Scout Attacks! week 13: The One Where I Have Memory Trouble

I read these comics on Wednesday and Thursday of last week, but couldn't write the reviews until now because I went away for the weekend. I'm not sure I remember them all that well. I had trouble finding the comics when I sat down to do this too, so I wasn't even sure I remembered what I was supposed to review. This is going to be tough, so don't expect too much from me. Good thing it was a light week.

Countdown #49: This was a make it or break it week for this book. I was set to stop buying it, but this issue guaranteed that I would be back next week at the very least. That's largely due to the last page cliffhanger with Mary Marvel and Black Adam. Also, while the resolution to the previous week's cliffhanger with Jimmy Olsen made as little sense as the cliffhanger itself, the fact that it looks like someone has been slipping him Ralph Dibny's Gingold Juice is pretty interesting. Considering how little I remember of everything else, I'm going to say that it was pretty meh, but I think the stuff with the Monitors and Flash's rogues have potential.

Birds of Prey #106: This issue was pretty much just one big brawl, and tons of fun. All the match ups are entertaining in and of themselves and provide a bunch of nice little character moments. Misfit versus Harley Quinn is just delightful and I am really enjoying the Huntress/Catman interaction. Finally, I know absolutely nothing about Ice, but if her power is to create and control a giant ice monster, that is so cool. So. So. Cool. Oh yeah, and I'm going to go out on a limb and say that Scandal isn't dead, since there's a coffin on next month's cover. That always means fake out.

Wonder Woman #9: I have to say that while the writing still isn't great, Jodi Picoult is improving with every issue. It's actually a shame that her run is almost over. I think if she had another arc on the title, it might have been really good. It would have been even better if she had worked on a less high profile character first before trying her hand at Wonder Woman. As usual, there's interesting stuff going on here, but the execution just feels a bit off in places. For example, the joke about aiming for a metaphor by toppling the Washington Monument was a good one, it just felt forced. Also, I kind of felt like Black Canary should have said it instead of Batman. And I just never know how I feel about Nemesis. He can be obnoxious, and he's clearly got a super heroine fetish, but sometimes his interaction Diana is cute. I still can't get my head around the idea of them together though. Then there's Diana's interaction with her mother. I love what Picoult is going for here. The blind faith that her mother would never do anything like this coupled with the desperate desire to have her mother back is so real and honest. Anyway, all the players seem to be putting the pieces of the conspiracy puzzle together. Everyman's involvement makes me wonder if perhaps Lex Luthor is involved somehow, since last time we saw him, at least that I know of, he was still working for Luthor back in 52. The book ends with Circe getting a spear to the chest and fading away Yoda-style. Somehow I don't think a goddess can be killed like that though. On a final note, Dodson's art is beautiful, as always, but looks a bit rushed in some places, particularly at the beginning (and I can't be the only person that hates the way he draws Superman's face). Everything at the end looks incredible though.

Captain America #26: I think I would love anything in this book just because of Epting's art. It's phenomenal. Fortunately, Brubaker is still doing great things with this story. This issue had a really good balance between the ongoing storyline with the Red Skull and having the supporting characters deal with Cap's death. It still amazes me how well bringing Bucky back has worked. I don't think it will ever stop amazing me, because it really, really should have sucked. He really shouldn't try and kill Tony Stark though. As much as that might make me laugh, Cap wouldn't have liked it and Bucky really needs to get out of the cycle of violence and death. Also, poor Sharon. Her head's been royally fucked with. that is so not cool. I didn't know that Cap and her aunt were once a thing though. That's kind of creepy. Falcon's the only one of them who's holding it together. One last thing. Does Arnim Zola remind anyone else of Krang? It's the whole exosuit thing.

So, I kind of fucked up Spider-Man month. I'm disappointed with myself about that, but in the past two months, I have been blogging a lot more than I ever had before. That counts for something, right? Anyway, I still plan on doing my post about Sensational Spider-Man Annual #1. That would have been done last week, but my scanner mysteriously stopped working, and the whole fun of that post was going to be the pictures. It seems to have mysteriously started working again, so I will get to that soon. The other posts I had planned I will just do when I had originally planned to do them before I decided to declare May Spider-Man month. And, of course, I'm still me, so there will be other Spidey related posts that pop up, I am sure.

Brotherly Love

So I wound up watching the season finale's of both Supernatural and Heroes on the same night, which made for an excellent two hours of television viewing, but was also a bit emotional for me. It struck me that both season finales were about familial bonds and specifically those between brothers. Nathan Petrelli and Dean Winchester both made huge sacrificed themselves for their brothers, and while that wasn't really an unexpected gesture from Dean, Nathan's loyalties had been in question. More than anything in the whole Heroes finale, and possibly more than anything I had seen on television all year, I rooted for Nathan to do the right thing, so while some people might have found the season ender a bit of a let down, I was thoroughly moved. There may have even been an audible cheer.

There was plenty of other stuff to cheer about on Heroes too. Claire continued to be awesome, standing up to everyone and just generally being...awesome. I probably cheered a bit when she jumped out that window to get away from Nathan and Mama Petrelli too. Niki was also amazing. All season long I had been a bit frustrated with where they were going with that character. Her arc had its ups and downs, but she came into her own in the finale. I loved seeing this woman who was so fractured become whole and own her powers was incredibly gratifying. I'm really excited to see what they do with her next season. I hope she gets to kick some ass. What I loved most though was that everyone became the hero they were meant to be in this episode. They all contributed and proved their mettle.

They also set up a villain for nest season, and Hiro traveled back in time. How cool is that? I just don't know how I feel about the potential of losing both Petrelli brothers next season. The cast will be significantly less pretty without them. I do feel fairly certain that Peter will be back. With his healing factor, he's hard to kill, but all Nathan can do is fly. How are they going to explain it if he doesn't die? But I really don't want him to be dead. Adrian Pasdar is the best. He doesn't deserve to be killed off now that he finally has a successful show. And did Sylar get away down the sewer, or did someone, or some thing, take his body? I was thinking that maybe it had something to do with the new villain. The thing is, Heroes has proved it has the balls to kill off characters, but it's also based on comic books, a medium in which death is only a temporary setback. Basically, they can do anything, which is what is so unbelievably cool. Also, did I mention Hiro going back in time?

