick Van Dyke, The Dick Van Dyke Show)

20) Dr. Bob Hartley (Bob Newhart, The Bob Newhart Show)

21) Wesley Wyndham Price (Alexis Denisof, Angel)

22) David Brent (Ricky Gervais, The Office UK)

23) Stephen Colbert (The Colbert Report)

24) Aeryn Sun (Claudia Black, Farscape)

25) Timmy(Josh Ryan Evans, Passions)

Man, that list was so hard to come up with. I didn't think I could make it to 25 without cartoon characters, but now that I'm done I feel like I left people out. Oh well, I'm sticking with it. Who do you think I should have put on the list?

From the Man Who Made Ninjas Boring...

Marvel needs to stop hiring Zak Penn to write everything because he fucking sucks. I couldn't even watch Elektra, and I think I have made my feelings about X3 perfectly clear.

At least he's not writing Captain America, so I can have hope for that. I think I am going to write a letter to David Self and ask him to include Cap's "Do you think this A stands for France?" line from Ultimates. As I have mentioned before, I really want to hear that line in the movie. It just says it all.

Finally, do you think Hank Pym is going to beat his wife in Ant-Man movie?

Embarrassing Admission of the Day

I am actually looking forward to watching Gene Simmons Family Jewels tonight. I'm the first to admit that the world doesn't need any more reality shows, especially not of the kind where some celebrity puts himself and his loved ones on display for cash, an image change, or some desperately needed exposure. I'm sure this show is an attempt by Simmons to return to the spotlight and appeal to a new audience, much like The Osbournes did for Ozzy. (Eventually, KISS is going to have to make good on those retirement claims.) That's actually the main reason for my emabarrasment. Nothing Simmons ever does seems to have a motivation other than profit and self-aggrandizement. A reporter recently asked him if he was worried that the show would hurt his image, and therefore his future earnings. Simmons responded by saying that it might, but he already had enough money. I have to wonder how much money he's still making off that image now anyway. The KISS Army is there, and I don't think anything he does is going to lessen there willingness to buy anything he slaps a picture of his giant tongue on, but I don't think that image is really pulling in the kind of profit it used to.

The clips I have seen look pretty amusing though, and you know that Simmons' ego, which is bigger than his platform boots, isn't going to be able to remain intact with teenager children. Seeing him get taken down a few pegs just by being in a domestic setting. (I saw Being Mick. Even Jagger doesn't get to play rock god with his family.) However, I mostly think this show is going to be interesting because the Simmons Family, while unconventional, seems pretty functional. That alone sets it apart from other shows of its kind. I remember some conservatives complaining about The Osbournes, but they should be far more concerned about a show like this. Here we have a rock star and a former playmate who have never wed and aren't even monogymous raising two well adjusted, intelligent and apparently very un-Osbourne-like children. That's pretty subversive stuff when you think about it.

On a somewhat related topic, the newest Entertainment Weekly had a small feature on Gene Simmons' past television roles. While that was amusing, and I welcome any mention of KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park and the bizarre casting choice for Ace Frehley's body double (too bad they didn't work in a mention the fact that that wasn't even Peter Criss' voice), it's a shame it was limited to television. I can't be the only person who wants to talk about Wanted: Dead or Alive, where Rutger Hauer memorably shoved a live grenade in Gene Simmons' mouth. That was good stuff right there. Man I miss the 80s.

By the way, if you didn't figure it out, this whole post was just a flimsy excuse to mention an almost twenty-year-old Rutger Hauer movie. Why would I do such a thing? Because I am at work and have nothing to do and no supervision, thereby eliminating the need to pretend like I am doing work. Also, it's always a good time to mention Rutger Hauer. I would do a whole blog entry on him, but quite frankly I can't remember much about his films besides little details like shoving a grenade in Gene Simmons' mouth. Good times.

Sadly, Cesar Romero Has Not Been Resurrected to Reprise His Role as the Joker

After rumors swirling around for a wile now, it has finally been confirmed that Heath Ledger will play the Joker in the Batman Begins sequel to be titled The Dark Knight. I won't lie. I think casting the Aussie as the classic Batman villain is as weird as everyone else does. It's not that I don't think he can act. I have always believed him to be a bundle of untapped talent and charisma just waiting for the right roles, and while Brokeback Mountain* still sits on my desk in its Netflix envelope waiting to be watched, I'm fairly certain that his performance in that film has brought the general public around to my way of thinking. And while most people don't enjoy A Knight's Tale nearly as much as I do (there's no crime in enjoying jousting, pretty people and classic rock), it at least shows that he does more than brood. I think Heath Ledger probably has a lot of tricks up his sleeve that we haven't seen yet, especially given the limited number of good roles he has had. Also, I think it is safe to assume that, given the tone of the first film and Goyer and Nolan's emphasis on realism, we will be seeing a slightly different Joker than we are used to anyway.

My problem with casting Ledger as the Joker, since I initially read the rumors, has been purely based on his looks. He's just so pretty. He's not like Cillian Murphy either, who is so pretty with a side of creepy. Heath Ledger is just straight up attractive. Not at all like the Joker. At least that's what I thought, but then I saw the picture that went along with PopWatch's item on the casting announcement. Check out all those lines he gets around his mouth when he smiles. The whole lower half of his face is pretty exaggerated. Dude won't even need any prosthetics, except for the nose. It's still entirely too button-like. It needs a bit of a point to it.

