Scout Attacks! week 17: Michael Turner Is Just Bad

This past week, UPS failed to deliver a bunch of boxes to the comic shop I frequent, so I missed out on the X-Men: Endangered Species one shot, Sensational Spider-Man, Spike: Shadow Puppets, and The Tick Twentieth Anniversary Special. How much does that suck? Hopefully I will be able to get them this Wednesday.

The Brave and the Bold #4: This issue seems like filler. While there is some amusing interaction between Supergirl and Lobo, their storyline seems irrelevant and unnecessary. However, this is still an entertaining read, so while I would normally complain about wasting my time and money, I won't. Sometimes being entertaining is more than enough. Also, the half-Batman/half-Cyborg is awesome.

Justice League of America #10: Apparently, DC reduced Power Girl's breast size from the version of the cover that was previewed. That's a nice gesture and all, but it's still an ugly ass cover and Power Girl still looks like a deformed elf who is completely stoned. I look forward to the day when we can all move past the "Michael Turner covers are sexist" debate and onto the agreement that Michael Turner is just a really bad artist. The story inside isn't much prettier than the cover. Basically, what we learned in this issue is that everything we read for the past however-many-issues-this-crossover-was was pretty pointless. They could have condensed it to two issues and it wouldn't have made any difference. The JLA and the JSA meet up with a bunch of time traveling members of the Legion of Superheroes who are getting together to bring back the Flash. There was no need for all the amnesia and searching and all that stuff. It wasn't interesting or entertaining enough to warrant all the time put into it - just a bunch of issues of the JSA and the JLA on a wild goose chase and ultimately not doing anything. I would have preferred and extended six issue story arc about the game of capture the flag from the first issue ending with Wally West walking into the Hall of Justice saying, "Hey! What did I miss?" All the interesting stuff that hinted at greater conspiracies and events, like the fact that the Legion of Superheroes appeared to bring someone else back in addition to Wally and his family or the white gorilla born in Gorilla City or the Ultra Humanite stuff, is apparently going to be dealt with elsewhere, presumably Countdown. That's just wasting my time, and not in a good way, especially since I have dropped Countdown with no intention of buying it again (until Ollie's bachelor party, anyway).

Highwaymen #1: This was entertaining enough, if fairly generic. Two over the hill adventurers come out of retirement to deal with something from their past. Old guys with guns is practically a genre in and of itself, and it's one I'm fond of, but this story doesn't do anything to set itself apart. Also, it seemed to be trying too hard to be clever in parts (like the whole "President Clinton...no, the other President Clinton" thing), and, in the end, it was somewhat forgettable.

The Amazing Spider-Man #541: My first reaction when I finished reading this issue was "There are seriously going to more issues in this storyline? Is the next issue just going to be page after page of Spider-Man getting his ass kicked by the inmates?" On top of that, this just isn't very interesting. The outcome is a foregone conclusion, mostly because we know that Kingpin isn't dead from other Marvel comics, but also because of the simple fact that this is Spider-Man. It's just tiresome. It's also not very believable. I don't think I really buy Spidey having these reactions, unless it had been one continuous tear between May being shot to Kingpin. The more time he takes, whether it be to call MJ or to sit at May's bedside, the less likely his actions seem. This also marks the second storyline in a row where it would actually seem relevant for him to be thinking about Gwen Stacy, and yet he isn't, so I had to sit through House of M: Spider-Man for nothing.

Captain America #27: This is another comic where not a lot happens in this issue, but it doesn't matter because it's so well done. Basically, it's just more of everyone dealing with Cap's death, while Bucky continues to be bad ass. He goes to the Captain America exhibit at the Smithsonian, sees that the shield on display there is a fake and sets out to get the real one because he doesn't think Tony Stark deserves to get to keep it; he fights the Black Widow and we learn that they used to have a relationship; the Falcon and Sharon are sent out stop him, but get there too late; Sharon wears an interesting but cool white cat suit; and Black widow informs Tony Stark that Bucky is out to kill him. Ultimately, that's the most interesting thing about this issue as I am intrigued to know what Stark is going to do about it. Also, I don't think I've mentioned this before, but part of what makes this title so much cooler than the other ones I read is, in addition to the amazing work by Brubaker and Epting, it has flying cars. They're just cool.

Spider-Man and the Fantastic Four #3: I've been enjoying this series, but this issue was made infinitely cooler by an appearance from Dr. Doom. He makes everything better. Also, this issue has anthropomorphic animals as an added bonus, and Wieringo makes them look adorable. This mini is just fun., and that's enough. I know it's a long shot, but I think it would be cool if Jeff Parker were one of the new Amazing Spider-Man writers.

Spider-Man Mythos: The world probably didn't need another retelling of Spider-Man's origin, but it's such a good story, and I am so partial to Spidey, that I am rarely able to resist them. Fortunately, this one features some pretty solid writing and some really beautiful art. I thought the appearance by Conan O'Brien was a bit weird though. I prefer the pro-wrestling.

Is This a Bad Sign?

Earlier this week, Ain't It Cool News had all the casting news surrounding The Watchmen. I've been following this because I liked the book and think it could potentially be a very important comic book adaptation, but I'm not super excited about the movie, so I haven't felt the need to comment on it. I pretty much think all the casting choices are pretty good. I was mostly intrigued by Keanu Reeves as Dr. Manhattan, but he turned it down and Jason Patric became the frontrunner. Whatever. He's good too (though AICN mentioned that they "flirted with" Billy Crudup for the part, and if I had to choose from the three of them which one I would like to see naked and painted blue, it would be him). It just wasn't something I gave much thought to.

Then, today, I was reading EW.com's 25 Worst Sequels Ever Made and I got to number 9. I'm starting to think going for Patric when they can't get Reeves is a bad omen, because that movie was unwatchable. Hopefully, everything will be OK as long as they don't get Sandra Bullock to play Sally Jupiter.