Anyway, tons of love for the Heroes finale. Slightly less, but not by much, love for the Supernatural finale. The thing about that finale was that there was no way they could live up to last year's finale. Last year they rammed a truck into the Metallicar. That's hardcore. This season finale was obviously trying to simultaneously wrap things up in case the show wasn't renewed and set up next season in case it was. That lead to the ending being a bit anticlimactic, but the relationship between the Winchester brothers is even more powerful than the Petrellis'. Dean never fails to break my heart. Between his love for Sammy, his lack of self-worth, and the fact that he's been brought back from the dead at the cost of someone else twice now, what he did was no surprise. I just have no idea what they are going to do to get out of it. There is no way he's going to risk Sam possibly dying. Also, what's the deal with Sam? Did he come back a little bit wrong, because he seemed to take a lot more pleasure in shooting that guy than I would have expected? The one thing I did think was really strange was that didn't even have a line. That was weird, right? It was pretty clear how proud he was of his boys and how much he loved them though.

All and all, I liked how both shows focused on the familial bonds that have beeb so key to everything throughout the season, whether it was Nathan Petrelli protecting his brother and newly found daughter from having to do things that they would never be able to live with, Niki finally realizing that she was the one with the power to protect her family, or Dean refusing to let Sam go, they all touched on the emotional threads that had been building all season. It might have been nice if there was a bit more action in both finales. There was plenty of potential for that in both, but considering how much these shows actually made me feel something for the characters, which is more of a rarity than one would think, I can overlook that.

The Whole Mary Jane Mess

I don't really comment on this sort of thing, but I notice that the brouhaha over Showcase's recently released Mary Jane statue has even gotten a mention by Gary Susman over at EW.com's PopWatch earlier this week, and, from what I've read, Fox.com also. It got me thinking about a lot of things that I have had on my mind for a while. I honestly think this whole thing has gotten a bit out of hand. Yes, I do think it's sexist, but there are worse things out there. Maybe I'm just desensitized to these things from being a lifelong comics fan though. I don't know. It's not something I really feel the need to get into. Plenty of people already have, but I would like to point specifically to this post at The Beat. Of everything I've read, which is far less than is actually out there on the issue, Heidi MacDonald has detailed the issue, and the problem, the best. I just wanted to say that considering how much attention this has gotten in the non-comics community, it would be nice if Marvel and DC really put a bit more thought into how they present themselves.

Both companies claim that they want to appeal more to female readers, and to this end there has been at least some effort made by both companies. DC especially has made strides with the Minx line, appealing to female readers to start reading Supergirl and actually making changes to the title based on complaints by female readers (the costume could use some more work though, I'm just sayin'), and trying to put more female superheroes at the forefront in general. Marvel, not as adept at this apparently, publishes Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane (and that alone should have clued them in to the problem with the Mary Jane statue), is pushing Ms. Marvel, and had that Laurel K. Hamilton vampire series. Oh, and they did a tie-in with a soap opera. I'm not certain how effective any of this has been for them. I just think that they have to realize that as long as the image they present is one of nothing but cheesecake imagery for horny teenage boys, girls are going to look at the big two companies and assume that they don't produce anything that is for them. I'm not talking about girls being offended or thinking that the comics industry is sexist. I'm just saying that girls look at the image that is projected through the covers on the comics, the merchandise they produce, and the major magazines that promote the industry and assume that nothing either Marvel or DC produces is anything that they would be interested in.

I am not saying that all cheesecake has to be done away with. I am also not saying that I want all comics to have unattractive women in them. Believe me, I don't want to see that any more than any man does. I'm just saying to be a little more careful where the cheesecake is used and on what characters. By all means, keep the naked Shanna the She Devil, but maybe keep the overt sexualization out of the mainstream comics. Does Justice League #10 really need that horrible Michael Turner cover to sell? Is it really appropriate to release that statue of Mary Jane when she is a character that not only does Marvel use to target young female readers, but is also the leading lady of such a hugely successful summer blockbuster as Spider-Man III thereby guaranteeing that it is going to get a lot of attention. (And how did it not occur to them that a significant amount of that attention was going to be negative?)

If DC and Marvel really want to widen their readership, I think that part of that has to be changing their public image. It's like the cigarette industry. Back in the days before filters were on all cigarettes, Marlboros were considered a milder cigarette and marketed towards women. Once the industry changed, Marlboro wasn't the milder option anymore. They had to change their image in order to appeal to a new demographic. That's when they came up with the Marlboro Man. Well, the comic book industry is changing. Girls are reading comic books. They're just not reading Marvel and DC. I know that there are comics out there that a lot of women might like. These companies produce Manhunter, Birds of Prey, Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane and Alias. Marvel and DC are capable of producing the product when they actually try. They just really need to work on their image if they want to actually get the girls to buy the product. As long as Wonder Woman, Supergirl, Ms. Marvel, etc. are nestled on the racks between a bunch of images that are obviously going to turn girls away, there's no reason that any girl should venture over from the Manga section to check it out with any reasonable expectation that the content is going to be any different than everything else they see over there. I'm not even talking about anything nearly as drastic as what Marlboro did, because it's not about trying to change your entire demographic. It's simply about nt conciously alienating an entire group of potnetial readers. And wouldn't everyone benefit from that kind of image change? Marvel and DC might sell more comics, and male comics fans might not be so stereotyped.

Also, I would be lying if I didn't admit that, as a personal favorite of mine, I'd prefer not to see Mary Jane Watson treated like that. She may be a supermodel (and that's a rant for a different post), but that doesn't mean she shouldn't be treated like a person. And if you keep looking at her like that, Spidey's totally going to kick your ass, and you really do not want that. He's Back in Black now and he's throwing people out windows. ETA: What am I thinking? Screw Spidey. Mary Jane'll kick your ass. You ever see what she did to the Chameleon?

Anyway, everyone knows that Mary Jane doesn't hand wash Spider-Man's laundry. If anyone's doing Spidey's laundry for him, it would be Aunt May. Now do you really want little old Aunt May to hurt her back by bending over that much? I didn't think so, so let's get a higher table for that bucket. OK?