It seems that the second villain in the movie has also been confirmed as the Penguin. I find it amusing that Nolan wants Phillip Seymour Hoffman for the part since he is being reimagined as a British arms dealer. The only American in the movie would be playing a Brit. I can't be the only one who thinks that's funny. Actually, I'm disappointed -- not about Phillip Seymour Hoffman, because casting him is always a good idea, but because I was hoping we would get to see the Scarecrow again. Cillian Murphy did such a great job and he had so much potential to become an even bigger threat. I'm also a bit disappointed that they are still going with the two villains per movie thing. The Joker is a strong enough character to pose a threat on his own. Many of Batman's rogues are, which is why his rogue's gallery is the strongest in all of comics. I just hope they don't kill the character off at the end. That's a pet peeve of mine. These characters never get killed in the comics. I'm not cool with Batman letting them die either, but that's another issue involving what is generally perceived as acceptable behavior for a superhero by the public versus what has always been the standard behavior in the comic books -- a debate for another time.

Finally, I would like to put out a suggestion for the third movie. I know I am jumping the gun, but I figure there's no reason why I shouldn't be first. I'd like to see Poison Ivy. I know it's been doe before but 1) so has the Joker, and 2) Batman & Robin really shouldn't count. She's just such a wonderful femme fatale character. I would love to see a really noirish Batman movie, one that highlights his detective skills more than we have seen on film so far, and a great femme fatale would fit in so well with that kind of movie. Sure, you could use Catwoman, another great femme fatale and one the filmmakers could actually hook up with the Bat. The character could use some redemption after what Halle Berry did to her too, but with her, at least we have Michelle Pfeifer's wonderful performance from Batman Returns (truly the best thing about that movie). Poison Ivy only has that campy performance by Uma Thurman. She deserves better. Also, she's a hot chick, ad maybe if they use a hot chick for he villainess, we the audience will be spared a Katie Holmes 2.0 situation. Who says Batman needs a love interest anyway?

*Wasn't Jake Gyllenhaal Nolan's second choice to play Batman? How funny would that be? So funny that I can no longer resist the Brokeback humor...."I wish I knew how to quit you, Joker."

For the Honor of Grayskull!

I am SHE-RA!

Not really, but it would be so cool if I was. For one thing, I would not be suffering the physical effects of helping my friend move yesterday. However, I did just finish watching the Best of She-Ra DVDs. After all these years, my memory of the show was a bit fuzzy. I mostly just remembered the basic story and how much I loved the show. I was a little afraid that it wouldn't hold up, but it turns out there was no reason to be afraid. Sure the style was very different from what we are used to now, even in cartoons, but it was like reading a comic book from the 80s, different but still good.

Overall, the show is still really strong. She-Ra and her alter ego Adora are wonderful characters, every bit the equal of their male counterparts, He-Man and Adam. Actually, Adam could be really insufferable, while Adora was always intelligent and capable. As, J. Michael Stracznski (former She-Ra writer, creator of Babylon 5 and current writer of Amazing Spider-Man as well as several other comic books) notes in the documentary on disc 2, when Adora becomes She-Ra, she becomes even more of who she really is. Embracing her power allows Adora to become more confident and bold. This is illustrated in the episode "The Stone in the Sword," my favorite episode on the disc (and the only one that doesn't feature and characters from He-Man). In this episode, the stone in the sword (hence the title) cracks during battle and Adora loses her ability to turn into She-Ra. In order to save Bow (the show's damsel in distress was naturally a guy), Adora must get the crystal repaired by journeying to the top of Sky Dancer Mountain and down into the Etherian Underworld without becoming She-Ra. She proves that she is worthy of becoming She-Ra and the stone is repaired. That is why she is such a great role model. Also, she kicks ass. The importance of that cannot be underestimated.

On The Secret of the Sword audio commentary and in the documentary, it is mentioned that Etheria was set up with the evil Horde in control as a reaction to Eternia, where the good guys ruled. In short, He-Man works for The Man, while She-Ra is a rebel. It makes sense that they wouldn't want to be telling the same story on both shows, but it also works as an unintentional feminist statement. The rebels, most of the regularly recurring supporting characters being women, are trying to regain power that was taken from them by the evil Horde, lead by the male Hordak. Sure Hordak had several henchwomen, but it's not like there aren't any anti-feminist women. At the end of The Secret of the Sword, She-Ra, He-Man, and the rebel army even restore a woman, Queen Angela, to the thrown of the Kingdom of Bright Moon. I knew this show had to be the root of my feminist beliefs. Thanks, Filmation! Filmation gets bonus feminism points for employing the first ever female director for animation, Gwen Wetzler. It's fitting that she would work on a show that was all about empowering girls. Rock on, Gwen Wetzler!

I am happy to say that my love for She-Ra has been re-ignited. I cannot wait for the full season DVDs to come out. I never bought the He-Man DVDs because they are far too expensive, but She-Ra is worth it. She is the first of many kick ass female action heroes that I love.

Who Wants to Be a Superhero?

Did you see this? It was crazy and unbelievably lame and I absolutely loved it. Pure cheese, baby. Pure cheese.

Stan Lee, of course, made the show. He's so good at selling this shit. Why the man wasn't put on television ages ago, I have no idea. The contestants are a trip though. I'm going to call the winner right now. I bet it's going to be Feedback. I know the guy failed the first test, but he takes it so seriously. He quit his job for this and he has a sob story. Apparently after his father died when he was 14, he looked to Stan Lee's creations as role models. Also, according to the Scifi.com page for his character, he absorbs his powers from videogames. Major Victory has the best catchphrase by far with "Be a winner, not a weiner!" The Iron Enforcer just has to go though. He's an ass.

Then there was this show called Garth Marenghi's Darkplace. It's British and there are no words to describe it. Well, there are, and those words would be "horror spoof." Pretty funny stuff though, especially the "not acting, but truth" of Dean Lerner.

Finally, there was the Amazing Screw-On Head pilot. Why did I never hear of this comic book? How can I find it? I'm not sure if this has actually been picked up for a series yet, but it needs to be. Emperor Zombie rules!

