Scout Attacks! week 17: Michael Turner Is Just Bad

This past week, UPS failed to deliver a bunch of boxes to the comic shop I frequent, so I missed out on the X-Men: Endangered Species one shot, Sensational Spider-Man, Spike: Shadow Puppets, and The Tick Twentieth Anniversary Special. How much does that suck? Hopefully I will be able to get them this Wednesday.

The Brave and the Bold #4: This issue seems like filler. While there is some amusing interaction between Supergirl and Lobo, their storyline seems irrelevant and unnecessary. However, this is still an entertaining read, so while I would normally complain about wasting my time and money, I won't. Sometimes being entertaining is more than enough. Also, the half-Batman/half-Cyborg is awesome.

Justice League of America #10: Apparently, DC reduced Power Girl's breast size from the version of the cover that was previewed. That's a nice gesture and all, but it's still an ugly ass cover and Power Girl still looks like a deformed elf who is completely stoned. I look forward to the day when we can all move past the "Michael Turner covers are sexist" debate and onto the agreement that Michael Turner is just a really bad artist. The story inside isn't much prettier than the cover. Basically, what we learned in this issue is that everything we read for the past however-many-issues-this-crossover-was was pretty pointless. They could have condensed it to two issues and it wouldn't have made any difference. The JLA and the JSA meet up with a bunch of time traveling members of the Legion of Superheroes who are getting together to bring back the Flash. There was no need for all the amnesia and searching and all that stuff. It wasn't interesting or entertaining enough to warrant all the time put into it - just a bunch of issues of the JSA and the JLA on a wild goose chase and ultimately not doing anything. I would have preferred and extended six issue story arc about the game of capture the flag from the first issue ending with Wally West walking into the Hall of Justice saying, "Hey! What did I miss?" All the interesting stuff that hinted at greater conspiracies and events, like the fact that the Legion of Superheroes appeared to bring someone else back in addition to Wally and his family or the white gorilla born in Gorilla City or the Ultra Humanite stuff, is apparently going to be dealt with elsewhere, presumably Countdown. That's just wasting my time, and not in a good way, especially since I have dropped Countdown with no intention of buying it again (until Ollie's bachelor party, anyway).

Highwaymen #1: This was entertaining enough, if fairly generic. Two over the hill adventurers come out of retirement to deal with something from their past. Old guys with guns is practically a genre in and of itself, and it's one I'm fond of, but this story doesn't do anything to set itself apart. Also, it seemed to be trying too hard to be clever in parts (like the whole "President Clinton...no, the other President Clinton" thing), and, in the end, it was somewhat forgettable.

The Amazing Spider-Man #541: My first reaction when I finished reading this issue was "There are seriously going to more issues in this storyline? Is the next issue just going to be page after page of Spider-Man getting his ass kicked by the inmates?" On top of that, this just isn't very interesting. The outcome is a foregone conclusion, mostly because we know that Kingpin isn't dead from other Marvel comics, but also because of the simple fact that this is Spider-Man. It's just tiresome. It's also not very believable. I don't think I really buy Spidey having these reactions, unless it had been one continuous tear between May being shot to Kingpin. The more time he takes, whether it be to call MJ or to sit at May's bedside, the less likely his actions seem. This also marks the second storyline in a row where it would actually seem relevant for him to be thinking about Gwen Stacy, and yet he isn't, so I had to sit through House of M: Spider-Man for nothing.

Captain America #27: This is another comic where not a lot happens in this issue, but it doesn't matter because it's so well done. Basically, it's just more of everyone dealing with Cap's death, while Bucky continues to be bad ass. He goes to the Captain America exhibit at the Smithsonian, sees that the shield on display there is a fake and sets out to get the real one because he doesn't think Tony Stark deserves to get to keep it; he fights the Black Widow and we learn that they used to have a relationship; the Falcon and Sharon are sent out stop him, but get there too late; Sharon wears an interesting but cool white cat suit; and Black widow informs Tony Stark that Bucky is out to kill him. Ultimately, that's the most interesting thing about this issue as I am intrigued to know what Stark is going to do about it. Also, I don't think I've mentioned this before, but part of what makes this title so much cooler than the other ones I read is, in addition to the amazing work by Brubaker and Epting, it has flying cars. They're just cool.

Spider-Man and the Fantastic Four #3: I've been enjoying this series, but this issue was made infinitely cooler by an appearance from Dr. Doom. He makes everything better. Also, this issue has anthropomorphic animals as an added bonus, and Wieringo makes them look adorable. This mini is just fun., and that's enough. I know it's a long shot, but I think it would be cool if Jeff Parker were one of the new Amazing Spider-Man writers.

Spider-Man Mythos: The world probably didn't need another retelling of Spider-Man's origin, but it's such a good story, and I am so partial to Spidey, that I am rarely able to resist them. Fortunately, this one features some pretty solid writing and some really beautiful art. I thought the appearance by Conan O'Brien was a bit weird though. I prefer the pro-wrestling.