[Edited because a very good point was made that I didn't even think about. I apologize for that.]

Scout Attacks! week 12: Hookers, Gorillas, Ducklings and the Goddamn Batman

Before I begin, I would just like to ask why the hell didn't I buy Batman and Robin the Boy Wonder #5? Look at it. It is awesome. I'm thinking of changing my Cyclops quote to either "Out of my way, sperm bank" or "I love being the goddamn Batman!" What is Frank Miller smoking and can I have some?

Action Comics #849: I like what Nicieza was trying to do with this storyline, or at least what I think he was trying to do, but I don't think it really worked. Religion and faith are always a tough subjects to tackle, especially in a mainstream superhero comic where it can't really be tackled head on. I did like the way he wrote Clark/Superman and the fact that Nicieza had Clark ask himself these questions though. When a character professes to believe in something, stand for something, as Superman does, it is important for it what those beliefs actually mean to be addressed periodically. I just think it falls flat here. It's not as compelling as it should be. Still, I think this issue may have been a bit better than the last. The art burns my eyes less, at the very least. I'm not sure though if that's because it's actually better or because I was prepared for it this month.

Batman #665: First of all, I want to say that this issue has a pretty creepy and cool cover. The thing that strikes me most about what Morrison is doing with Batman is not all the craziness, which I do appreciate, but how much humanity he brings to the character. It's always been interesting to me that this character whose main selling point is that he has no super powers is always written as almost completely inhuman in his abilities. Morrison's Batman may be able to do some incredible things, but it's a struggle for him. He has fears. He has pain. He has limitations. He also writes Bruce Wayne as an actual part of who he is rather than just a facade. Maybe this isn't all that new for some people, but from my limited experience with Batman comics, it's fairly rare. I much prefer it this way though. Anyway, alot of stuff happens in this issue. Batman gets his ass saved by a hooker, has a dream that references the three ghosts in Dickens' A Christmas Carol, and reminds us that his back was once broken. (Hey, why was he able to heel his broken back enough to get back to being Batman but Barbara is still in a wheel chair? What gives?) Tim sets off to prove that he's a way better and more worthy son than that crazy Damien kid and almost gets killed. Batman literally rubs himself down in testosterone in order to get enough mojo going to defeat the huge, hooker killing, fake Batman, then chats with Gordon about the big ass conspiracy against him. Meanwhile, Talia is all jealous because Bruce is making out with that supermodel he went out with last issue and Damien needs a full organ harvest and replacement, but his mama's proud of him. (Again, full organ harvest and replacement, and I am sure he will get back to be the bestest little assassin ever, but Barbara is still in a wheel chair. It's like they never even tried to get her better.) It's good stuff. I am really enjoying Morrison's run here.

Countdown #50: I still don't know what I think about this series. A lot of this stuff doesn't make much sense, and I don't mean that in a good way, or even in a I-have-limited-knowledge-of the DC Universe-so-I-don't-get-it way. It's just off. The cliffhanger with Jimmy Olsen is the perfect example of this. Also, how does Jimmy know everyone in the Bat-family's secret identities? Has Supes been a little too loose lipped with his pal? What I do like about this is the Law & Order-like tone to the scene where Jimmy is interviewing Red Hood for information, and the Hannibal Lecter/Clarice Starling vibe I get from Jimmy interviewing the Joker. I find that to be especially promising. The Mary Marvel plot is intriguing, but it would clearly help to be more invested in the character going into it. The scenes with flash's Rogues gallery are entertaining, but feel pointless. There's a lot of harping on trust issues and harping on the Trickster and Pied Piper being turncoats. I'm already getting impatient with that. Finally, this issus also includes the missing Batman/Karate Kid fight from Justice League of America. I'm happy to see that Batman didn't win - he needed help from Black Lightning - just because he got all jealous about Superman ranking Karate Kid as a higher level fighter. Don't worry Batman. Karate Kid may be a better fighter, but Superman still loves you best.

Fables #61: I'm going to get right to it. I am psyched about the reveal of who the Forsworn Knight is (or was, since he's dead) and I hope it leads to us getting to see more of the characters from those particular stories. I also really want to know how he got to be the Forsworn Knight. I'm really worried about Fly Catcher though. I already kind of miss the lovable character he used to be. If anything bad happens to him, I swear....I don't know. I guess I'll be really sad but I will keep reading. Everything else is more talk of intrigue and war plans. Things are obviously building to something big and despite the fact that it is just a lot of talk at this point, the building tension is making for a really good read.

Justice League of America #9: This issue is a little weird because it's still just a lot of talking, but there's also a lot of stuff going on. And we are heavily into a lot of DC continuity and character stuff that I don't understand at all. Frankly, I'm a bit lost on everything. Brad Meltzer just seems to be having so much fun writing this though, and I find it somewhat infectious. Also, I'm really enjoying some of these characters. (Unfortunately, I think I am going to have to start reading JSA, because Power Girl is awesome.) Oddly enough, the thing I didn't get that bothered me most of all was when the group that went to Thanagar to find the Legionnaire Dawnstar, and she wasn't there but someone with her Legionnaire ring is, Roy just randomly monologues about how Hawkman will never get that just because you truly loved one person, it doesn't mean you can't truly love another. What does that mean? Is Hawkman going to fall in love with Dawnstar, or this woman that they thought was Dawnstar but wasn't? Really weird. Anyway, the thing I loved about this issue was the trip to Gorilla City. That two page spread with the Gorillas racing on the dinosaurs was freaking awesome. However, there is no way that Vixen, channeling a cheetah, could keep pace with a Flash, even an old one.