And Now I Turn Into a Total Fangirl

I am really struggling to control my excitement right now, because this is totally awesome. I don't normally blog at work (yeah, even us amateur supervillains need to have day jobs), but I just couldn't resist. I have been looking foraward to the Buffy Season 8 comic books for so long, and now my excitement is doubled, or maybe tripled. My excitement is expotentially higher. I am completely unfamiliar with Georges Jeanty's work, but that cover is gorgeous. I look forward to seeing his rendering of the other characters. I also look forward to finding out if Xander will still be sporting a patch or if he will have gotten himself a glass eye. Now we just need to get an announcement about when it will come out and what other former Buffy writers will be working on the series (I'm hoping for Drew Goddard).

Between this and the Best Of She Ra DVD, today is just so cool.

Superman Returns

I finally got to see Superman Returns last weekend, but I have been dealing with wonky internet access all week, so finally, I give you my review (not that you were holding your breath). Beware of spoilers contained within:

While Superman Returns certainly had its faults, I thoroughly loved the film. It touched on all the things that make me love the character, and the visuals were incredibly stunning. Those action sequences were amazing. Bryan Singer’s visual style just seems to expand and improve with each film, and I thought Brandon Routh was wonderful as both Superman and Clark Kent. I’ll admit, I wasn’t nearly as thrilled with Lois Lane or Lex Luthor, but Kate Bosworth did not bother me nearly as much as I thought she would and Kevin Spacey’s Lex was a vast improvement over Gene Hackman. I didn’t even hate the kid as much as I thought I would.

I thought the emotional aspect of the film worked extremely well, since the whole movie was about Superman's isolation. Many people have complained about Clark/Superman's lack of dialogue. My response to that is to ask who he was supposed to talk to. He had no one. As Clark, he couldn't talk to anyone, because no one knew he was Superman. As Superman, he couldn't really talk to Lois, the only person he had anything to say to, because she had moved on. He just came back from Krypton, finally having come to terms with the fact that he really is the last of his kind, and then his one link to his heritage is taken away from him when Luthor stole the crystals. It was heartbreaking. That's why I found the end so powerful. I wasn't thrilled with the idea of the kid, and I would still prefer they went with a different angle on the whole thing, but you could see just how much knowing he had a son meant to him. He wasn't as alone anymore because there was this other part of him out there in the world, half Kryptonian and half human. Jason represented a link to both his heritage and his adopted world.

The main plot of the story didn’t work nearly as well for me as the emotional angle. I kept wondering about how Lex Luthor’s plan would work in the long run. The whole thing could have stood to have a bit more explanation. However, Spacey’s Lex Luthor proved himself far more menacing than Hackman’s ever was during the beat down he and his henchmen gave Superman. I actually found that scene rather disturbing, and I’m a girl who has been known to root for other versions of Lex Luthor. (Have you read my Justice League Unlimited blog entries?) Also, as I said before, the action sequences were amazing. They really carried the non-love story side of the movie. I went nuts over the plane crash scene and all the other heroics, especially the whole sequence where he saved Metropolis were exciting. I know the budget on this movie was astronomical (mostly because of all the previous failed attempts to get a Superman movie made), but it was worth every penny. Singer worked in the iconic Superman imagery seamlessly. I spent half the movie just completely geeking out.

The entire end of the film, from the beat down to the very last shot was breathtaking – a true testament to just how great a filmmaker Bryan Singer is. The shot of Superman flying up to the sun to recharge was breathtaking. Actually, every shot was unbelievably beautiful. The last movie I saw that looked this good was Peter Jackson’s King Kong. As a matter of fact, King Kong is the movie I would most likely compare it to, both in content and in the fact that it’s not nearly as successful as it deserves to be. It is fitting that both were filming at the same time. Maybe Singer and Jackson can commiserate about their under appreciation.

The acting was less stellar, but I thought Brandon Routh was wonderful. (I’ve got a crush on him now, so you will find it impossible to dissuade me from this point.) As has been noted and criticized, he did not have much dialogue, but he managed to sell so much emotion without saying anything. I never failed to feel for both Clark and Superman. My heart went out to him throughout, and if Routh had not been effective that would not have happened. Kate Bosworth did not annoy me as much as I thought she would, but she wasn’t great. Her acting wasn’t awful, but I think a better actress would have done a better job of making me overlook some of the flaws in the characterization. The way Lois Lane was written in this film just did not fit my ideal version of the character, but I thought it worked within the context of the story they wanted to tell. Kevin Spacey was great acting wise, but I would have preferred a different take on Lex Luthor entirely. However, Perry White and Jimmy Olsen were captured exactly how I imagined them. Next to Brandon Routh, I thought the most impressive performance was turned in by James Marsden as Richard White. As the man who stood between Superman and Lois Lane, he had a difficult task in front of him, but good writing and a considerable amount of talent and charm made Richard as sympathetic as Superman. Also, after X3, it was just really nice to see James Marsden get to play a considerable role in a good movie.

Superman Returns wasn't a definitive interpretation of Superman, and it may not even be my favorite, but it was a completely valid interpretation. I thought everything worked within the context of the story Singer was telling and I was incredibly moved by it. I'm not ashamed to admit that my eyes welled up with tears several times throughout the film. Between the powerful emotional storytelling, the beautiful imagery, plenty of moments to make my inner fangirl completely geek out, and quite probably the best superhero action sequences I have ever seen, I thought it was a completely satisfying movie and far better than a lot of the other superhero movies (like X3, for example). Spider-Man 2 is still my favorite superhero movie since I am 100% biased in favor of Spider-Man and I thought Dr. Octopus worked better as a villain than Lex Luthor; and it is hard to compete with the original Superman films since the are a fond memory from my child and are the standard by which I judge all superhero films; but Superman Returns would definitely be put near the top of my list.

I Know He's Got a Mutant Healing Factor, But Really Now...