As for who's going to play The Comedian, of all the names floating around, I think Gerard Butler is the best choice. Ron Pealman is good; the AICN article hints that Thomas Jane is the frontrunner, and I always think casting him is a good idea; but Butler kind of creeps me out, even though I think he's really good looking. Dude just seems crazy.

On an unrelated note, I saw a commercial for the re-release of Blade Runner last night. How sad is it that this was the most interesting and attention grabbing ad I have seen for a movie in years? Sure I want to see Live Free or Die Hard, and Transformers is surprisingly cool looking, but that Blade Runner made me like the movie was going to be something unlike anything I'd seen before, and I've seen the movie before. Or maybe it was just Rutger Hauer drawing me in.

I Would So Buy This

Stan Lee gets his own action figure

Now they just need to come out with Kirby, Ditko, and all the greats from the Marvel Bullpen. Oh, and a Marvel Bullpen playset. That would be awesome!


(Found via The Beat, were you can also see a picture of said action figure.)

Wait! What Decade Is It?

Because I was pretty certain the '90s were over. So what's up with this Marvel?

Scout Attacks! week 16: Skrull Edition

Before I begin, I just want to announce that Skrulls are going to be my new thing. I'm going to blame everything on Skrulls from now on, or at least until I get tired of it. If it's anything like Superboy Prime's time punch, that could take a while.

Fables #60: James Jean's cover is gorgeous. His covers are always gorgeous, but this cover is particularly so. I wasn't as impressed with the rest of the issue. It was typically good. An average issue of Fables is still better than most other comics. It just felt a like filler. I realize that certain things, like Flycatcher's transformation, the exposition about Lancelot, and everything with Hansel were important to moving the story forward, but they all seemed like relatively minor developments to build and entire issue around. I'm assuming that this was a matter of pacing though. I expect awesomeness in the next issue.

Green Arrow #75: I don't even know what to say about this issue. It wasn't good. There were several groan-worthy moments. I cannot even fathom why Batman would have developed something that could not only dissolve a wall into a water-like substance, but happens to smell like milk and honey. It is quite possibly one of the dumbest things I have read in a comic book in quite some time, which, given the state of Marvel right now, is saying something. Then there's the fact that the whole thing is basically just a missive on how wonderful Oliver Queen is. My least favorite part of the issue though is when Slade is about to kill Dinah and Ollie pleads with him to kill him instead. This is dumb in so many ways. The first being that Slade obviously intends to kill both of them and Ollie is an idiot for thinking that Slade would just kill him and leave Dinah alone. The second is that the whole scene is obviously meant to show how much he loves Dinah and can't live without her, but the point is completely blown by the fact that he's a superhero, one with no powers I might add, and lays his life down for other people all the time. I am knew to these characters, but it seems to me that the best way to show Ollie's devotion to Dinah would be to show him being a decent guy over a period of time. Grand life and death gestures just don't cut it for people who deal in life and death all the time. It's emotionally hollow. I'm not inherently against the pairing since I'm not all that familiar with the characters, but these issues have done nothing to sell me on it either. There are a lot of things that can be dictated by editorial mandate and rushed into being story-wise. Good romance is not one of those things. Also, as someone who is primarily interested in Black Canary, I am concerned about the upcoming joint Black Canary/Green Arrow series being scripted by Winick. Has the entire series been all wonder and praise to the glory of Oliver Queen while he's been writing it, or has it just been part of the rushed romance and showing that he's changed and is worthy of Dinah? If it's the former, I have no interest in reading a series where Dinah is going to spend all her time gushing about how awesome Ollie is. Anyway, at the end of the issue, Ollie proposes, even though they have only been back together for approximately 2 nanoseconds, and we are left on a cliffhanger for her answer. Given the DC solicits for September, it's the opposite of what I would advise. I'm still totally going to buy all the special wedding issues though. This one especially looks super cute:

Supernatural Origins #2: Things start to get exciting, dark and really morally questionable in this issue. It's clear that this series will be about showing how John Winchester went from normal, loving and good husband and father to the man we saw on the television show. Some mysterious new characters are introduced also, and I am interested to see if they are what they claim to be. One in particular has the potential to be a mentor figure who teaches John how to hunt, but something about him doesn't seem quite right. This is getting pretty good. I also really like the art. It's more along the lines of a B.P.R.D. as opposed to the average licensed property and it really adds to the tone, as well as making it feel more like it was meant to be comic book rather than just something based on a television show.

Avengers Classic #1: Not being up on my Avengers history, I'm really happy about getting to start from the beginning, and I always love reprints of 60s stuff. Lee and Kirby were...well, they were Lee and Kirby. 'Nuff said. But I really like the new stuff too. First of all, the Art Adams cover is gorgeous. Then there's Dwayne McDuffie's story which is seriously fun. I love how the Wasp plays on the team's sexism to get to become the first Avengers (secret) chairman. It fits so well with the way the female characters were written back then, while subtly subverting it. The whole story is very funny. Finally, there's "The real Origin of the Avengers!" by Stan Lee, which follows the "Stan as ultimate huckster" thing that we have seen in a lot of his stories where he meets his characters. It's still amusing. "I'll finally be able to buy a saddle!" is definitely the line of the week.