Ultimates #13: It would be so much better if this issue wasn't so late that I can't remember what actually happened in the previous issues. I believe there was more awesomeness before though. I'm glad that Thor didn't turn out to be crazy. That huge spread is just ridiculous. Incredible stuff there. It was, however, really hard to look at on the train, which is where I read this issue. I really wish Millar would stop doing that thing where the hero, or whoever is down, then says something inappropriately smug considering he's down for the count, and then BAM! There's a reversal, whether it be an Asgardian army or Vision showing up to disable Iron Man's army. That's gotten really old, and has been really old since well before Millar even had a career. It's a tired cliche in any medium. Also, it's amazing how much I like drunken, womanizing douchebag Ultimate Tony Stark. Maybe it's because he's an acknowledged as an asshole by himself and others. Also, the drunken Howard Hughes charm goes a long way. Finally, just to show how Millar's Ultimates takes things too the most disturbing extreme of the regular Marvel Universe, we have the continued relationship between Janet and Hank Pym and the Scarlet Witch flirts with an Ultron robot. The thing that really won me over about this issue though was the Captain America flashback at the end. It was a nice book end to Millar and Hitch's story, which started with Captain America way back in Ultimates 1 #1.

X-Men: First Class Special: I love this issue just as much as all the other ones. I don;'t think you are ever going to get a complaint from me about this series. It is pure love. Anyway, this Special is made up of three rather sweet and funny short stories, and three mini comics, all written by Jeff Parker but with different artists. I believe my favorite of the stories is "A Girl and Her Dragon" with art by Paul Smith. Maybe it's just my love for Jean Grey, but this one was especially sweet, and the art was fantastic. The mini comics, all with art by Colleen Coover, were just adorable. I don't think anyone has ever seen a story about Magneto and public restrooms or the X-Men and little ducklings before, but I think the world is a little better now that we have. However, much like Parker's Spider-Man and the Fantastic Four series, I am baffled by the rating. It's obvious that this series is geered towards younger readers, yet the rating is "A" instead of "AA." I am correct in my belief that "A" stands for "Adult" and "AA" stands for "All Ages." Aren't I?

Nobody's Dead. None of This Means Anything. I Wasted an Hour When All the Interesting Stuff Was in the Last 3 Minutes.

OK, I am so not in the mood to watch Smallville right now. I would much rather be watching The Office, but I said I would do this. I am nothing if not a woman of my word. There better be a kick ass fight scene and a shirtless Tom Welling. Rosenbaum should show some skin too. This would probably be better if I had been prepared with some alcohol. Let's just get this show on the road. Shall we?

There's a previously on Smallville. It illustrates just how much cooler the first half of the season was to the second.

Ooooo...Quebec. I bet even this is Vancouver. I liked the way you saw the red glow of Martian Manhunter's eyes before you saw him. It's an exorcism. Cool! Martian Guts! I see why this isn't working. You need a young priest and an old priest. It's Lex! He's got people with guns. And fwooosh! There goes the phantom!

I so love that the Clark/Zod mid-air cuddle from the season premier is in the credits.

I registered to play that Justice and Doom game, but I never even read any of the emails they sent me.

What is this Hidden Palms? Will it be very trashy? I could get on board a trashy summer soap, but it's gotta be very trashy. And campy.

Oh, Supernatural! There's the show I'm really looking forward to. Jensen Ackles is so pretty!

Lex is giving orders over the phone. Lionel tells him he looks worried. I miss Lionel's hair. If I were Lex, I would be worried too. His minions suck ass. Woah! Lex has security footage? I know they established that at the beginning of the season, but I figured they just forgot about it. Now Lana seems especially dumb. Dumber than usual even, because she knew about the security cameras too. Poor, poor deluded Lex. I know Lex is all evil, but he's just too pathetic.

Hey look! Someone remembers Jonathan. Have I ever mentioned how awful this Martha Kent, Senator thing is? She's never been elected to anything! The people of Kansas are being disenfranchised. Yes! Clark, move out of Smallville. Why are any of these people still in smallville. Grow the fuck up! Get a job! Go to school! Do something with your life! Wait. Who is going to take care of the farm if Clark doesn't? Y'know, they really should have given Martha Kent a better send off. Or something to do this year.

It's Lois, Lois Lane, general Sam Lane's daughter, the reporter, and that blond chick. OK, I admit to not paying that much attention to the last episode, but I do not remember Wes repeating a sequence of numbers. Do you? So Lois knows what happened to Chloe's mom? Does she know that Chloe's a meteor freak? Or that Lex abducted Chloe? This is lame. Also, when did Chloe start advocating backing down? And when did Lois get so smart? And if Lois knew about Chloe's mom, what was the point of the bullshit contrivance of having her know Wess Keenan? Shouldn't everything with Chloe and her mom have been enough for her to want to bring Lex down? This show fucking sucks!

A dam. No Beavers though. I like this scientist guy's voice. Y'know, if Lex and Clark had never broken up, Lex would have plenty of alien DNA. He'd just have to remember not to swallow. There's Lex's army of silver hot pants wearing super soldiers. Only Smallville could make that concept quite this gay, which is why I still kind of love this show sometimes.

What are the odds that FF2 will suck as bad as the first one? Seeing as Jessica Alba is still in it, I'm guess pretty good.

Oh, no. A Clana barn scene. Somebody save me from this crap. Well, at least they're not in the loft. Also, no crappy alt rock music. Superman loves destroying marriages. Yes, the most important thing for you to do is spend all your time protecting Lana, Clark. As much as I hate this, it's about fucking time Clark told Lana the truth. This blows. After all the fucking things they have done on this show, I have serious trouble believing Kryptonite could give Clark more than severe cramps. I get those once a month. He'll take some Midol, and everything will be fine. I don't see what the big deal is.

Good job, Clark. Beat up an old man. Hey, Martian Manhunter and Clark actually talked. Sort of.

Lexana confrontation. This fake baby plot makes no fucking sense. What kind of a monster is he? A really pathetic one. He wasn't even getting laid. It would have been much better if he was like, messing with the fetus, or impregnated her with a clone or something. See, I should be upset that Lex slapped her, but I'm not. He should have followed it up with beating her with a stick.

Martian Manhunter worked for Jor El? That's lame. And where the hell has MM been all these years if he's supposed to have been watching Clark? I bet he could have used his help fighting Zod?

Clark is using a computer! He can do that? Crazy! Right! Lana leaving Lex is completely on par with the super powerful phantom being on the loose. Oh, and Chloe gets to make that hurt face again. Just what I wanted to see.