I haven't done any of the updates I planned to do, partially because I am lazy and partially because I have had this killer sinus infection for the past two weeks. There's so much to talk about, like the Spider-Man 3 trailer, Superman Returns (which I haven't seen yet, also partially due to the killer sinus infection), Marvel's Civil War, the last issue of season 1 of Young Avengers, and so much more. I had no idea where to start. It's all very overwhelming, so I decided to start with my personal WTF moment courtesy of Wolverine #43. (Spoilers to follow, so don't read if you don't want to know.)

Let me start off by saying that I think this particular Civil War tie-in storyline is pretty good. It's not great, and I personally find Ramos' art a bit weird looking (especially the hands), but I'm enjoying it. That said, I have a question. How the hell does Wolverine heal himself from getting completely incinerated? I'll admit, my biology knowledge is fuzzy, but if all that's left of him is his skeleton, there's not actually anything left to heal. Don't you need white blood cells to heal? And don't tell me it had something to do with bone marrow, because if you can't cut adamantium, you sure as hell can't heal through it. Anybody got an explanation for how this can work? I'll take anything that's remotely plausible, but right now, I'm not buying it. Also, when Magneto ripped the adamantium from Wolverine's body, didn't it take a while for Wolverine to recover from that? I don't remember that well, but I thought it did. In Wolverine #43, Wolverine is all better and beating up Nitro within a matter of minutes.

There's just getting out of control with Wolverine's healing factor lately. I didn't read Ultimate Hulk vs. Wolverine, but didn't Wolverine get completely ripped in half? How did that work exactly? Did his two halves get reunited and kind of fuse back together? Did he grow a new lower body? Seriously, I would like to know. Someone please tell me, because it seems to me that we are getting away from healing and venturing into regeneration, which is something mammals cannot do. Regeneration should be a whole separate power, and one that belongs to a lizard or amphibian-like mutant.

I had a similar problem with Wolverine #32. Let's overlook the fact that the issue sucked and focus on the fact that Wolverine repeatedly got shot in the head. I'm not saying this would kill Wolverine, because he would definitely heal from being shot. However, this was during World War II, before he got the adamantium, and I don't think any of those bullets passed through his head. That means that all those bullets were lodged in his brain. How could he heal properly while having to accommodate the presence of all that lead. Shouldn't he be severely brain damaged?

I don't know, maybe I'm missing something, but this sort of thing is really starting to bug me.

Sometimes I Actually Love the Sci Fi Channel

Normally, I think the Sci Fi Channel is just awful. They have some good original shows, but then they go and ruin it all by adding the ECW to their line-up. How is wrestling science fiction? I have no idea. Then there are times when I think the Sci Fi Channel is the greatest thing ever, like this morning, when I was randomly flipping through the channels, tryint to find something to watch on this lazy Sunday morning. That's when I came across Alien Apocalypse.

Jackpot!

There is no better way to spend a lazy Sunday than by watching a Bruce Campbell movie. Campbell plays a doctor who returns from a 40-year NASA mission with a group of other astronauts to find that the Earth has been conquered by cheesy looking, bug-like aliens. I don't think I'm giving anything away by saying that Bruce, naturally, becomes the leader of the oppressed humans and frees them from the aliens. It's what he does. And of course, he does it all with the typical Bruce Campbell humor.

I love cheesy alien movies. I also love how crappy the production values are, as well as the fact that almost all the the supporting actors seem to be dubbed. (The movie was apparently filmed in Bulgaria, so I'm guessing the dubbing was about covering up all the Bulgarian accents, or even the Bulgarian language.) I think the theory behing movies like this is, "We have Bruce Campbell. We don't actually need it to be good." They're right. Bruce Campbell makes everything better.

Renee O'Connor is also in the movie. I don't know if I was ready to see Gabrielle and Autolycus hook up, but it was cool to see her.

Finally, since I am talking about the awesomeness of Bruce Campbell, I want to let everyone know that the complete series of both The Adventures of Brisco County Jr. and Jack of All Trades come out on DVD on July 18. While Jack of all Trades was exactly what you woppould expect from the people behind Hercules and Xena, entertaining but by no means great, The Adventures of Brisco County Jr. was a very underrated show cancelled before its time. Personally, I'm planning to rent Jack and buy Brisco. I suggest that everyone at least check them both out, purely for the Bruce Campbell factor. For some older Bruce Campbell recs, everyone must see Bubba Ho-Tep and read If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B Movie Actor.

The Awesomest Thing I Saw On TV This Week

Earlier this week, A&E aired a documentary about Superman called Look Up in the Sky. If you did not watch it, it was pretty good. I am looking forward to seeing the extra thrity minutes on the DVD version. However, I think it's a renter, not a buyer.

Anyway, that is not the awesomest thing I saw on TV this week. The awesomest thing I saw on TV this week was probably not even sixty seconds worth of footage contained within the documentary. After George Reeves's death (the anniversary of which is tomorrow) right before they were to begin filming a new season of the Adventures of Superman, the studio decided to try to keep their investment by producing several pilots for replacement series. One was a Superboy series. The other was a little (and I mean that literally) something called Superpup.

Think about that for a second...Superpup. The limited amount footage shown from that pilot is by far the awesomest thing I have seen on TV this week. Hell, it may be the awesomest thing I have ever seen on TV. From the title alone, you can probably already imagine where I am going with this, but honestly, if you did not see it, you could never really grasp just how amazing it was.

Superpup utilized the same sets as the Adventures of Superman, which I suppose made it cost effective, but that's not what made it awesome. What made it awesome was the fact that all the actors were little people wearing dog heads. Superpup's alter ego was called Bark Kent. I don't know what the doggie Lois Lane was called, but I'm pretty sure she was a poodle. I cannot even begin to describe what Superpup looked like in his costume and flying. Imagine a truly unfortunate mascot. I do not think the doggie version of Lex Luthor was shown, which is a little sad. I woud truly love to know how they would have depicted a bald dog. Would he have been a Mexican Hairless?