New Avengers #31: It's pretty pointless to discuss anything but the big reveal at the end, like the fact that the art in this issue is just weird and the story doesn't really flow well from panel to panel in certain places, so I'm just going to get to it. First of all, if the writer has to go around to every major comics website explaining what the huge reveal in the comic means, the reveal doesn't work. Simple as that. I'm not sure why the reveal didn't work. I think part of it was that it was Elektra, as opposed to someone more major or in a position of power in Shield or something. Elektra being a Skrull just doesn't seem to be all that important to the greater Marvel Universe. Also, when New Avengers began, the conspiracy plot was really at the forefront and was by far the most interesting thing about the book, but it got dropped in order to deal with Civil War, thereby causing it to lose its momentum. And then there's the question of why Wolverine couldn't smell the difference in Elektra, but I assume that's an issue that will be dealt with at some point. (I strongly suspect that they are going to reveal that Elektra has been a Skrull since her first death anyway.) That said, I think the concept is pretty cool. While there is absolutely a chance for Marvel to take this way too far and reboot everything, making everything that's happened in the last few years pointless, the stories that can grow out of it in the future have a great deal of potential. Unlike Civil War, which was socially relevant in a heavy handed and insulting way, the idea that anyone can be a Skrull is pretty creepy and socially relevant like really great science fiction or horror. It's like Invasion of the Body Snatchers. OK, so it's not terribly original, but to my knowledge it has never been done in superhero comics. I'm really looking forward to seeing where they go with this, but I'm preparing myself for disappointment. Other than that, this issue wasn't very good. Really, this arc was only interesting during the flashbacks in the earlier issues. I liked the banter between Spider-Man and Ronin/Hawkeye, but I'm still pissed off that Spidey's characterization is completely different in every book. Also, if either Jessica Jones or Luke Cage are Skrulls, which is very possible with that creepy baby moment, I will personally storm Marvel's offices. I love them, and just...no. They can't be Skrulls. That is final.

I'm starting to think I made a mistake in not picking up World War Hulk #1. I don't really have any interest in the Hulk, but I love John Romita Jr. and I have a strong desire to see Iron Man get his ass kicked.

Why Does Stan Lee Want To Make Me Cry?

I just saw this item posted at EW's PopWatch on Friday:

"We just got confirmation from MTV that Marvel Comics god Stan Lee is developing a new show for them that will somehow involve Paris Hilton."

I know I shouldn't be too surprised, given Striperella, and Lee's always been fairly shameless, but this is like chocolate and broccoli mixed together. The man who created my all time favorite character working on something that involves Paris Hilton. It just doesn't compute.

Next, it will be announced that Joss Whedon is working on a musical with James Blunt.

Damn You Marvel!

They just keep dangling Cyclops in front of me:

Something happens in Chapter One that changes everything. It stratifies the world of the X-Men in a clear way. It unifies the heroes in a way they haven’t been for years, and all under Scott Summers. Cyclops steps up huge in this event and will get people talking.

The main character in the whole thing, the character that takes the most prominence, would be Cyclops. He steps up and becomes a leader, like we all knew he had in him, but he might not have shown all that much lately. He takes a very large role in this, but there are a bunch of others.

Expect Cyclops in rare form.

And he's wearing his visor, too. I was expecting him to get his powers back by the end of Astonishing X-Men anyway.

Still no Jean though:

There’s some really big reveals, but there are no resurrections within the pages of this event.

Anyway, I guess I'm gonna have to check out this "Messiah CompleX" thing. I'm kind of excited to see Brubaker write more of Cyclops too. I liked what I saw in Deadly Genesis. But still...I did not want to be reading and X-Event. Grrr...

Do You Know What I Love about Superman?

He's a sport.

I mean, look at that. I bet Batman wouldn't agree to be the entertainment at a bachelorette party.

Also, considering Justice League Unlimited is the reason I started branching out to DC, I'm pretty damn excited about Dwayne McDuffie taking over writing JLA when Brad Meltzer finishes his run.

Cool! She's My Favorite

Your Score: Katharine Hepburn

You scored 14% grit, 33% wit, 42% flair, and 19% class!

You are the fabulously quirky and independent woman of character. You go your own way, follow your own drummer, take your own lead. You stand head and shoulders next to your partner, but you are perfectly willing and able to stand alone. Others might be more classically beautiful or conventionally woman-like, but you possess a more fundamental common sense and off-kilter charm, making interesting men fall at your feet. You can pick them up or leave them there as you see fit. You share the screen with the likes of Spencer Tracy and Cary Grant, thinking men who like strong women.

Find out what kind of classic leading man you'd make by taking the
Classic Leading Man Test.

Link: The Classic Dames Test written by gidgetgoes on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Why Aren't People Talking About This Movie?

Or maybe they are, and I am just missing it. Anyway, I am psyched for Shoot 'Em Up. I've been looking forward to it since it was announced, but now IGN has the trailer. It doesn't immediately grab you, but it gets pretty friggin' awesome. I mean, c'mon. It's got Clive Owen being sexy, Monica Belluci being hot, Paul Giamatti, lots of shoot outs, Clive Owen being sexy with guns, and the balls to use a Motley Crue song in 2007.

Skrulls

Elektra
Hawkeye
Iron Man
Wolverine
Xavin
Hulkling*
Emma Frost
Cyclops**
Spider-Man
Mary Jane
Aunt May
Magneto
Captain Marvel
Ms. Marvel
The Sentry
Mr. Fantastic
The Invisible Woman
Dr. Strange
Professor Xavier
She Hulk
Captain America***
Various members of Shield
The entire Marvel editorial staff



*But only half
**This one's just wishful thinking
***The one Millar wrote, not the Brubacker one. He's still dead.

Scout Attacks! week 15: Tuocs Skcatta!

It was a decent week though. I forgot to pick up Supernatural: Origins #2 though. I hate it when I do that.

Countdown #47: So, Jimmy Olsen is having freaky dreams, the Monitors are making big speeches and targeting Jason Todd, Donna Troy and Kyle Rayner, the Rogues share a moment, and Mary Marvel gets Black Adam's powers. While the I thought the scene between Trickster and Pied Piper was nice, the Mary Marvel part was the only thing about this issue that was truly interesting. That's why it was too bad that it didn't make much sense. The last time I saw Black Adam he was looking to get his powers back. Now he has them and doesn't want them. It's an obvious attempt to get me to read the upcoming Black Adam mini series, and while I think it was probably successful, I'm very close to dropping this title, so I think DC is losing out in the long run. The basic problem with this series is that it is far too uneven, and unlike 52, which hooked me on the characters from the beginning, Countdown has yet to really make me care more than mild curiosity. It doesn't help that the end of the last issue made a big deal about what it might mean for a god to die and then this issue had no follow through on that. It destroys the whole impact and forward momentum.