Lois gets stabbed in the gut yet is still able to knock out the security guard. Of course. Good to know she hasn't actually become intelligent though. Everyone knows you don't pull the knife out. Dumbass. And why call Chloe, instead of say, I don't know 911? She did that in an "Arrow" also and I didn't get it then either.

Why did Lionel look upset that Lex hit Lana? Why does he care? I don't think I like good guy Lionel. Obviously he needs to grow his hair out again in order to get his mojo back. Maybe when his stint on Broadway is done.

Lana's car exploded! Notice how we didn't actually see her get in it. Damn it! I really wanted to enjoy that. I've enjoyed all her other deaths. The spoilers said we were supposed to see and arm. Where was the arm? Where was the ARM?! Did I mention that this show sucks?

My pretend husband is on the MLB O7 commercial. I can't fast forward through David Wright. Seeing him actually made me feel a little better. I think I'm ready to get back to the show now.

Lionel tells Clark about Lana's death because that's totally what he should be dealing with now. That phantom is completely unimportant. Tom Welling tries to cry. It's not of the good.

Lois is dead. It won't last. The good deaths never do. OH my GOD! I knew about the freaking healing tears and it actually managed to be even cheesier looking than I imagined. At least it wasn't green. It was supposed to be green originally. I'm not sure whether Chloe is near death or just catatonic there, but I can't even begin to tell you how pissed off I am that her freaking power is, on top of being a lame, passive one, something that almost freaking kills her. I've ranted about this a lot on line since I originally heard the spoiler, but it sucks. It sucks so much. I hate the fact that she gets victimized be her own freaking power.

Justice and Doom. Stuff happens. I can't read what's going on because I'm not wearing my glasses. I bet it would have been a lot more fun to see a show about that stuff though. Looks like it has superheroes. I wish this show had superheroes.

There's only 9 minutes left and there has been absolutely no action.

Now Lex is strapping little boys to tables. He went from Aquaman, to Cyborg, to Chloe, to this French Canadian kid. Is there no bottom to the depth of his depravity? What a perve. Oh, but the kid killed a guy! Too bad it was Lex's only competent and loyal minion. Still, I love seeing little kids kill people. That was awesome.

I would say it's nice that they named the dam after Christopher Reeve, but I'm not sure how much of an honor being associated with this show is anymore.

Clark goes to beat up another powerless mortal because of Lana. It's a good thing the phantom showed up. Otherwise Clark would probably be a murderer right now. Also, the world would be doomed, what with the phantom leaping from body to body every 24 hours. It'd take a long time, but I'm sure he would have gotten to everyone eventually, not to mention killed a lot of people along the way.

It's too bad the phantom couldn't stay in the little kid. I would have liked to see the Clark vs. little boy battle. Why did a big, silver Superman shield show when the phantom entered Clark?

Hey, it's a Clark double! The fun part of that is Tom Welling playing evil. He does it well. Of course we cut away from the fight to see Lex getting arrested for Lana's murder. I don't buy it. Lex is supposed to be really powerful. If they take forever to arrest actors, they are not going to arrest Lex this quickly. Also, she's not dead.

Great job there Lionel. You made him stronger. "I'm you, only a little more bizarre." Who writes these fucking crappy ass lines? Also, maybe it's just me, but I want my Bizarro to be more than just Clark with a better outfit. Woah! Woah! Did they just run at eachother at superspeed and bounce off one another? That's hilarious. Oh, and now Bizarro's flying away, and has somehow developed Bizarro face. That transition actually kind of looked like crap.

Is it wrong that I don't care how Lois, Chloe and Lionel get out of the dam that's about to collapse. I know they will, and I suspect that, much like in the season premier, they'll have to deal with it themselves since Clark will be off fighting another bad guy who can fly while he still can't. Stupid show. I just hope that in the season premier, Welling is actually wearing Bizarro makeup, instead of that crap CGI.

Well, that was more boring than anything else. There should have been more punching. I'm sure it would have been better had I not been completely spoiled, but it's really not my fault their writers throw there scripts out in public airports where anyone can find them. Stupid writers.

Why Is Everyone So Nice?

Has anybody else noticed anything a bit off about Veronica Mars since it returned a few weeks ago? First we had that episode that so resembled a PSA, or at least an after school special on tolerance, that I don't even think it's worth acknowledging as an actual episode of Veronica Mars. Then last week's episode, while completely awesome by virtue of Paul Rudd's performance alone, also had an episode where everything turned out happy in the end. Last night was the third ultra happy ending for the mystery of the week in a row.

What the hell is going on here? Where's the cynicism? Isn't this show supposed to be noir? Things are looking pretty bright for Veronica right now too. She's got a really sweet and decent boyfriend. She got her FBI internship. She's golden. As for Keith, if he can expose Vinny Van Lowe's connection to the Fitzpatricks, he's golden on the sheriff front. Sure Logan's still miserable, but a happy Logan is like an impossible state of being. Even Dick showed some humanity last night, though I had been expecting that for a while. I just wanted to know what happened to this show. Is the sunnier disposition an attempt to keep it on the air? Was it a network mandate?

I also have some questions about what's going on:

Did we ever find out why Dick was crying at the end of the season premier? He told Logan that he did something really bad?

How did Veronica get an internship with the FBI after being investigated for kidnapping last season? People who once tried pot can't even get into the FBI. I'm guessing this will never be addressed.

Can we have more Deputy Leo please? I was so happy to see him back in the Paul Rudd episode. He better be in the two hour finale next week.

I guess a lot of this stuff doesn't matter all that much, since it looks like the show has been canceled. The official announcement of the CW's fall line up is tomorrow, but considering that Kristen Bell signed up to do the voice overs for the new series Gossip Girl, I'm pretty certain that Veronica Mars won't be on it. I don't know how I feel about that. Considering the change in tone of the last few episodes, and the fact that each season has diminished in quality from the last, maybe it's best that it bows out now before it becomes an embarrassing shell of its former self. On the other hand, while it hasn't been able to reach the heights of the first season since then, it's still better than most things on television. It's certainly better than anything on the CW. Is it better to have no Veronica than a less than great Veronica? I'm not sure.