Simply put, Superpup was so wrong in its very concept that it crossed the line to utterly brilliant. The entirety of the pilot needs to be made available to the public. Until some genius at whatever studio owns the rights to it realizes this, I recommend that everyone either gets their hands on the Look Up i the Sky DVD or finds out when A&E is re-airing it. I promise you that you will not be sorry.

Another One of Those Quiz Things That I Love

You Are Cyclops

Dedicated and responsible, you will always remain loyal to your cause. You are a commanding leader - after all, you can kill someone just by looking at them. Power: force beams from your eyes

Which of the X-Men Are You?

I'm not sure how much of a leader I am, but since Cyclops is my favorite X-Man, I still like the results. I do wonder why my results are never any of the female characters when I take these personality quizzes though.

666

Well, today is a very special day, and I thought long and hard about how to celebrate this date -- 06/06/06. After contemplating several different ways to commemorate the day, I finally settled on my...

TOP 5 SIGNS OF THE POP CULTURE APOCALYPSE

5. Smallville fucks up Zod - Everyone said that Zod was Smallville proof. Not even Millar & Gough could fuck that up. Well everyone was wrong. First they copped out and, in a move that screamed "We've run out of money to pay guest stars with," employed a stupid plot angle where Lex gets possessed by Zod. Then they had General Zod, a being with nothing but contempt for all humanity, make out with Lana fucking Lang on a roof top. Congratulations Millar & Gough!

4. FOX cancels Arrested Development - I know it has been months since this happened. I know the show had a chance to continue on Showtime and the creator and executive producer turned it down. I know I am still bitterly upset about it.

3. James Blunt - I don't give a crap about his other songs. Never heard 'em, but for "You're Beautiful," he needs to go down. When I am Supreme Empress of the Universe, James Blunt is the first to go in front of the firing squad. Watch the video and feel my pain.

2. This - OK, maybe it's not a sure sign of the Pop Culture Apocalypse, but it's been giving me nightmares for days.

1. The CW gives a last minute reprieve to Seventh Heaven - This was an act of nothing but pure evil, and after watching last night's series (*sniff sniff*) finale of Everwood, I am more convinced of this fact than ever. The end is nigh people. The end is nigh.

How Cool Is This?

Check this out. I took a poll to see what superhero I am. Guess what? It's my favorite.
Your results:
You are Spider-Man

Spider-Man 65% Superman 60% Robin 60% Supergirl 55% Green Lantern 50% Hulk 45% Wonder Woman 40% The Flash 35% Catwoman 35% Batman 25% Iron Man 10%

You are intelligent, witty, a bit geeky and have great power and responsibility.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...

Do You Know What Happens When a Morlock Gets Hit By Lightning? (Major X3 Spoilers Contained Within)

Apparently you get a really crappy X-Men movie. I had fully intended to give my review of this movie both a geek and non-geek perspective, but my inner geek is so pissed off that it won’t let my inner non-geek have any say at all. My inner non-geek has been bound and gagged and thrown down the storm cellar. That is how pissed off X-Men 3: the Last Stand made her. She’s gone homicidal. Well, maybe it’s just felonious assault and wrongful imprisonment. That said, I don’t think I can actually work up an actual review, so what follows is a list of things that pissed me off and the much smaller list of things I actually liked.

Warning: Major spoilers follow, so don’t continue reading if you haven’t see the movie yet. And if you haven’t seen the movie yet, please come back when you do and let me know what you think, especially if you can come up with a reason for me to not hate this movie. Anyway, here we go:


Things That Pissed Me Off:

• Halle Berry as Storm – this has been a consistent problem with all the X-Men films, but I think it bears repeating.
• It was even more about Wolverine than usual – he even managed to co-opt Cyclops’s grief. Wolverine is apparently the Lana Lang of the X-Men. Also, he cried a lot in this movie. It was very jarring.
• The fact that they turned the Dark Phoenix into little more than Magneto’s thug. Remember how lame they made Bane in Batman & Robin, just standing behind Poison Ivy all the time? That’s pretty much what Dark Phoenix did for most of the movie.
  It’s the Dark Phoenix Saga, but we don’t get to see the Phoenix Force once. She’s just a chick in an ugly red outfit that apparently commands some really fierce winds. Dark Phoenix was completely unimpressive.
• The pointless Rogue/Bobby/Kittie love triangle. I know they read Astonishing X-Men. How could they not realize that Kittie and Piotr are OMG!Meant2B4Eva!? Also, it was just shoehorned in there for pointless teen angst melodrama.
• The fact that they made Juggernaut a mutant and the fact that he looked really fucking awful. What they hell were they thinking when the let that helmet make it on screen?
• Wolverine not asking about Cyclops until after almost having sex with Jean on the exam table. I just love how he and Storm just completely ignored the fact that Cyclops was just gone. His visor is floating around and nobody cares. That’s teamwork people.
• Speaking of teamwork – it seems that someone needs to explaining what it is to Storm, because the Fastball Special is indeed teamwork.
• Uhg! The Sentinel in the Danger Room sequence. First of all, I don’t buy that Wolverine could take out a Sentinel all by himself, at least not that quickly. Second of all, it looked like crap.
• They made Psylocke and Multiple Man villains, and they didn’t even have the decency to let us see Psylocke’s psi-blade.
• How unceremoniously they killed of Cyclops. I don’t know whether to blame FOX and their spiteful ways, or Halle Berry and her insistence on having a bigger role in this installment if she was going to come back. I’m inclined to blame them all and hate them equally.
• The slightly less, but still unceremonious killing of Professor Xavier. Having Wolverine fall to his knees crying did not make it a dramatic moment. It just made it funny.
• The fact that they took away all of Professor Xavier’s ethics. Putting up mental blocks in Jean’s mind? Setting up shop in someone else’s body? So wrong. I know Xavier acts like a douchebag in the comic books now, but it has been earned and developed over years. The Xavier of this movie apparently never thought anything of playing around in other people’s heads. He’s why people are anti-mutant.
• Did Storm kill Callisto? Why not? Apparently none of the ideals of the X-Men have any meaning in this movie anyway. In the comic books, Storm defeated Callisto without her powers and refused to kill her, even though it was technically a battle to the death for control of the Morlocks (which Storm needed to win in order to save the lives of her fellow X-Men). It was Storm’s defining moment, and established her as truly worthy to lead the X-Men. This movie just insisted on making a mockery of all the great X-Men moments though. Why should Storm come off any better? She’s already being played by Halle Berry.
• Rogue taking the mutant cure. What the fuck? For the sake of their stupid Dawson’s Creek subplot? Bullshit!
• Beast using the mutant cure on Magneto. I assume this was the plan that they worked out as a team. So as a team, Storm, Beast, and Wolverine decided to go against everything Xavier stood for and for the cure on someone?
• Jean Grey does not have a split personality. She is possessed by the Phoenix Force. Jean Grey is not just some crazy freak. And in the end, they even take a way her moment of self sacrifice to once again make it all about Wolverine. I hated that the most. Maybe. No, I still hated them killing Cyclops the most. The character assassination of Jean Grey comes in second.