Birds of Prey #107: As I suspected, the cover is very misleading, but this was still a rollicking good issue. We've got everyone just brawling, some truly awesome Harley Quinn lines, Huntress and Catman being the sensible ones, while also being flirty (more of this pairing, please), and a really great Deadshot moment. Really great. We do lose a member of the team though, but I think it was worth it to see Zinda take out Spysmasher like that. I am very much looking forward to the Babs/Spysmasher showdown in the next issue. It should be good.

Detective Comics #833: It amazes me that I had dropped this title at one point. Sure I wound up going back and picking up the issues I missed, but there was still a point where I didn't think it was worth continuing to read this title. I am completely flummoxed over how it got from that point to this really great issue. There's so much good here from the character stuff, to the suspense, to a reveal at the end that I really did not see coming. There are also a bunch of Alan Moore references. It's also really nice to see Zatanna clothed here, unlike the last time I saw her where she appeared to be wearing her underwear while helping Superman.

Superman #663: This is one of those issues that is probably essential to the story arc, but feels inconsequential right now. Still, I thought it was fairly entertaining. All the stuff with the New God youngsters was pretty cute. I'm interested to see if anything is going to happen there now that Lightray is dead. It's clear that a lot of stuff is being set up with Arion too. It's no surprise though that Superman has decided not to just sit back and watch civilization crumble. He is Superman after all. I just kind of hope this doesn't lead to a storyline where Superman gets mind controlled and destroys a bunch of stuff, but then snaps out of it and all is better. This whole concept is pretty intriguing and I would like to see the story come to a more satisfying conclusion than that. It's all been pretty philosophical so far, and while there definitely needs to be some action, I don't want things to just end with a brawl.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer #4: This is the last issue of this arc and it's plainly clear that Whedon isn't even trying to reach out to readers that are not familiar with the television show. Warren, aka skinless guy, doesn't even get a name check. I guess that's OK though since, judging by sales, there are a lot more Buffy watchers than comic book readers. That's probably the biggest flaw with this series, but since I am a Buffy fanatic, I don't really have many problems at all with this series. I will say that it has been a little strange the way the story is unfolding though, because it sort of follows the format of the television series, in that while this storyline has ended, it's really just a set up for things to come, but it's different because what was multiple issues here probably would have been cut down to a single episode. The effect is something unlike a normal comic series, but also unlike the television series and is therefore taking some getting used to. Moreso that any of the action is this issue, what was good was the future potential of what was being set up. Willow is rescued, but Buffy and the slayers clearly have bigger things to worry about, and I love that Whedon is revisiting the issue of what a slayer actually is, while also questioning a lot of what Buffy has done when she chose to give all this power to these young women. Nothing's ever black and white with this franchise and everything has consequences. It will be interesting to see how far Whedon can take this without undermining the female empowerment message that he clearly set out to make with the show's series finale. Also, I've never been one of those fans that outright hated Dawn, though I was often frustrated with the character, so I am interested in seeing what develops in Buffy and dawn's relationship. We know that Buffy loves Dawn so much she was willing to sacrifice her life for her, but ever since then there has been an ever growing gulf between them. I think repairing that bond is going to be very important to Buffy and her humanity in the coming months.

Loners #3: I have a confession to make. I have always liked Phil Urich. Sure I thought it was a bit idiotic to try and be a good guy version of the Green Goblin, but that's one of the things I like about him - that he tried. This issue is told from his perspective, and well, he's a little messed up. He's trying to keep everything under control, for him and the group, but he's obviously ready to snap. It doesn't help that they have some major problems with Julie Power now in the hospital after being attacked by Hollow, formally known as Penance before Speedball stole her name, and the leader of the MGH dealers after them because Hollow escaped. In the end, Mickey makes a mysterious deal to make there problems go away, but nobody really feels good about what has happened. Phil does now have a smitten Hollow sleeping on his floor though (and it is absolutely adorable when she kisses him earlier in the book). I'm really enjoying this series, and I really hope Marvel sees fit to make it an ongoing. It's interesting because it isn't a superhero series at all really, but it deals with the issues of being a superhero in a way that I don't think I've seen before. Oh, and this issues John Hughes movie cover inspiration is Weird Science, for anyone keeping track.

Spider-Man Family #3: Usually, the most enjoyment I get out of this title is from the reprints and Mini Marvels stories, which are always adorable, but the new story in this one is really good Tobin does a good job with all the characters and the art is really different and cool. There's just one thing that kept me from loving it. Why didn't Spider-Man see the brick that is floating, practically, right in front of his face?

Uncanny X-Men #487: I had dropped this title during the Shi'ar arc because it was boring and the pacing was all off, but bringing in Storm got me to give it another chance, because, well, Brubaker is good enough for me to think of the previous arc as an anomaly and Storm is cool. So far, this story seems pretty interesting, and given that it is only 5 issues long, I'm confidant that it will hold up better than the last, which also started out as fairly interesting. It seems I did miss quite a bit though, as Corsair is now dead. I wonder if they showed Scott's reaction to that. Anyway, I'm looking forward to seeing what's going on with the Morlocks in the post-M-Day Marvel Universe, and I always think it's interesting to see Storm dealing with them. Also, as much as I think everything with Magneto is kind of a mess right now, I'm interested to see if Brubaker brings him back. Somehow I think that if anyone could right Magneto really well at this point, it would be him.

In other news, Smallville has announced that they have added Supergirl to their already over inflated cast. Kara is going to be 19, with a rebellious streak and able to fly...before Clark. This is part of Millar and Gough's ongoing plan to make the lamest incarnation of Superman ever.