All that said, the previews for next week look awesome, and back to form for Veronica Mars. I cannot wait.

Scout Attacks! week 11: Playing Heroclix With Darkseid

Countdown #51: I have no idea why I allowed myself to get sucked into another weekly comic, but I'm fairly certain it had something to do with the name Paul Dini, Darkseid, DC's clever ad campaign, and instant gratification. Anyway, I was completely confused during this issue. Isn't Red Hood a bad guy? Where did all these Monitor guys come from? Didn't there used to just be the Monitor and the Anti-Monitor? And didn't they both die or something during Crisis on Infinite Earths? I'm guessing the whole bit about the monitors will be explained. I'm not so sure about Red Hood. I did like that the book opened up with Darkseid and his minion playing with DC Heroclix though (not really, but that's what it looked like). I'm going to give this book a couple more weeks before I make my final decision.

Green Arrow #74: I bought this book because of Black Canary and the lead up to next issue's proposal. I picked up the last issue as well, because it was part one of the storyline. I liked it. I can't attest to characterization or anything like that, because I know nothing about these characters besides liking Green Arrow a hell of a lot on JLU, but there was good humor and action and character stuff that I thought was interesting and came together nicely. I didn't feel completely lost as a new reader, which is something I have grown to really appreciate. I didn't like this issue as much. Ollie and Dinah apparently spend 40 hours having sex, which is fine, if a little weird considering how much is going on, but then they get all conversational. That's when it gets not so good, specifically when Dinah starts gushing about how much Ollie has changed. I can see her appreciating the changes he's made, especially when it comes to Roy, but it gets way too sappy. This whole thing just reads like the editorial mandate, and far too rushed. I kind of hope that when he proposes, she says no, just stretch it out a bit and make it seem more natural.

Amazing Spider-Man #540: I'm having trouble buying this story. Spider-Man is throwing people out windows and talking about how he's going to kill the person responsible, but it's pretty obvious that's not going to happen. He's going to come to the realization that he's not a murderer and Aunt May wouldn't want him to be come one, etc., etc. Haven't we been there before, maybe not with Aunt May specifically, but just in general? It certainly feels like we have. It shouldn't take Peter this long to think of that. MJ being all, "You go bash in some heads, honey. I'm totally supportive of that" seems way off too. The story seems rather contrived and cliche as well. On a more nit picky note, no one in Manhattan just says "the train station." It's Penn Station or Grand Central. How did Spider-Man know which one to go to? He figured it out though, since he went to Grand Central and managed to track down the sniper there. Then there's the fact that Spidey is just standing around in Grand Central, letting his spider-sense seek the sniper out, or whatever. That seriously bugged me. Spider-Man is supposed to be a wanted criminal. New York City's train stations are crawling with cops and National Guard and nobody notices the guy in the black costume with the big white spider on his chest and calls in Shield's cape killers? I call bullshit. It wouldn't have bothered me a year ago, but if Marvel Comics insists on taking a "realistic" approach to superheroes, then they have to actually deal with the realities of the world we live in.

The New Avengers #30: Never being an Avengers reader, I have no real prior exposure to Clint Barton, but now having met him, I think I love him. He's almost as awesome as that lawyer that was in the last issue. (It still would have been cooler if Ronin was Zombie Cap though.) The most interesting thing about this issue though is Luke Cage bringing up the idea of some sort of conspiracy going on, which was one of the interesting concepts that Bendis was playing with when the series started, but then got ignored. There's also a crazy purity spell that made no sense and Doctor Strange getting killed by some ninjas. I'm betting it won't take.

Spider-Man and the Fantastic Four #2: I love this book. It's so much fun. Sure it's completely superficial and the alien threat is barely worth caring about, but the characterization is great. Also, I love how polite the aliens are, and how they retain a certain amount of personality. When the people are assimilated, they don't just become Borg wannabes. I thought that was a pretty clever take on a fairly average alien assimilation story, and it fits much better with the light hearted tone of the series. Anyway, with Reed going off on a fact finding mission in space, Spidey's the team's science guy for the time being. It should be fun to see the remaining members of the Fantastic Four completely flout his authority. One thing I don't understand is why this book has an "Adult" rating. I think it could easily be an "All Ages" or at least "Teen" title, as could X-Men: First Class, which also carries and "Adult" rating. I just don't see what grounds there is for this story to carry the same rating as one where Spider-Man threatens to kill people and Doctor Strange gets gutted by a ninja.

OK, that's the end of that. I know it's already halfway through the month and I haven't done any of the Spider-Man Month things I said I was going to do, but I promise I will get to it, and hey, there were two Spidey books in this week's reviews, so that counts for something. Doesn't it? Oh, and I decided that for the season finale of Smallville, I am going to blog my reactions as I watch it. Based on spoilers, I thought it would be fun. We'll see.

Third Time, Not So Much the Charm

Huh...so, Spider-Man III. What to say? What to say? Honestly, I'm not sure what I thought about it, and that's what has taken so long with me getting this post up. Also, every time a comic book movie comes out, I swear that I am going to do an objective review of it, and then find myself unable to do so. Anyway, I guess the bottom line was that I was disappointed. I still really enjoyed it, but the first two films set a really high standard. They are two of the best, if not the best comic book adaptations ever made. This was more on par with Superman II. It was entertaining, but not really good. Spoilers follow, so beware if you haven't seen the movie yet.

I think my biggest problem with the movie was that it lacked the heart of the first two films. I think it was interesting that they put Peter in a situation I don't think I have ever seen him in in any comic book, that of be well liked and accepted by the public at large. He's always been a kind of hero to the common city dweller, but opinion on him is generally fairly divided and he's never been accepted by establishment. Here he is getting the key to the city, and seems almost universally beloved (except for by J. Jonah Jameson, of course). However, I ultimately didn't really find the effect it had on him to be very entertaining to watch. I think the closest to this I have seen in a comic book was House of M: Spider-Man, and it's worth noting that I didn't find Peter especially likable there either. Exploring Spider-Man's dark side through the effects that the symbiote (black ooze) had on his psyche, is one thing. Watching Peter Parker act like a self-absorbed jerk and treat his friends and loved ones like a dick is something else entirely. Kissing another girl while he knew Mary Jane was watching, was bad, accidentally hitting MJ (which pissed me off when it happened during the "Clone Saga," but hey, at least she wasn't pregnant here), and blowing off the side of Harry's face was a little too much for me to watch.