Things I Actually Liked:

• Angel – When he was flying he looked good, and the character was true to form. Warren is a rich kid, dearly loves to fly and would never give up that freedom, and he even got to have an unperverted hero moment hero moment when he saved his father.
• Kittie Pryde – I thought the actress was pretty good and the characterization, what little there was of it, was good too. Don’t know about her calling Juggernaut a dickhead though.
• Leech – I just liked that they even mentioned him, let alone had him in the movie.
• Beast – Kelsey Grammer was great. And they had him say “Oh my stars and garters.” That made the geek in me smile. I also thought it looked really great when he was fighting. It was all very Beast-like. And Wolvie called him furball too, which I also liked a lot.
• The Fastball Special
• Bobby getting all iced up – it looked like crap, but after 3 movies, it was about damn time we got to see Iceman really be Iceman.
• When Wolverine was fighting that guy whose arms kept growing back, and then he just kicked him in the groin and said “Grow those back.” Heh. That was Wolverine.
• The fact that they killed Cyclops so early in the movie – yes it’s my most hated thing about the movie, but the fact that he died so early meant that they couldn’t have him do something completely out of character like join Magneto or something. I really think they would have done that.
• I suppose it was a good summer popcorn flick if you didn’t care about any of the characters or the stories the movie was supposedly based on.

OK, so did I miss anything? Is there good stuff I overlooked? Is there bad stuff I blocked out? Am I completely off? Let me know what you think.

A Friendly Service Reminder

I a still planning on posting my opinions on the season finales of both Veronica Mars and Smallville. I was just waiting until I had a chance to watch them both again. The Veronica Mars finale I wanted to watch again, because it is hard to digest everything and form an opinion on the first viewing. The Smallville finale I wanted to watch again because I hope it will be better the second time around.

I also just realize that I never commented on the Supernatural finale, which I had intended to do. I've decided it's too late for that now, but I do want to say just one thing about it. And that is: NO! Not the Metallicar... Seriously, the Winchester Boys without their Impala is like Michael Knight without KITT.

Finally, since this entry is all about shows on the future CW, what was up with all the beards? I think the Smallville boys (2 current and 1 former) must have made some sort of pact, or maybe it has something to do beiong stuck up in Vancouver. I like Tom Welling's the best. He looks like the prettiest lumberjack ever.

I just wanted to add that I also have a pretty big Spider-Man rant that's been brewing for a while, so that's going to be coming up. And I hope to see X-Men 3 this weekend, so I plan on getting a review (or rant) up fot that. I'm going to be out of town for the long weekend, so I probably won't get to any of this before net week though. Expect the X3 review to be my next update (unless I don't get to see the movie), since I will try to get that up on Monday night. If I wait to long, I might have forget the details, and then I'll have to see it again. If the movie is what I expect it to be, I really don't want to give FOX my money twice.

A Farewell to the Wigs, the Accents, and the Rubber Dresses

Last night, the final to episodes of Alias aired, and while I do think it was the right time for it to end, I am sorry to see it go. I didn't think season 4 was very good, but in season 5 it really had its legs back. I was hesitant at first. Killing Vaughn off in the first episode and then adding a whole bunch of new characters did not sit well with me. But once everyone settled in, and I felt certain that Vaugn wasn't really dead, I was able to sit back an enjoy the ride. (Yes, my enjoyment was contingent on Michael Vaughn being alive. I am a girl and I have a crush on Michael Vartan.) One of my favorite shows of all time was back to what it should be.

And now it's gone...

Overrall, I would say it was a satisfying end. Several months ago, I had said that if Alias didn't end with Sydney, Vaughn and the baby walking along a beach somewhere, I would be very upset. The producers did me one better, but I will get to that later. In addition to being satisfied that Sydney got the happy ending she had earned, I thought that they did a very good job of tying things up in the end. I had actually predicted back in season 1, when they met the guy in Italy about the Rambaldi clock, the Rambaldi's end game was some sort of secret to eternal life. It's kind of cool that I was right, but I think a lot of people saw that coming.

One of the things I liked best about the first part was how they spread the moments around between the characters, Marshall especially got his moment to shine, which I thought was due to the character. I also really loved that over the course of the last half of this season, we got to see all our old favorite characters. When I had initially heard that Merrin Dungay would be guest starring, I assumed they had found a way to bring back Evil Francie again. I was pleasantly surprised to see original Good Francie in flashback. I was also surprised that I got a little choked up when Tom died. I do think that, had the show gone on, I really might have grown to love Rachel and Tom. In the first half of the season, I felt that Rachel was being forced down out throats a bit too much, and that they were trying too hard to make Rachel and Tom the new Sydney and Vaughn. But in the second half of the season, I think they fit in more organically, and in the past couple of episodes, I had really grown invested in the nascent relationship. For that reason, I found their goodbye touching and nicely understated.

