Saturday, April 01, 2006

"Clark, you're hypnotized. How else could you throw me across the room?"

I wasn't initially going to comment on this week's Smallville, even though it was the first one in weeks and it had Professor Fine, but with a line like that I had to. In a word, it was the awesomest line ever. It just so neatly exemplifies the kind of crap we are expected to swallow week after week. Every time Clark uses his superpowers in front of Lex, we are supposed to believe that Lex is going to accept the lame ass excuses Clark gives him, not to mention Lana. Lionel used bizarre stone from Honduras to swap bodies with Clark, and it somehow gave Lionel (in Clark's body) superstrength. Clark was infected with some weird silver "meteor rock" that no one ever saw before. It made him paranoid and gave him superstrength and speed. Clark was hypnotized by some skank. Guess what. It gave him superpowers. Did it give any of the other people who got hypnotized superpowers? Uh, no. Wow. Interesting. That couldn't possibly mean that Clark had superpowers to begin with. No, of course not.
As far as I'm concerned, there is no reason why Lex should still be investigating Clark, which he apparently is since he told Simone that she wasn't just supposed to break Clark and Lana up (belch) but also find out if there was anything unusual about Clark. He should already know that Clark has freaking superpowers. Lex, just move on to whatever you are planning on doing once you found out whether or not Clark has superpowers. Seriously, enough is enough.
Also in this episode, Clark and Lana broke up for the 500th time. Apparently this time it's forever. Oh how I wish I could believe that. Hearing Clark tell Chloe "My power to hurt Lana is greater than all my powers combined," was just painful. Clark, you stopped a missile. Hurting Lana somehow outweighs saving thousands of lives. OK then. I will say this though, Kristin Kreuk actually managed to give a good performance this week. I might have actually had some sympathy for Lana if : 1) she didn't use the same "Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't still love me" line that she used on Jason last season (maybe she has her own powers of hypnosis); 2) she didn't immediately go running off to her back up boyfriend, Lex; and 3) they didn't have Chloe and Martha go on about how Clark has given Lana reason to hate him. What kind of bullshit is that? Lots of people get dumped. Eat a pint of Ben & Jerry's and get over it. And why would that be such a big deal anyway? Martha made that comment about hoping Lana didn't do anything they would all regret, which made absolutely no sense to me. (But then, I haven't understood why Martha suddenly went from being Lana's #1 fan to going on about how maybe she's not the one for Clark.) I'm just going to assume that Martha and Chloe are so concerned about Lana hating Clark because they have secretly feared her for years. It makes sense. She wore that freaking necklace for years. She should be a krypto freak herself by now. Or have cancer. In the comic books, didn't Lex get cancer from the kryptonite ring that he wore?
Here's what I did like: Chloe saving the day. It was actually pretty believable and not too contrived. It was completely in character for her to have faith in Clark and believe he was mindwhammied. Considering she knows that the Kents store random pieces of kryptonite around just in case, I find it reasonable that she would do the same. Her finding all that info about Simone and the crystal were the most implausible parts, but she's been doing that since season 1. Her reaction to knocking out Martha was awesome too. Very cute. I also liked seeing Clark knock Lois out. She was annoying and it shut her up. He should do that more often. Why was she even in this episode?
I guess this episode was pretty entertaining though. I pretty much enjoyed it while I was watching it. It was amusing. Unfortunately, I think most of the comedy was unintentional. There was one huge missed opportunity in this episode. When Clark saw Simone's crystal, he should have said "Oooo. Shiny," thereby completing his transformation into The Tick.

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