The movie's other problem was the cluttered storyline and the glut of characters. However, that wasn't nearly as big a problem as I feared it would be though. The brothers Raimi and Alvin Sargent managed to intertwine all the plots really well. Schumacker's Batman movies, and even maybe Batman Returns, could have learned a thing or two from Spider-Man III. Still, the Harry and Sandman plots paralleled each other so nicely, that I really think they could have done away with Venom altogether and had a better, less complicated movie. As for the new characters and cast members, I think they all did a good job. I had noted in previous posts that I was upset about changing the story to make Flint Marko Uncle Ben's killer. I felt it was a needless change to the origin, and a betrayal of the character. I couldn't be happier at how wrong I was on that count. While changes were made to Marko, the film kept him true to form and Thomas Hayden Church was perfectly cast. The scene between Sandman and Peter at the end was one of my favorites of the whole film. Topher Grace, an unconventional choice for Eddie Brock, also did a good job. He's a talented and charismatic actor, so I wasn't really surprised by that. I felt that Venom's potential was wasted though. I've always thought he was the most overrated member of Spidey's rogues gallery, but the end just seemed like a waste.

Gwen Stacy, while not really any less bland than Mary Jane, was refreshing simply for not being nearly as mopey and being played by a much more charming actress. Kirsten Dunst continues to drag the cast down. While never an appropriate choice for the role of Mary Jane Watson, if she would at least bring some of the spark she brought to her performances in The Cat's Meow, The Virgin Suicides, and Elizabethtown, she might at least have succeeded at being less annoying. I continue to see the major failure of these adaptations to be the portrayal of the female characters, who, despite what Kirsten Dunst might think, are far more interesting and positive in the comic books. However, I do really hope that Gwen and MJ become close friends in the fourth installment. Part of that is because of my affection for the Peter, Gwen, MJ and Harry group dynamic of the comic books, and part of it is just because it would serve Peter right.

I think the best part of the movie was the Harry Osborne plot. The filmmakers managed to compress at least a decade, if not two, of the character's history from the comic book into this one movie. James Franco has done a wonderful job in the role since the first movie and he really shines here. Going into watching the film, I remarked that if the resolution of Harry's storyline didn't make me cry, the movie would have been a complete failure. Suffice it to say, it was not. I cheered when Harry showed up during the final battle and my heart broke during his final scene.

Also, the entire ending was incredible. I think the big finale battle may have been one of the best I have ever seen in a superhero movie, but it was the emotional punch of the follow up scenes that would make this movie a success. After all, it was the drama and character development that set the first two Spider-Man movies apart from the superhero pack. Another thing worth noting were the returning cameos. This may have been Bruce Campbell's most enjoyable appearance yet, and hearing Stan Lee say "'Nuff said" filled me with geek joy.

Looking back over these comments, they are far more negative than I actually felt while watching the movie itself. I suppose it was just enjoyable to watch, but doesn't hold up as well to scrutiny when all is said and done. In the end, I think I need to see it again in order to really form a final opinion on it. I do think that I might like it more the second time around since I will know what to expect. I'm dying to see some of those fight scenes, all of which rocked, by the way, in IMAX.

Scout Attacks! week 10: More Than the Usual Amount of Ninjas

This week we have Whedon, Whedon, and more Whedon, plus some other stuff...

52 Week 52: So it's finally over, and this issue had little to nothing to do with the rest of the series. Well, that's not true. The end has multiple codas with the various characters from the series, so that obviously relates. My favorite bits are the panel of the man in Kahndaq, clearly Black Adam, walking with a close up on his alligator boots ("Oh, Sobek!"), and Ralph and Sue Dibney as ghostly detectives. I think that is adorable, and I am so happy for them that they are together. What comic book universe couldn't use a ghostly detective couple anyway? The main plot of the issue though is Rip Hunter, Booster Gold and Supernova (but not the one that's actually Booster) trying to stop Mr. Mind from destroying the Multiverse. There are apparently 52 earths now, and it's very convoluted, but fairly enjoyable. I just don't understand why the earths are exact duplicates of New Earth, but then when Mr. Mind does his thing, they become different. It's confusing. The issue ends on the least interesting relationship that this series has presented - Rene Montoya and Batwoman. I'm bitter because when this series started, we had two really cool characters working together - Rene Montoya and Charlie (Vic Sage/The Question). They were awesome together. Now we have Rene Montoya as the new Question being dragged down by an underdeveloped romance with the the bland Batwoman. It sucks. Total downgrade. On the other hand, we have a cute ghostly detective couple. Overall, this series was kind of hit or miss. I'm not sure it was ultimately worth the investment, but there were some really stellar moments. Also, the J.G. Jones covers could not be beat. This last wrap around one wasn't the best of them, but it was still beautiful.

Detective Comics #832: Another fill in writer, which kind of sucks, but it's not a bad little mystery. It's not that great either, though. Had I known it was a fill in writer, I wouldn't have bought it, and I don't think I would have missed out on anything. Also, there were sharks. I hate sharks.

Superman #662: We're back to the storyline that about the apocalyptic future, and Busiek does a great job of getting into Supes' head and showing his thought process about the various mysteries he's dealing with. It's nice to see him investigating. Sometimes it seems like writers forget he's supposed to be smart too. I just really think Busiek is doing a great job with this character, and while some of the stand alone issues weren't the best, this is an interesting story that I'm genuinely interested in seeing how it turns out. Pacheco is also back with this issue and that's a welcome return, except for the fact that Lois still has that unfortunate haircut and Zatanna's outfit is...well...does she really entertain company in that? I realize that her normal costume isn't the most modest garment, but that's underwear. Put on a robe, lady. He's a married man. Oh, and Chris is there, which I'm guessing means he will be sticking around after the Donner/Johns Action Comics storyline ends. I figured that would happen. The issue ends with the New Gods showing up. I have no idea who they are.