The second part was the really heartbreaking part though. Even though I expected it, I was still a little shocked to see Jack get shot in the chest, and was thrilled to see Sydney lash out at Sloane and shoot him seven times. The moment I completely lost it though was during Jack's speech to Sydney. It was so touching and a little inspiring. "Nobody else in the world can do what you can do," he told her, and you knew he meant that she was just that extraordinary, and not because of any Rambaldi prophesy. He just loves her so much, and with all the flashbacks in this episode, I was reminded of how Sydney's relationship with her father had evolved since the first episode. It was so strained then, but by the end, she really was daddy's little girl.

The flashbacks to different points in Syd's life, showing how she became a spy, were wonderful as well. I loved seeing that Sydney was exactly who she was meant to be. They did white wash the fact that Jack used Project Christmas to condition her to be a spy, but since we had already known that she had solved that puzzle before he put her in the program, I'm more than willing to let that go. When we had initially found out about that, Jack told her that he had done it to protect her, and that makes perfect sense to me. Project Christmas was just another step towards her becoming the hero she needed to be. Also, I thought the scene when she told Jack about her job with Credit Dauphin, was interesting. We had already known that he had hoped to recruit Sydney into the real CIA, but Sloane had gotten to her first.

I was glad that in Sydney's final confrontation with her mother she showed compassion to the very end, always willing to give Irina the chance to turn back from her obsession. Seeing Sydney completely give up on her mother would have been too disheartening. Sydney had been willing to trust her mother at every opportunity since season 2. One of her defining characteristics was her constant need for her mother's love. And I think it's telling that earlier in the episode, Jack had admitted to Dixon that he was wrong about Sloan. As badass as Jack is, I think it's hard for him to give up on the people he loves, whether they be family or friends. I think Sydney inherited that from Jack, as we have seen them both make mistakes with trust in regard to both Sloan and Irina. As nice as it was to see that Sydney hadn't grown so cold that she could wouldn't try to save Irina, it was awesome to see what Jack did to Sloan. Jack had made mistakes, mistakes that indirectly caused a lot pain to Sydney, but he wasn't going to leave this world without doing what he could to make sure that he saves Sydney from further pain. The best line of the night: "You could beat death, Arvin, but you couldn't beat me."

Now for the end, I loved it. I do think that Sydney and Vaughn earned their happily ever after with their little family (and I have never been the type of person who needed for stories to end happily), but I loved the fact that Sydney never really gave up the spy game. It's who she is, and the fact that Isabelle takes after her mother seemed only natural to me. I'll miss Sydney Bristow, as I still miss Buffy Summers, but I am more than satisfied with the way Alias ended. And at least I still have Veronica Mars, so I'm not left without any of my favorite television heroines.

Enthusiasm Waning

I finally got around to watching the X-Men clip that aired on Fox last Thursday night (you can tell how excited I was to see it). It’s amazing how everything I see with regard to this movie just makes me less enthusiastic about it. First there was the clip I got from YouTube, which was just terrible. Even Wolverine was bad in it, and he’s the one character they have always gotten right. (I think Jackman is holding back, saving the goods for when he gets his own movie.) And I pretty much officially hate Halle Berry now. She is so not Storm. The Sentinel looked awful. The dialogue was atrocious. In general, it just didn’t look good. At least it had the Cannonball Special, though. That filled me with fangirl glee.

But on to the Fox clip. The worst thing about it was that it just wasn’t all that exciting. And no one really looks all that good. Beast should be furrier. Warren should be more handsome. Juggernaut should not make me laugh. The whole scene where the mutants are having a meeting to discuss the cure and Magneto gets up and makes a big speech just looked cheesy. It just looked so…phony street urchin or something. Remember how crazy the gangs in The Warriors looked? I got that kind of vibe from the assorted mutants, except instead of brightly colored spandex, it was just variations on black. If they are not going to be wearing their costumes, just let them dress like normal people. I couldn’t even figure out who any of them were supposed to be. Also, the whole thing just really lacked a certain cinematic quality. I thought it should have an epic feel, but it just seemed to be lacking. Hopefully it will look better on the big screen.

Another problem I have with the whole thing is the plot. I just can’t get excited about the mutant cure when not too long ago, Joss Whedon dealt with that topic in Astonishing X-Men. And he did it brilliantly. I know that’s not the only mutant cure storyline, but it’s the one I’m familiar with, and it’s the most recent, so it’s what this film has to live up to. Are Brett Rattner and the writers up to the task of matching on film what Joss Whedon and John Cassaday were able to do in the comic books?

Finally, Comics Continuum has an interview with James Marsden, aka Cyclops. There’s some interesting stuff about the character. I’m not sure about the “role reversal” between Scott and Logan in the movie, but since Scott is grieving for his wife (get used to it buddy), I’m keeping an open mind. Technically, he should be married to some chick that looks just like Jean and living in Alaska, but I don’t think we’ll be seeing that. What worries me is that they say “Cyclops is featured heavily early in X-Men: The Last Stand.” What happens to him for the rest of the movie?

Speaking of Cyclops, something else that bothered me about the clip that aired on Fox, was Wolverine trying to be the sensitive one talking to Cyclops about Jean’s death. They tried that at the end of X2 also, and it didn’t work then. And Logan just says wholly inappropriate things, like “Maybe it’s time for us to move on.” The guy who has a thing for the grieving husbands dead wife does not get to use the word “us” when referring to their grieving process. I mean, how obnoxious is that to remind a guy that while his wife was a live, you were constantly trying to put the moves on her?

All that said, I'm still going to see it opening weekend.