Please, No

From this week's Lying in the Gutters:

ONCE BYRNED

A while ago, John Byrne talked about an idea he'd had with Howard Mackie to "reset" Spider-Man continuity. First they would have put Peter Parker through the worst of it, until he considers ending it all. At that point, he'd find himself on the bridge where Gwen Stacy died, offering his soul if the clock could have been turned back to simpler times. At which point the Shaper Of Worlds does just that, remaking Spider-Man's world to when he was back in High School, but with the current book's supporting cast, taking place in the modern day. Eventually confronting the Shaper, he discovers nothing can be changed, and his memories of the old world slowly fade away. The team decided though that this kind of event would be too "cosmic" for Spider-Man, who has a "street level" tone.

Well, while Byrne may be out of favour at Marvel (or vice versa), his ideas may still see the light of day. Coincidence of course, these things usually are - google "ideaspace" for further discussion. That is all for now.

This is pretty much my worst nightmare. Well, not really, because that would involve some combination of sharks, wax figures, Parmalat, and Critters. This is my worst nightmare when it comes to potential outcomes of the upcoming Spider-Man arc "One More Day" (which I always want to call "One Day More" because of the song from Les Miserables). And it seems like an ever increasing likelihood that it's going to happen, when you take into consideration the fact that a similar un-writing of Spider-Man history appeared in Lying in the Gutters several months back (I can't be bothered to search for it now, but it was a scenario that involved a new character introduced in the Ms. Marvel Annual), my own observations in my review for New Avengers: Illuminati #3, and even the appearance of the new character Jackpot in Dan Slott, the guy who is probably going to be taking over Amazing Spider-Man Free Comic Book Day story "Swing Shift."

I guess I just don't understand why Spider-Man being married is such a big deal. Personally, I happen to like the marriage and always have. Since I have been reading since I was nine-years-old and Peter and Mary Jane have been married that whole time, the argument that kids can't relate to a married Peter Parker always seems a bit weird to me. If anything, I think most nine-year-olds probably assume they will be married by the time they are Peter's age. I know I did. Whereas now, at roughly the same age as Peter, the whole idea of marriage is increasingly foreign to me, yet I still like the fact that Peter Parker is married. I like who he's married to too, despite the fact that she's a super model. (I'm not even going to get into the constant remarks like "How bad could his life be? He's married to a super model" made by certain writers and editors. It gets me far too annoyed.)

Even more than my personal feelings about Peter Parker's marriage, which I could go into far more depth about, I do not really see how ending the marriage could be so all important that Marvel would damage the integrity of the character and company just to make it go away. Isn't the fact that Marvel didn't do stuff like this supposed to be one of the things that set them apart from the Distinguished Competition, not to mention a key part of the more reality based storytelling they have always prided themselves on? If this happens, I guess it will show that it's just a slippery slope from Wanda uttering "No more mutants!" to completely throwing out 40+ years of continuity and character development.

It also doesn't make much sense to me because there already is a version of Spider-Man who will never grow up. He won't even ever leave high school. Wouldn't this kind of thing render Ultimate Spider-Man completely pointless? (One could argue that Marvel is making the whole Ultimate line pointless with the recent developments in the main Marvel Universe, but since it still has a Captain America and as much of an ass as Ultimate Tony Stark is, he is not crossed the line into supervillain territory, I don't hold with that opinion.) There's also Spider-Man Adventures, which is targeted at younger readers. It's odd to me that, with a number of alternatives, Marvel wouldn't want to appease all fans, by at least keeping the current continuity intact, even if they still wanted to end the marriage through divorce or, loathe as I am to even mention it, death. This is what gives me hope that Marvel won't take this road though, because they do seem to want to appeal to all the different Spider-Man fan preferences. Still, the fact that this rumor gets floated repeatedly, combined with the fact that there are so many pieces in place for them to do something like this is troubling simply because it indicates that Marvel editorial has given it serious thought, which in my not so humble opinion it does not warrant. This is Spider-Man, people. This sort of thing does not suite him. Unfortunately, I might argue that mystical totems don't really suite him either.

Even as a fan of the marriage, I could have been OK with the divorce scenario. Done well, it could have opened up both Peter and MJ for some interesting personal stories while still keeping MJ in the picture as 1) a close friend that knows Peter's secret (now a moot point, I know) and he can confide in, and 2) a love interest, since divorce in no way precludes a potential reunion and Mary Jane has pretty much become Marvel's Lois Lane thanks to the movies. It's been pretty obvious for a while now though that divorce isn't an option for these two. Their post-separation relationship has been stronger than ever, and the Sensational Spider-Man Annual clearly illustrated that neither one of them are giving up on their marriage. That still, of course, leaves the option of Mary Jane's death, which despite the sinking feeling I got when I finished reading the Sensational Spider-Man Annual, I still don't believe is going to happen. The movies have made her too well known. Anyway, Mary Jane's been dead before, and it didn't really work out well for the Spider-Man titles.

Personally, I don't have much interest in reading about a perpetually young Peter Parker that never moves forward. Maybe it's because I myself am an adult now, but I have always liked the fact that Peter Parker was the one character that has really grown and matured through the years, experiencing various stages of life and the dilemmas that they hold. I think it adds to his status as the "everyman" character. Furthermore, I think it is much truer to the character that Stan Lee created, a character who aged in real time for his first five years of existence before the publisher made Stan Lee slow it down. Here's a quote from Write Now #14 (January 2007):

STAN: Yeah, I thought it would be great to have him age in real time. I never really knew that it couldn't be done. You may recall, after high school I put him in college and then after he'd been there for a few years I made him a grad student. Later we had him get married--or maybe it was earlier. I can't quite remember. I'd have eventually had MJ get pregnant also. However, Martin Goodman, the publisher, didn't want him to age in real time so that put a stop to it.