Supernatural Origins #1: I'll be honest. This wasn't great. I'm not really sure what it was, but it just fell flat. I'm invested enough in the show (it's one of my favorites) to want to keep reading though. It's a story I really want to find out more about, and I think there's a good chance that when things actually start happening it will get good.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The Long Way Home, Part III: There are so many good individual moments in this issue, and I know the threesome dream moment is the thing everyone is talking about, but I find the presence of the viking/cupid things more noteworthy. They're just weird. There's also a pretty cool witches' battle between Willow and Amy, which concludes with Giant Dawn going all stompy. The Scooby Gang reunion is very sweet, and probably my favorite part of the issue. My one real gripe is that there was this whole big zombie attack happening and we didn't get to see any of it. Also, and this isn't an issue for me, but presumable is for someone out there, this issue would be completely inaccessible to anyone who didn't watch the show. That said, it's another great issue, with a very surprising, and very cool, reveal at the end. And it's still only the second best Whedon comic and surprise ending of the week.

Astonishing X-Men #21: I hate Emma Frost. She just pisses me off, and the more Whedon tries to make me like her by trying to make her understandable, the more I hate her. It's really starting to interfere with my enjoyment of this series. It's also kind of making me dislike Cyclops, which saddens me most of all. What pisses me off is that, a while back, Whedon gave an interview about all the characters and he said that Scott's story has always been dominated by Jean Grey, and that that relationship wasn't really beneficial for the character, but Whedon is essentially doing the same thing with Scott and Emma, and frankly, Emma just is not a good person and it's hard to have the respect for Scott in his relationship with Emma that one had for him in his relationship with Jean. Jean was worthy of that level of forgiveness and devotion. Emma isn't even repentant, whatever her guilt level might be. Also, Jean had earned her place on the X-Men. She was one of the original members of the team, and had always been the most powerful, even before the Phoenix Force. Emma got her position as leader and headmistress why? Because she's sleeping with Scott? Scott just seems pussy whipped. Also, Scott is continuing to act like Mal, who I like, but who is nothing like Scott should be. At least there's still Kitty and Colossus, though not much actual development happens this issue. Ultimately, the most significant thing in this issue is naked Kitty. Kudos to Cassaday, who is always wonderful, for not making it seem exploitative at all. Still, I don't know that I really needed to see that. Also, Kitty is acting kind of erratically with regard to Peter, so I would really like those two to have a conversation soon.

Loners #2: This issue focuses mostly on Ricochet, and it's another good read. This series isn't going to be for everyone, but I'm enjoying it. I like the focus on lesser known characters. I like the teen angst qualities, and that everyone is dealing with issues of identity. I like the art. I like that Penance shows up at the end of this issue. Oh, and I like that Chris and Mickey got together, because that was set up back in the Runaways arc, so it's nice to see that it actually went somewhere.

Runaways #26: This was by far the comic of the week, and it had the line of the century with "Punisher' war journal: Hhhhhhh...." The absence of Vaughn and Alphona isn't as sorely felt this month, and it makes it so much easier to just sit back and enjoy this story and these characters. Whedon's voice may not be exactly like Vaughn's, but he does write the Runaways so well. I am still amazed by how much I am loving Xavin. The turnaround on that character in the last three of four issues is just so great to see, because it's not that Xavin's different, it's just that it's finally clicked for me what he's all about. Molly is still the best thing ever though, with Chase coming in a close second. I'm really intrigued by the old lady and her guardian angel guy. What's his deal? And if she's the Kingpin's client, why do they seem to be working at cross purposes? At least now we know Kingpin doesn't have glands, he just really likes chocolate. Also, there are ninjas. What's up with all the ninjas and zombies lately? Clearly those two concepts need to meet. Ninja zombies would own. The issue ends with time travel, and I am psyched. The cover for the next issue is gorgeous. And that my friends, is Whedon's best last page reveal of the week.

I got Hellboy: Destiny Calls also, but I generally buy those series up and read all the issues at once, so I probably won't be doing a review on it, at least not for a while. Also, seeing as how it's Spider-Man Month and that one was absolutely amazing and one had a huge WTF?! moment and both left me feeling just a hint of dread, I'm going to be doing separate posts on Sensational Spider-Man Annual #1 and the FCBD Amazing Spider-Man. My thoughts on Spider-Man III should be up tomorrow night, and I've got stuff to say about TV also, so hopefully I will get those all done soon.

Random Other Comics Stuff

IGN had this Spidey related article up, which I thought was interesting and decided to share: IGN: Spider-Man Editor Roundtable. Often, when I read statements from Marvel or interviews about Spider-Man, I am left feeling angry and very much like I want to punch someone in the throat. This didn't make me feel that way (and yes, I am working on my fan entitlement related rage issues). Maybe I'm just so excited about all things Spidey right now that nothing can bother me. I do think it's a bit pointless for all the editors to be so coy about whether or not Spider-Man is going to be driven to kill someone. The whole point of "Back in Black" is Spidey going off to seek revenge on the person ultimately responsible for May getting shot. We know that that person is Kingpin and we know from stories that take place later in continuity that Kingpin is not dead. I suppose Spidey could kill the actual gunman, in which case, expect my rage issues to come into play.

And since I'm just linking to stuff, here's some Spidey related sites I've been feeding my Spidey related high with lately: SpiderFan.org and Spidey Kicks Butt.

In non-Spidey stuff, Newsarama has previews of some of DC's July comics. I was already planning on picking up the Black Canary mini series, but with Killer Elvises in the first issue, it's pretty much a must have. I mean, Killer Elvises. What's not to like? It's just too bad the villains for the whole series won't be Killer Elvises. As for Green Arrow: Year One, I'm not too sure about it. I thought Ollie got stranded on a deserted island. What's with the arctic setting? And it looks like he and that guy he's with are making snow angels in the last panel on the third page.

Finally, I think I have decided that "Scout Attacks!" is going to be the name of my weekly comic reviews post. It's lame, but I kind of like it. And finally, just because it is cool, I give you the Ramones performing the theme song from the 60's Spider-Man cartoon.