Monday, May 21, 2007

Scout Attacks! week 12: Hookers, Gorillas, Ducklings and the Goddamn Batman

Before I begin, I would just like to ask why the hell didn't I buy Batman and Robin the Boy Wonder #5? Look at it. It is awesome. I'm thinking of changing my Cyclops quote to either "Out of my way, sperm bank" or "I love being the goddamn Batman!" What is Frank Miller smoking and can I have some?

Action Comics #849: I like what Nicieza was trying to do with this storyline, or at least what I think he was trying to do, but I don't think it really worked. Religion and faith are always a tough subjects to tackle, especially in a mainstream superhero comic where it can't really be tackled head on. I did like the way he wrote Clark/Superman and the fact that Nicieza had Clark ask himself these questions though. When a character professes to believe in something, stand for something, as Superman does, it is important for it what those beliefs actually mean to be addressed periodically. I just think it falls flat here. It's not as compelling as it should be. Still, I think this issue may have been a bit better than the last. The art burns my eyes less, at the very least. I'm not sure though if that's because it's actually better or because I was prepared for it this month.

Batman #665: First of all, I want to say that this issue has a pretty creepy and cool cover. The thing that strikes me most about what Morrison is doing with Batman is not all the craziness, which I do appreciate, but how much humanity he brings to the character. It's always been interesting to me that this character whose main selling point is that he has no super powers is always written as almost completely inhuman in his abilities. Morrison's Batman may be able to do some incredible things, but it's a struggle for him. He has fears. He has pain. He has limitations. He also writes Bruce Wayne as an actual part of who he is rather than just a facade. Maybe this isn't all that new for some people, but from my limited experience with Batman comics, it's fairly rare. I much prefer it this way though. Anyway, alot of stuff happens in this issue. Batman gets his ass saved by a hooker, has a dream that references the three ghosts in Dickens' A Christmas Carol, and reminds us that his back was once broken. (Hey, why was he able to heel his broken back enough to get back to being Batman but Barbara is still in a wheel chair? What gives?) Tim sets off to prove that he's a way better and more worthy son than that crazy Damien kid and almost gets killed. Batman literally rubs himself down in testosterone in order to get enough mojo going to defeat the huge, hooker killing, fake Batman, then chats with Gordon about the big ass conspiracy against him. Meanwhile, Talia is all jealous because Bruce is making out with that supermodel he went out with last issue and Damien needs a full organ harvest and replacement, but his mama's proud of him. (Again, full organ harvest and replacement, and I am sure he will get back to be the bestest little assassin ever, but Barbara is still in a wheel chair. It's like they never even tried to get her better.) It's good stuff. I am really enjoying Morrison's run here.

Countdown #50: I still don't know what I think about this series. A lot of this stuff doesn't make much sense, and I don't mean that in a good way, or even in a I-have-limited-knowledge-of the DC Universe-so-I-don't-get-it way. It's just off. The cliffhanger with Jimmy Olsen is the perfect example of this. Also, how does Jimmy know everyone in the Bat-family's secret identities? Has Supes been a little too loose lipped with his pal? What I do like about this is the Law & Order-like tone to the scene where Jimmy is interviewing Red Hood for information, and the Hannibal Lecter/Clarice Starling vibe I get from Jimmy interviewing the Joker. I find that to be especially promising. The Mary Marvel plot is intriguing, but it would clearly help to be more invested in the character going into it. The scenes with flash's Rogues gallery are entertaining, but feel pointless. There's a lot of harping on trust issues and harping on the Trickster and Pied Piper being turncoats. I'm already getting impatient with that. Finally, this issus also includes the missing Batman/Karate Kid fight from Justice League of America. I'm happy to see that Batman didn't win - he needed help from Black Lightning - just because he got all jealous about Superman ranking Karate Kid as a higher level fighter. Don't worry Batman. Karate Kid may be a better fighter, but Superman still loves you best.

Fables #61: I'm going to get right to it. I am psyched about the reveal of who the Forsworn Knight is (or was, since he's dead) and I hope it leads to us getting to see more of the characters from those particular stories. I also really want to know how he got to be the Forsworn Knight. I'm really worried about Fly Catcher though. I already kind of miss the lovable character he used to be. If anything bad happens to him, I swear....I don't know. I guess I'll be really sad but I will keep reading. Everything else is more talk of intrigue and war plans. Things are obviously building to something big and despite the fact that it is just a lot of talk at this point, the building tension is making for a really good read.

Justice League of America #9: This issue is a little weird because it's still just a lot of talking, but there's also a lot of stuff going on. And we are heavily into a lot of DC continuity and character stuff that I don't understand at all. Frankly, I'm a bit lost on everything. Brad Meltzer just seems to be having so much fun writing this though, and I find it somewhat infectious. Also, I'm really enjoying some of these characters. (Unfortunately, I think I am going to have to start reading JSA, because Power Girl is awesome.) Oddly enough, the thing I didn't get that bothered me most of all was when the group that went to Thanagar to find the Legionnaire Dawnstar, and she wasn't there but someone with her Legionnaire ring is, Roy just randomly monologues about how Hawkman will never get that just because you truly loved one person, it doesn't mean you can't truly love another. What does that mean? Is Hawkman going to fall in love with Dawnstar, or this woman that they thought was Dawnstar but wasn't? Really weird. Anyway, the thing I loved about this issue was the trip to Gorilla City. That two page spread with the Gorillas racing on the dinosaurs was freaking awesome. However, there is no way that Vixen, channeling a cheetah, could keep pace with a Flash, even an old one.

Ultimates #13: It would be so much better if this issue wasn't so late that I can't remember what actually happened in the previous issues. I believe there was more awesomeness before though. I'm glad that Thor didn't turn out to be crazy. That huge spread is just ridiculous. Incredible stuff there. It was, however, really hard to look at on the train, which is where I read this issue. I really wish Millar would stop doing that thing where the hero, or whoever is down, then says something inappropriately smug considering he's down for the count, and then BAM! There's a reversal, whether it be an Asgardian army or Vision showing up to disable Iron Man's army. That's gotten really old, and has been really old since well before Millar even had a career. It's a tired cliche in any medium. Also, it's amazing how much I like drunken, womanizing douchebag Ultimate Tony Stark. Maybe it's because he's an acknowledged as an asshole by himself and others. Also, the drunken Howard Hughes charm goes a long way. Finally, just to show how Millar's Ultimates takes things too the most disturbing extreme of the regular Marvel Universe, we have the continued relationship between Janet and Hank Pym and the Scarlet Witch flirts with an Ultron robot. The thing that really won me over about this issue though was the Captain America flashback at the end. It was a nice book end to Millar and Hitch's story, which started with Captain America way back in Ultimates 1 #1.

X-Men: First Class Special: I love this issue just as much as all the other ones. I don;'t think you are ever going to get a complaint from me about this series. It is pure love. Anyway, this Special is made up of three rather sweet and funny short stories, and three mini comics, all written by Jeff Parker but with different artists. I believe my favorite of the stories is "A Girl and Her Dragon" with art by Paul Smith. Maybe it's just my love for Jean Grey, but this one was especially sweet, and the art was fantastic. The mini comics, all with art by Colleen Coover, were just adorable. I don't think anyone has ever seen a story about Magneto and public restrooms or the X-Men and little ducklings before, but I think the world is a little better now that we have. However, much like Parker's Spider-Man and the Fantastic Four series, I am baffled by the rating. It's obvious that this series is geered towards younger readers, yet the rating is "A" instead of "AA." I am correct in my belief that "A" stands for "Adult" and "AA" stands for "All Ages." Aren't I?

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