(Sidenote: I don't think Peter graduated college until Len Wein's run from 1975 to 1978.) I actually believe that it was a good thing to not have Spidey age in real time, since it allowed to more fully examine the story potential, but eventually, the story gets played out and it's time to move the character forward. I love coming of age tales, especially when it comes to superheroes, and Spider-Man was probably the best. However, the whole point of a coming of age tale is that the character eventually comes of age. If one tries to hold the character in place for too long, he or she stops seeming like a kid who is making normal mistakes and growing and learning from them, and more like an idiot. To me, that's a great deal more unrelatable than a protagonist who is from a different age group as myself, as it tends to make the character downright unlikeable.

I would prefer to see the character move forward. He's just unmasked, which I am not all that keen on, since another thing I see as essential to the character that Stan Lee created is the duality of Peter Parker and Spider-Man, but it would have been nice to see that fully explored before changing everything yet again, or resetting it, as the case might turn out to be. As I said, I could have been OK with a divorce had the story remained true to the characters of Peter and Mary Jane, and I am still a bit bitter about what happened to baby May back when they actually did broach the subject of them having a child before jettisoning it never to be mentioned again like everything else that happened during the second Clone Saga.

Anyway, it's hard to take any argument about marriage making Peter too old and unrelatable seriously when it comes from the people who made him a teacher, the ultimate symbol of being an old and unrelatable authority figure for any child and probably more than a few adults. For now though, I am just going to have to chalk these rumors and suspicions up on my list of things that are making me not look forward to "One More Day" along with Joe Quesada's ugly ass art. Why take ideas from Byrne and Mackie anyway? Their run sucked and didn't sell well.

A Desperate Plea to Hollywood

According to Variety, in an article found via Comic Book Resources, Warner Brothers has optioned a script for Thundercats, which is just the latest in a long line of 1980s nostalgia projects that are coming down the pipeline, starting with the increasingly cool looking Transformers movie being released next month. Personally, I'm an 80s kid and I love all these cartoons dearly, so I'm excited. Thundercats and He-Man particularly make me happy, since they have always been on my list of movies I would like to make if I were a filmmaker. (Everyone has one of those lists, right?) If Transformers is as big a movie as I expect it to be, I bet all these other cartoon themed projects will be rushed into production, and then we'll get a ton of 1980s cartoons and toy lines being optioned left and right, even the ones that absolutely suck. Then we'll get a bunch of movies that aren't actually tied to any 1980s nostalgia item, but are desperately trying to capitalize on the theme. Basically, I'm envisioning the comic book movie craze that happened after X-Men and Spider-Man, only with more robots. In the end, what started out really cool will become really lame and will make even hardcore geeks like me groan at the potential suckage and desecration of the heroes of our youth that Hollywood will trot out every summer. But before that happens, I have one request. Can we please, please, please have a She-Ra movie?

It's been really disappointing to me that She-Ra's been largely neglected in the whole nostalgia craze. A few years back when Thundercats and He-Man got comic book miniseries, I kept waiting for She-Ra, but it never happened. It didn't even seem like anyone even thought about it. This just completely amazes me, because I've been watching my She-Ra DVDs lately and it holds up the best out of all of them. I suppose it's the whole issue with female action hero thing that The Hollywood Reporter had an article on a couple of weeks ago, but I think if there was ever a property that had the potential changing that and being a real success, it would be She-Ra, possibly even more than Wonder Woman.

The whole storyline of the She-Ra series deals with so many of the issues that we already know resonate with people from the successes of other franchises. She-Ra is the champion of the rebel forces on the planet of Etheria who are trying to overthrow the evil Horde Empire. The similarities to Star Wars are self explanatory, and, of course, Lord of the Rings. It's a classic story, and one tat I think has a lot more potential than Thundercats, which, when watched as an adult, did not hold up nearly as well. Thundercats is basically the story of a handful of people (or cats, however you want to look at them) trying to defend themselves from Mumm-Ra, a villain with little motivation. The stakes aren't even very high there, with less than a dozen people on the entire planet. (Yes, I do know that more showed up later, but it hardly matched the oppression of an entire civilization.) She-Ra, as a character, is also a lot more interesting than He-Man. His alter ego, Prince Adam is over privileged and He-Man is a tool of the established government. Skeletor, the villain, is more of an under dog than he is, and he was cooler too. She-Ra, on the other hand, has the alter ego of Princess Adora, a competent heroine in her own right, and her backstory of having been raised by Hordak, the Horde ruler on Etheria, only to discover she had been deluded into believing she served a just ruler has a great deal of dramatic potential.

Basically, with She-Ra, a studio gets both a classic story in the vein of Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, and even Harry Potter and a nostalgia property like Transformers, He-Man, and Thundercats. They should be all over that. Also, she's got a flying horse, a cool sword, really pretty hair, and her friends were all sorceresses and mermaids and ladies with wings. There is no bad in this concept. The fact that she's an excellent role model is just a bonus. Seriously, She-Ra is one of the greatest things ever. Hollywood needs to get on this.

Maybe if He-Man is a big success, they will want to do a spin off. That would make sense. I would even be OK with it if they wanted to make some minor changes. Some of the characters had hokey names, like Castaspella. I get why that might be a problem. And if producers think Bow should be a bit cooler and not so much of a damsel in distress (what's the male version of damsel?), it could work. I know I wouldn't mind seeing a Teela who does more than get captured in the He-Man movie. They just can't have Bow and She-Ra hook up. If they need a romantic interest, they can use Sea Hawk. He's a pirate, which just adds to the awesome factor and would give the movie an element of another proven Hollywood commodity. (The money making potential just keeps getting better and better.) However, if producers want to take She-Ra and make it into something that wouldn't be suitable for little kids, make her any less of the amazing role model that she was meant to be, or cast someone like Jessica Simpson, I'd rather they just not bother. I have no desire to see my childhood memories desecrated.