A World Without Heroes

Last night was the second part of the two part series finale of Justice League Unlimited. The title of this blog entry is a tribut to that. (Also, I wanted to try and have the title of my blog keep the referencing in line with the references in the episode titles. Points for getting the connection.) I waited until after both parts to post my notes on the episodes, so watch out, this is a long one.

“Alive” began with Lex Luthor once again trying to reunite with Brainiac. “I’m going to be a god again.” Lex Luthor is so badass. How cool was it that he reconfigured Grodd’s cloaking device into a hyper spatial drive? Now the headquarters is as awesome as the Legion of Doom headquarters I grew up with.

Tala – hell hath no fury like a witchy woman scorned for an alien computer. Figures she’d go running back to Grodd, but did anybody think Grodd was actually a match for Luthor? No way.

I loved seeing all the Society members duke it out. That was one of the best battles I have ever scene on this show. Toyman totally creeps me out, and I think Killer Frost is freaking cool (no pun intended). But the showdown between Luthor and Grodd was the best, with Lex showing that he is always 10 steps ahead. After Lex gets the upper hand, somehow counteracting Grodd’s mind control powers and using them against him, Lex traps him in an airlock, where they share this exchange:

“Goodbye Grodd. It could’ve gone the other way.”
“It really could have, couldn’t it?”
“No, but why speak ill of the dead?”

And then Lex has Grodd sucked out into space. Too cool. After that, he finally finds a good use for Tala. “I’m a sick person too.” Yeah he is.

Gayest line of the night: “Brainiac, I’m coming!” The look on his face is so euphoric too. The writers? They are totally going there intentionally.

Sadly, Lex did not get to reunite with Brainiac. Instead, when the reconstitution was said and done , there stood…Darkseid. Hells yeah.

Finally, I think it’s safe to say that “We have a little problem,” is the most intriguing line ever uttered on this show. The League and the Society team up. Superman and Lex Luthor fighting side by side. The week of waiting was agony. So was the wait worth it?

You betcha. “Destroyer” managed to out do “Alive” on every level, which had to be a tough thing to accomplish.

Lex Luthor: “Darkseid took Brainiac away from me. I can’t hear his voice in my head anymore.”
Superman: “Oh come on. It’s Lex flippin’ Luthor! Why should we trust him?”
Lex Luthor: “Let’s be clear about this. We’re not here to help you save the world. You’re here to help me get revenge on Darkseid. When this is over, it’s back to business as usual.”
Superman: “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

OK, so we didn’t get Lex Luthor and Superman fighting side by side. We got Lex Luthor and Batman fighting side by side, which is nearly as good. And since Superman was pretty tied up in the awesome fight against Darkseid, I’m more than happy for how it worked out.

A great rescue is always exciting, but somehow, superheroes always seem to come off as even more superhero-y when they are saving the bad guys. Not just anyone would jump off a building to save a guy like Lex Luthor. Batman? He does it without even thinking about it. I love that.

Actually, I loved that even though this was predominantly a Superman and Lex Luthor episode, with a heavy side of Batman, a lot of characters got to show off their stuff in the big battle. Naturally, the original seven all got big moments. I think my favorite had to be the return of Jonn J’Onzz to the fold. His dragon was very cool, and I loved Wonder Woman’s reaction to seeing him again. It was a rare look at the innocence of the character, which we haven’t really seen on Justice League Unlimited. Mostly she’s just an awesome warrior type and leader, which is very cool too.

Also, I know I normally gush about Lex Luthor and The Flash. Superman has never really been my favorite character, but sometimes I just really love him. This monologue that he gave while beating the crap out of Darkseid just really showed why Superman is the best of the best: “Batman won’t quit as long as he can still draw a breath. None of my teammates will. Me? I’ve got a different problem. I feel like I live in a world made of cardboard. Always taking constant care not to break something…to break someone. Never allowing myself to lose control, even for a moment or someone could die. But you can take it. Can’t you big man? What we have here is a rare opportunity for me to cut loose and show you just how powerful I really am.” I can’t even begin to argue why he shouldn’t be the most revered superhero character after that entire scene.

Still, I have to wonder how Metropolis is going to pay for all those repairs. Also, Darkseid still beat him, but he was totally cheating. Fortunately, the Metron had shown up to bring Lex to what they need to defeat Darkseid. I loved Lex’s supreme hubris in this exchange:

Metron: “I have to warn you. Only a twelfth level intellect has the slightest hope of surviving what you are about to experience.”
Lex Luthor: “Then I’m over qualified.”

The anti-life equation – I don’t get it. What happened there? I do appreciate that Lex went to go put on his “power suit” before saving the day though. You want to look good at a time like that. I think it was interesting that Superman’s perspective was that Lex “died” (have to agree with all the other Leaguers, no way Luthor and Darkseid really died) saving the world. Lex had made it clear from the beginning that he was in it because he blamed Darkseid for the loss of Brainiac and wanted revenge. Lex really is that selfish. And yet, I really don’t think Lex would want the world to come to an end. He just had his sites set on bigger things – like everything everywhere – and Darkseid took that away. So for Lex, Darkseid’s crime was bigger than wanting to take over Earth.

The end was great though. What are a bunch of superheroes supposed to do when they are faced with having to deal with a bunch of criminals who just helped them fight off invasion forces from Apokolips? Give them a five minute head start of course. (How cute was it that Giganta ran up to kiss Flash before taking advantage of her head start?) Most fittingly, the last three lines of the episode, and therefore the series, were said by the big three:

Superman: “A head start. You’re getting soft in your old age.”
Batman: “Don’t you have a tall building to go leap?”
Wonder Woman: “And the adventure continues.”

The final shot of Justice League Unlimited is the Leaguers chasing after the Society members, ending with a close up of the Bat symbol on Batman’s chest, which is so perfect since Batman: the Animated Series is where Bruce Timm’s whole universe began. It’s just too bad this is the end.