New and Improved Supergirl

Last night, as I was writing my review of Action Comics #850, with the beautiful Renato Guedes art, I was reminded of the interview I read over at The Pulse with Tony Bedard and how excited I am about his and Guedes' upcoming run on Supergirl. Supergirl is a character I was never all that familiar with. The original was already dead by the time I started reading comics. Also, when I first got into comics, I was all about Spider-Man and the X-Men, only reading the occasional Superman or Batman story when something was specifically recommended to me, like Arkham Asylum. I was exposed to the Matrix Supergirl (that's what she's called right?) during the Death of Superman/Reign of the Supermen arcs, and upon asking what her deal was, became thoroughly confused by the answers. She didn't match up at all with the little I knew of Supergirl from the movie, and when combined with the whole Lex Luthor has hair and he's good and Supergirl is dating him thing...well, I just figured it was best to stick with Storm, Jean Grey, Rogue, and Jubilee. Then that Supergirl was gone too (I have no idea how). When Supergirl was brought back this time, it was at a point when I was just getting interested in DC Comics, thanks to Justice League Unlimited and a newfound love of all things Bruce Timm, so I might have been interested in Supergirl. I certainly liked her on the cartoons, but the new comic book incarnation was drawn by Michael Turner. Big turn off.

After all that, it's kind of weird that I can get excited about the character now. Well, Renato Guedes on art helps. As I mentioned in my Action Comics #850 review, I'm in love with his work, and his concept art for Supergirl looks great. She's not emaciated, which is always nice.

I'm pretty certain the up the skirt Marilyn Monroe shot was done so that we would know that the 16-year-old girl is actually wearing shorts under her skirt as she flies high over everyone's heads. I think my favorite thing is the cape though. It almost seems a little too big for her. This Supergirl is attractive, and and her costume isn't all that different, though maybe the skirt is a little bit longer, but there's an awkwardness about her too. That's the part that gets me. Teenagers are awkward. That's what makes being a teenager suck so much.

More than the art though, which, again, is Guedes, so it probably could have gotten me to buy the comic on that alone, I like what Tony Bedard has to say:

BEDARD: Well, I think that just because they're all "strong females" doesn't mean they're all alike. Supergirl's a teenager and still relatively new to Earth, so she'll be more naive than Black Canary, who's a seasoned veteran. With Birds of Prey, the whole point of the team is that everyone brings a different type of strength to the mix, so you try and write accordingly. Hopefully, I manage to pull it off.

BEDARD: I'd already handled her some in Legion of Super-Heroes, so she wasn't a complete stranger. Then I read through the current run to see what's been done so far. Mostly I try to remember what it felt like to be a teenager and to be the new kid in a strange place, and to slowly discover the complexities of life and the way the world works, which would actually be harder to do if you're super-powerful and have all these expectations thrust upon you by everyone you meet.

I have basic expectations about what's appropriate for a character with the "S" on her chest. I don't think that's a limitation -- it points the way toward the proper area in which to search for fresh material. She's not a dark avenger or Goth punk. She's a strange visitor from another planet who should embody all that's best in humanity and in America. That's right, America. The land of immigrants who make good.

BEDARD: I'm just getting going, so I'm waiting to see what Renato does on this story, but I'm very excited about it. This guy is brilliant! I saw some character studies he did of Supergirl, and they're brilliant. Now, if I was 17 and ruled by hormones, the zero-bodyfat, nearly-naked Supergirl would probably be my fave. But Renato's take is much more like a living, breathing person, which makes her all the more endearing and fascinating. This guy is on his way to Tony Harris-style fame and fortune, and I'm honored to have a chance to work with him.

I'm not familiar with Bedard's other work, but it just seems like he's interested writing the kind of teenage superhero I am interested in reading. I don't know why, but there is something about coming of age stories and superpowers that go together really well, and consequently, I am always interested in new teenage characters. I love Young Avengers and Runaways and my two all time favorite characters are Peter Parker and Buffy Summers. But the whole appeal of these characters is completely blown if the characters don't feel real, distinctive, and relateable. Since comic books are a visual medium, part of that has to be the character's appearance. Would Peter Parker have been half as interesting when he was first introduced if it wasn't for his geekiness? Tony Bedard seems to get that.

Also, he realizes "strong females" aren't an interchangeable type, like spunky sidekick or something, which makes me look forward to the rest of his work, several of which I had already planned on picking up, like his issues of Birds of Prey. The fact that he has a sense of what's appropriate for a character that wears the "S" is nice too. There are expectations that come with that crest and I think to many creators are willing to disregard that, but it's something that has meant a lot to people for decades, and that baggage can't just be erased because a new writer or artist wants to be edgy.

Scout Attacks! week 14: To Grandmother's House I Go

I'm thinking my favorite comic of the week will be as much of a surprise to you as it was to me. It really had no right to be as good as it was.

Countdown #48: This issue wasn't as good as last week's, but it's held my attention for at least another week. I really want to see what's going to happen with Mary Marvel and Black Adam, since he's still got my interest held over from 52. Also, Jimmy Olsen had superspeed this week, so I really want to know what the deal is with his spontaneously appearing powers. Finally, something shadowy and mysterious killed a New God named Lightray. Superman got very melodramatic about it, finishing his sentences in big red letters. They're setting up a lot of potentially interesting things here, it's just not nearly as accessible as 52 was and far less character driven, which was the real strength of that series. All that is making it a bit difficult to get really invested in this series, especially since so much of it is interwoven with what is going on in the rest of the DCU.

Action Comics #850: Renato Guedes is back! I love him. Seriously. I want to marry this art and have its babies. OK. That's an exaggeration. I want to marry John Cassaday's art and have its babies. This art can be my starter marriage. Anyway, this anniversary issue was a nice look at Superman continuity as it stands now in the One Year Later DCU, without giving everything a way so there's still plenty to reveal in the year(s) to come, which is why it makes sense that this issue was written by the three main Superman writers. Also, we got to see Krypto, which was cool (but also a dirty tease since we are still waiting on Busiek's Krypto story), and the look at all the different versions of Superman was a lot of fun. This issue gets bonus points for making fun of his 1990s hair style. I love stories that touch on Superman's isolation. The way the story jumped around, it was hard to get a really capitalize on the emotion of that, but they did a good job of capturing what his life is like in a few key moments. I thought the scene where Flash asked for his autograph, showing that even the other superheroes see him as something other, and his dinner with Lois were especially poignant. What this story did an excellent job of showing was how Supergirl came to understand her cousin better and how much it must mean to him to have her in his life now. I'm sure it's not to everyone's liking, but I find the interaction between them to be pretty realistically familial.

Amazons Attack #2: I think this issue made it pretty clear that there's something wrong with Hippolyta, since even the other Amazons are questioning her judgment now. I'm guessing she's either not really Hippolyta or Circe brought her back from the dead wrong somehow. If this was Marvel, I would say she was a zombie. I liked the first issue of this series, but now it just seems superfluous. What exactly is being provided here that's necessary to the story that we are not getting in Wonder Woman? I suppose we're getting to see what the other superheroes are doing, but since they're really not doing much, it doesn't seem like we needed to see more of them than we did in the last issue of Wonder Woman. We did get the obligatory scene where Batman questioned Wonder Woman's loyalty. Just once I would love to see the inevitable moment of silence while Batman decides whether or not he believes the other person to end with him saying "I'm just messin' with ya. Pretending to be the old un-trusting asshole I used to be. Bad joke. Sorry. My old Bat-dick days are way behind me." It's never going to happen though. The big cliffhanger is Superman rushing off to Kansas to save his parents. Whatever. They're not going to die. They're going to survive so that later in the year Jonathan Kent can die of a heart attack.

Justice Society of America #6: This was a weird issue because a ton of stuff happened, but also nothing at all happened. And the only thing I know about the Legion of Superheroes is what I have learned from the Saturday morning cartoon (I'll miss you Ferro Lad. *sniffle*), so all that stuff was really confusing to me. What I did learn this issue is that Liberty Belle is one of those obnoxious newly married people who want to marry off everyone else. I did like the reference to Kingdom Come (Earth 22) and he fact that the Multiverse is what messed up Starman's head. I do think something fairly intriguing is being set up here between this crossover and Countdown with regard to all that and I just think it sucks that it's going to take all year to get to the bottom of it. There's also a really cool fight with a robot tentacle monster, who I think the reader is expected to recognize as someone, but I don't. It still looks great though. I kind of love Eaglesham's art. He's draws really pretty men too. I'm just saying. His Karate Kid could totally land a starring role on a CW show.

New Avengers Illuminati: This issue had a huge retcon with regard to the Beyonder, and frankly, my memory isn't good enough to say whether it worked or not. Being free of the burdens of continuity as I am, this was a pretty enjoyable issue. Not as good as the first two, but interesting. (It's also possible that I would enjoy anything with Jim Cheung's art, since I'm still in Young Avengers withdrawal after all this time.) I really liked Black Bolt here with his struggle to remember, and also Namor's understanding of how to deal with the Beyonder because he was the only one who understood how a king relates to his subject, and vice versa. That was a nice touch. I am curious on one point though. Am I missing a crucial part of Dr. Strange's backstory with regard to his love interests or is his greatest desire simply to have a threesome? That seems a little unambitious, considering Namor wants to take over the surface world. Finally, while I'm enjoying this series, I'm concerned about where exactly it is heading. With the gems from the Infinity Gauntlet divided between the members of the Illuminati, all of whom are about to get their asses kicked by the Hulk, and the Beyonder running around somewhere on Earth, it seems like the pieces are being put into place for Marvel to pull their own version of Superboy Prime punching time.

Spider-Man Fairy Tales #1: I fully admit to being a complete sucker for Spidey. I've gotten better over the years. I don't feel the need to pick up every single comic with him in it. I've gotten so good that I am currently only reading one of his monthly titles (though the urge to pick up the other 2 main Marvel universe titles is strong), but when something new comes out I am physically compelled to at least give it a try. What I am saying is, I didn't want to buy this comic book. I had to buy this comic book, and I am so glad I did. It was by far the most enjoyable thing I read this week, and it was a fairly decent week. Anyway, I loved it. It was adorable. I want this to officially replace the actual Little Red Riding Hood story as the one that is commonly known. People should be reading this to their children at night. You might ask why I think that, and I will tell you. First of all, it is Spider-Man, which makes everything better. Second of all, Mary Jane is all about her independence and not being a damsel in distress. She's a much better role model than the average fairy tale character. Peter too is great as a boy who believes he's meant for something a little bit more than just being your average wood cutter. In the end they learn that it's all about working together and being equals. Also, kudos to C.B Cebulski for distilling several years of the Peter/MJ marital life into one little fable. As great a job as I think J. M. Strazynski has done with that relationship, Cebulski managed to get the same point across in one comic. My one disappointment with this story was that I expected the Big Bad Wolf to turn out to be recognizable as one of the regular Spidey villains. I suppose it could have been Venom, or at least the symbiote, but it just looked like a big, black, shadowy wolf.

Spider-Man Fairy Tales also raised another question with me about the Marvel ratings system. It seemed perfectly suitable for "All Ages," but it was rated "A." I'm further confused by the fact that Illuminati is rated "T+," which I would have thought would be for slightly younger readers than "A." However, the "A" rated Spider-Man Fairy Tales was all perfectly innocent, while the "T+" rated Illuminati had two panels of Dr. Strange in bed with two obviously naked women. This is going to require further investigation.